Important Message Please Read

[Admin2]

Dear Members,

Over the past few months, there have been a number of minor differences of opinion. Some differences have been between individual members, some have been between members and members of the TTF Team and some differences between groups of members.

Of course in a growing community there will always be a difference of opinion, however, it is how these differences are dealt with that is now a cause for concern.

First a little perspective:
TTF is a site geared to help members deal with the effects of PA.
The core objective of TTF is to provide a platform for people to:-

-grow their knowledge about Pornography addiction
-understand the best methods to combat PA
-Provide resources to for both SO’s and PA to assist them in understanding and dealing with the effects of PA
-To provide a safe and calm environment where members can enjoy the forums and take maximum benefit from the wealth of knowledge that is contained within the site.

Based on TTF’s core objectives, I must now reiterate that if any member or group of members distract from these core objectives, action will be taken for the good of the site.

While I am completely aware no one has any ill intention to an individual member or the site, it is clear that sometimes words or tone can be easily misread, which can ultimately lead to animosity, thus distracting from the above objectives mentioned.
Sometimes the TTF team will take action and moderate posts / threads that you may not immediately understand why, but the TTF team are acting under specific guidelines set by myself and owners of the site. For example we have been questioned by many members why we censor certain websites, and certain words and descriptions from posts. To us this is a clear need in providing a safe environment, as many PA’s are at different levels in their recovery and there should be no room for any triggering material. What may not be a trigger for you, can easily be a trigger for another.

Another example is animosity and argumentative posts. It has been proven that many PA’s are triggered by stress and anger. It is great to have good debates on topics, sadly sometimes these debates and discussion from different viewpoints can be posted in a manner that can be translated as aggressive or patronising, thus causing stress and arguments.

As mentioned, the need for this post has come about through a number of minor incidents arising, that could have easily be dealt with by members giving a little more thought before posting i.e. Will this post be taken badly by another member, will this post actually help another member or potentially upset or trigger a PA.

Due to the growing membership, I have re-clarified the objectives to the TTF Team so that we are all clear in what is acceptable and what is not.

In complete transparency I would like to share this with you:

1. Members make a post for the first time with triggering descriptions/words

a.Remove/amend post

2. Members make a post a 2nd time or more with triggering
descriptions/words

a.Remove / amend post – send PM to advise member of why they should not do this

b.Subsequent posts that disregard rule receive warning and potential ban

3.Members post link to another website without asking for permission

a.Remove link

b.Subsequent posts with external link – remove link – and advise Member that permission needs to be gained from a member of The TTF Team as site has to be reviewed. (Remember this link may be fine, but what else is on the site that is being linked?)

4.Member being rude to another member

a.PM sent to initiating member, and asked to tone down

b.Subsequent posts of rudeness – issue warning and potential ban

5.Member attacking another member

a.Issue warning and potential ban

6.Member causing disruption / always looking to start a heated debate or cause controversy

a.Issue warning and potential ban

7.Member attacking or being disruptive to a member of TTF Team

a.Issue warning and potential ban

8.Member using triggering avatar

a.Remove avatar – send PM to explain why

b.Subsequent avatar is also triggering – issue warning and potential ban

9.Member advertising in post or signature

a.Remove advert / signature – send PM to explain why

b.Subsequent advertising – Ban

10. Discussion of Child Pornography

a.Delete thread / post – PM to member explain we do not support this, and if they are looking for support for this, this is not the site, and we will close their account.

I would also like to take this opportunity to advise all members that TTF team and owners are all simple people who have regular jobs and families. The TTF Team give many many hours voluntarily to assist in the continual running and maintenance of the site which is run on a very small budget and continues to with the very generous donations given by you.

Stay focussed and I wish you all the very best in success for your personal recovery be it PA or SO.

Many Thanks & Kind Regards

Admin2
Throughtheflame.org

[Admin2]

Dear All,

In complete honesty, I think I have accidently broken the site :((

This is partly due to running and testing upgrade scripts on our test site, and it now seems likely, not all files and scripts have gone to the right place, and have thus effected the live site.

Gulp.

So from what I can see now, there are a few errors such as:

• cannot post new threads
• cannot send Private messages

I am positive there will be a few more.

My options, are not completely clear at this stage as mentioned on a few occasions, I am not a technical guru, and clearly I have done well until now.

Where was I ...my options I need to now decide if I can revert things back, in a smei half upgraded state, or do I just plough through and upgrade in stages. The later would be a crazy option in my opinion, hence we had a testing site, sadly, I was not careful enough.

I will have a few hours to think about this and call upon some support from the software providers and see what can be done. Until then please accept my apologies for the reduced functionality of the site.
:-B

[Yechezkel]

Dear All,

In complete honesty, I think I have accidently broken the site :((

This is partly due to running and testing upgrade scripts on our test site, and it now seems likely, not all files and scripts have gone to the right place, and have thus effected the live site.

Gulp.

So from what I can see now, there are a few errors such as:

• cannot post new threads
• cannot send Private messages

I am positive there will be a few more.

My options, are not completely clear at this stage as mentioned on a few occasions, I am not a technical guru, and clearly I have done well until now.

Where was I ...my options I need to now decide if I can revert things back, in a smei half upgraded state, or do I just plough through and upgrade in stages. The later would be a crazy option in my opinion, hence we had a testing site, sadly, I was not careful enough.

I will have a few hours to think about this and call upon some support from the software providers and see what can be done. Until then please accept my apologies for the reduced functionality of the site.
:-B

Hey, it's ok stuff happens, we all appreciate so very much all that you have done, I'm hoping this post goes through, just because I wanna let you know IT'S OK.

Thank you guys for everything....

Y.

[Admin2]

Site should be back to normal now. Sincerest apologies for the disruption, and many many thanks for the support and kind words.

Thats enough tinkering with the servers for 1 day I think!

Warm Regards
Admin2

[Life-lies-trust]

Admin's you are great guys and deserve a large chocolate bar for all that you do.