Quick outline
- What the cycle felt like for me
- Real moments that showed the loop
- Triggers that pulled me back in
- What actually helped
- What didn’t help at all
- Small wins that kept me going
- Final thoughts if you’re in it too
Hey, I’m Kayla. I review stuff for a living, but this one isn’t a gadget. It’s a loop I lived. A sticky loop. Porn addiction cycles.
This breakdown of the porn addiction cycle mirrors a lot of what I felt.
I’m not a doctor. I’m just telling you what happened to me, what I tried, and what helped me breathe again.
You know what? It’s messy. But I’ll keep it plain.
What the loop looked like for me
My cycle was simple, but mean.
- Trigger hits (stress, boredom, a fight).
- I tell myself I’ll “just check for a minute.”
- Minutes turn to an hour.
- My brain goes numb. My chest feels tight.
- Shame pops in. I promise to quit for good.
- A day or two passes. Then I do it again.
It felt like walking the same dark block at night, even when I knew the street was not safe.
Real moments I still remember
- Bedtime lie: I said I was going to sleep at 11. I stayed up till 2 with my phone under the covers. Dry eyes. Neck sore. A fan humming loud to hide the sound of my own head.
- Lunch break at work: I ate fast, pulled up a private tab, and almost missed a meeting. I told my boss, “Wi-Fi was weird.” It wasn’t.
- After a fight: I sat in my car in the driveway, and scrolled. The car got cold. I still went inside late and quiet.
- Hotel trip: I told myself I’d be “good.” I wasn’t. I kept the TV on low, like that would make me feel less alone. It didn’t.
- Sunday slump: I’d clean the kitchen, then “relax” with my phone. Two hours gone. Chores half done. Mood even lower.
It wasn’t wild or flashy. It was dull and sneaky. Like a slow leak in a tire.
The little setup that made it worse
It wasn’t just the act. It was the prep.
- Private browsing on by default.
- Headphones always plugged in.
- History cleared. Tabs hidden.
- Lights off. Door closed. Phone on silent.
Small choices set the stage. By the time I “made a choice,” the choice was almost made.
Triggers that pulled me back
- Stress after long emails at work.
- Boredom on slow Sunday afternoons.
- Lonely nights. Winter made it worse. Early dark, heavy air.
- Scrolling the Explore page. Thirsty thumbnails. You know the kind.
- Big wins, weirdly. After a good day, I’d say, “I earned a treat.”
Sometimes I found myself craving an actual human exchange rather than another video, and that curiosity sent me poking around personal-ad sections online. Craigslist personals-style boards like this one can introduce you to nearby adults who are also looking to meet face-to-face, offering a chance for genuine conversation and clear consent instead of endless solo scrolling. While mapping out what was available in different cities, I discovered a Miramar-specific classifieds hub at Backpage Miramar, where listings are filtered by location so you can quickly see who’s actually nearby and what they’re looking for.
I learned a simple check-in: HALT. Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? Most times, yes. At least one.
How it hit my life
- Sleep: I lost hours. Mornings felt like moving through mud.
- Mood: I was snappy, then flat. Like a phone on 5%.
- Work: Little mistakes stacked up. Missed a line in a report. Forgot to send a file.
- Love: I pulled away. Eye contact felt hard. Hugs felt short. Trust got thin.
- Health: Headaches. Tight jaw. No pep for the gym.
I told myself it was “not that bad.” It was bad enough.
What actually helped (not perfect, but real)
None of this is magic. But these gave me space. If you’re looking for a therapist-backed checklist, I got a lot out of Talkspace’s explanation of how to stop and overcome a pornography addiction.
- No phone in bed. I bought a $10 alarm clock. This was huge. Rating: 9/10.
- Screen limits with a friend’s code. iPhone Screen Time. Android Digital Wellbeing. My friend set the passcode. I didn’t know it. Rating: 8/10.
- Blockers on my laptop: Cold Turkey, Freedom, or 1Focus. On weekdays, they locked sites from 9 pm to 7 am. Rating: 7/10.
- Tiny delay rule: Give urges 15 minutes. Drink water. Step outside. Walk the block. If the urge still yelled, I’d wait five more. Rating: 8/10.
- Text a person, not the void. I had one friend. We used simple notes: “Urge 7/10. Going for a walk.” He’d send a thumbs up. That was enough. Rating: 9/10.
- Replace the click with a move. My quick list:
- Cold shower, 2 minutes
- Ten push-ups (messy form counts)
- Stretch hamstrings, 60 seconds
- Journal one page (what I feel, not what I did)
- Call my sister, even if she doesn’t pick up
- Read two pages of any book
- Group and therapy. I tried SMART Recovery and SAA meetings ( my heart-level review of what SAA was really like is here ). Hearing other folks say my exact thought out loud? Wild relief. A therapist helped me map triggers and make a plan for slips. Rating: 8/10.
For anyone who wants a more academic walk-through of the science behind these community tools, the Comprehensive Guide to Overcoming Porn Addiction from the Center for Internet & Technology Addiction lays out seven solid strategies and why they work.
- Slip plan. If I relapsed, I wrote three things: What happened? What did I feel? What will I try next time? No drama. No “I blew it.” Just notes. Then I moved on. Rating: 10/10 for sanity.
Side note: I tested streak counters. For me, they turned into a shame bomb. Day 29 felt like a cliff. When I fell, it hurt twice. So I tracked sleep hours and mood instead. Much kinder.
What didn’t help me
- Pure shame. It never helped. Not once.
- “I’ll quit forever” vows at 2 am. They broke by Tuesday.
- Late-night Reddit rabbit holes “for tips.” Triggers dressed up as advice.
- Changing 20 things at once. I burned out. One change at a time worked better.
Strange but true: boredom was the loudest
Stress made me shaky. But boredom? That was the sneaky one. I learned to plan dull time. A cheap puzzle on the table. A podcast for dishes. A slow walk with no phone. Sounds silly. It kept my hands busy when my head got loud.
Small wins that kept me going
- I fell asleep 45 minutes earlier. That changed my mornings a lot.
- Fewer headaches. Less jaw clench.
- I looked people in the eye more.
- I did laundry on time. Tiny, but it felt like self-respect.
- Urges stayed, but they left faster. Like waves that shrink.
Honestly, I still get pulled some days. Winter nights test me. Travel days too. But the loop isn’t in charge now. I have space to pick.
My plain verdict
- The porn cycle felt like quick relief that charged me heavy interest.
- Breaking it wasn’t one huge fix. It was lots of small, boring tools that worked together.
- The key move was this: make it hard to start, and easy to choose something else.
If you’re stuck in it, you’re not broken. Your brain found a fast path. You can build new paths. Slow, steady, kind.
Reading stories and guidance at Through the Flame also gave me proof that recovery is possible and worth the grind.
If you’re specifically looking for Christian-based help, this breakdown of the faith tools that actually helped me might be useful.
Take one tiny step today. Maybe move your phone out of the bedroom. Or text one friend. Or set one blocker for one hour tonight. That’s enough for day one.
I’m rooting for you. And if you slip, you can still be rooting for you, too.
—Kayla