Note: This is a fictionalized, first-person style review shaped from common member stories and public meeting formats.
The short of it
Sex and Porn Addicts Anonymous (SPAA/SAA) is a 12-step support group for people who want to stop compulsive sexual behaviors and porn use. Meetings are free. No sign-ups. No last names. You sit, you listen, you share if you want, and you get a phone list. It sounds simple. And it is. But simple doesn’t mean easy.
If you’re hunting for an expanded walk-through—including meeting formats, common questions, and a deeper dive into why “simple” can still feel hard—you’ll find that in this extended heart-level review.
You know what? For many folks, that’s the point.
First walk-in jitters
I showed up early. Hands in my pockets. I stared at the coffee pot like it had answers. A greeter said, “Glad you’re here.” Not “good,” not “brave.” Just “glad.” That helped.
We opened with a few readings about honesty and hope. Then quick check-ins:
- Name
- What brought us here
- One thing we’re doing today to stay safe
No cross-talk. No advice during shares. The quiet felt kind.
I didn’t speak the first time. I just listened and breathed. I counted 4 in, 4 out. That was my first win.
What helped me most
- A sponsor who texted, “You’re not bad. You’re sick and getting better.” That line stuck.
- A daily plan: phone in the kitchen at night, filters on devices, no scrolling when lonely.
- The phone list. Real people. Real calls. I used it at 11:47 p.m. once when the urge hit hard.
- Clear “bottom lines” (hard no’s). Also “middle lines” (warning signs like boredom, late-night scrolling).
- 90 meetings in 90 days. I didn’t make them all. But I tried. The rhythm helped.
Honestly, I thought I needed sheer will. Turns out I needed people.
Real moments that felt human
- Day 13. My screen buzzed and my chest tightened. I put the phone in a drawer and texted a guy from the list: “I’m shaky.” He called back. We counted breaths. Ten minutes later, the storm passed. Not dramatic. Just steady.
- A newcomer cried after taking a white chip for a fresh start. We clapped soft. No speeches. Just a little coin, a little hope.
- Someone shared, “I looked my partner in the eye today.” That hit hard. It wasn’t about porn. It was about showing up.
If you’re on the other side of the table—married to someone who struggles—this candid spouse’s perspective in my honest review of being married to someone with a porn addiction might resonate. - I laughed in a meeting. I didn’t expect that. Someone joked about “the committee” in their head. We all knew that voice.
What was tough (and how I handled it)
- “Higher Power” talk. I stumbled on that. My sponsor said, “Make it the group for now.” So I did. For me, “HP” became: quiet + honesty + people who get it.
- Shame. It sat heavy. Meetings didn’t erase it fast. But shame hates daylight. Sharing lightened the load, bit by bit.
- Rules like “no cross-talk.” At first it felt cold. Later I got it. It keeps shares safe and clean.
- Mixed feelings seeing someone I knew. We nodded, and that was that. Anonymity works when we keep it.
Temptation is everywhere online, and recognizing how easily one click can open the floodgates helped me tighten my safety plan; seeing the sheer volume of explicit, niche content—such as mature-themed pages like this MILF-focused portal—underscored why I keep blockers active and a phone buddy on speed-dial whenever an urge spikes, turning awareness of the landscape into motivation for stronger boundaries.
Along the same lines, browsing a geo-specific hookup board can illustrate just how fast curiosity morphs into opportunity; the local listings at Backpage Hempstead showcase real-time ads and direct-contact buttons, giving anyone who visits a clear sense of why physical-world acting out can feel only a few taps away—and thus why a solid exit plan and accountability partner remain critical.
For readers who lean on faith and want practical, grace-based tools, this Christian help for porn addiction guide digs even deeper into blending recovery work with belief.
How meetings run (most of the time)
- Open with readings
- Quick check-ins
- A few shares (3–5 minutes each)
- Maybe a Step reading or topic
- Announcements, chips for milestones
- Close with a prayer or moment of silence
Some groups are very quiet. Some are warm and chatty before and after. The heartbeat stays the same.
Results after a season of work
Not magic. But steady change.
- More sleep. Less fog.
- Fewer secrets. More eye contact.
- I still slipped once. I told the group. No one scolded me. We looked at the trigger and the plan. That honesty felt new.
- Therapy helped alongside the program. The combo made sense for me.
I’m not “fixed.” I’m supported. There’s a big difference. For additional stories and science-backed strategies that complement the 12-step path, Through the Flame has become a go-to reading spot I visit between meetings.
Pros
- Free and easy to find, with in-person and phone/online meetings
- Simple tools that work in real life
- People who don’t flinch when you tell the truth
- Chips and check-ins give small wins
- Clear steps for the long haul
Cons
- God-language can be a hurdle (there are secular-leaning groups too)
- Quality varies by meeting; you may need to try a few
- Shame doesn’t vanish fast; patience is part of the work
- It’s not therapy or medical care; some folks need both
Who this helps
- You keep trying to stop, and can’t
- You hide your use, lie about time, or feel out of control
- Your relationships, work, or sleep are getting hit
- You want a plan and people, not just willpower
Loved ones who feel their own anxiety, resentment, or obsession with monitoring a partner’s behavior may see themselves in this honest take on being a codependent of a sex addict.
Who might need more: anyone with severe mental health issues, withdrawal risk, or safety concerns. Pair the group with a licensed therapist, doctor, or a crisis line if needed.
Starter tips that saved me
- Sit near the door if you’re nervous. Leave if you must. Come back if you can.
- Say your name. That’s enough on day one.
- Get a phone list. Text someone “Thanks for being here.” Save the numbers.
- Try six meetings before you decide.
- Don’t share graphic details. Keep it gentle and honest.
- Eat after meetings. A sandwich helps more than you think.
My plain verdict
Is SPAA/SAA perfect? No. It’s human. It’s messy. It asks you to show up when you’d rather hide. But there’s real care in those rooms. There’s also structure, which helps when your brain feels wobbly.
I give it a strong yes for folks who want steady, quiet change. Not quick. Not flashy. Steady. If today feels loud, take a seat, take a breath, and let someone say, “Glad you’re here.” Sometimes that’s the key that opens the door to the next good thing.