Proverbs teachings on Lust

[Light]

Here are some teachings from Proverbs that I find to be useful, and I think they apply to our struggles with pornography. If you are a woman struggling with porn, just reverse the gender roles in the verse :)

I think there is much truth in these words. People from long ago had the wisdom to know that constantly looking for sexual satisfaction outside your relationship does not lead to happiness, but creates only problems and misery. There is no peace in lust.

It seems that in these modern times, we have completely forgotten this wisdom, but it is obvious that the fruit of our behaviors have not resulted in better lives or better relationships, but more frustration and barriers in our search to truly connect with our partners.

To be content is a beautiful thing, especially with our partners, and current attitudes toward sex certainly discourage contentment and diminish our chances of finding long term happiness in relationships.

Proverbs 5:1-6:

“My son, be attentive to my wisdom;
incline your ear to my understanding,
that you may keep discretion,
and your lips may guard knowledge.

For the lips of a forbidden woman
drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil,
but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death;
her steps follow the path to Sheol;
she does not ponder the path of life;
her ways wander, and she does not know it.

[Light]

We should be satisfied with our partners, not pornography...

Proverbs 5:15-20 says this:

[15] Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.

[16] Should your springs be scattered
abroad, streams of water in the streets?

[17] Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for strangers with you.

[18] Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your
youth,

[19] a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times
with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.

[20] Why should you be intoxicated, my
son, with a forbidden woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?

[Light]

I picked some of the better parts from this page that apply to these verses:

Proverbs 5:19

Contentment with your wife is essential for a happy marriage. Solomon warned his son to make three important choices - cherish his wife tenderly as a delicate object of affection, focus on her body and sexuality only, and let her affection and devotion consume him. This inspired proverb contains some of the most necessary marital advice for husbands. A man can profit very much by learning and doing this wisdom and that in Colossians 3:19.

If a man lets bitterness harden him toward his wife, desires the bodies of other women, or despises his wife's efforts to be his lover, he will destroy his marriage, his sexuality, and his soul. Discontentment, especially in marriage, has terrible consequences! Beware! The blessed God, who knows more about marital love and pleasure than all men combined, is giving invaluable instruction to those who will humble themselves, hear it, and apply it.

A bitter man is horribly unhappy, constantly frustrated, and sexually impaired. He will hurt and neglect his wife, until she cannot love him, and the marriage becomes a sham. He will be vulnerable to strange women, whose breasts cannot satisfy, no matter how beautiful, for they belong to cruel women God has condemned (5:9). Solomon, the loving and wise father, soberly warned his son against the great dangers of discontentment.

....

The infinite Creator, who designed love, sex, and every detail of both bodies, limited man sexually to one woman, and that only in marriage. To keep monogamy from becoming monotony, He gave these rules of marital advice for men. If a man keeps them, he will realize the glorious happiness and fulfillment the LORD intended in creating Eve for Adam (Gen 2:18; I Cor 11:9). He will fervently say with His Creator, "It is very good!" Hollywood and Playboy are abject losers when it comes to love and sex, as their lives, divorces, dysfunction, and unhappiness prove. Ultimate love is only for obedient saints.

To ravish a thing is to seize and carry it away by violent force, as plundering spoil from an enemy. To ravish a person is to overpower them and take them away, as in sweeping them off their feet! Wise men choose to be overcome by their wives' affection, devotion, and lovemaking. The rule here is not ravishing your wife, but rather being ravished by your wife! But since she is a responder, it includes your love of her! It is a choice to be spoiled by her affection, so the strange woman has no means of approach or seduction!

It should be obvious that pornography is totally condemned by this proverb. Being satisfied with your wife's breasts and body at all times does not allow even brief looks at the breasts or bodies of other women. In order for a man to keep this proverb, he must also be exceedingly careful with television and magazines and avoid public beaches or pools, shopping malls in summertime, coed gyms, and offices with immodest women. If such rules are too hard for you, then don't complain about your unhappy marriage.

Contentment in marriage is a learned choice, as it is in other things (Phil 4:11). It is an attitude, not better circumstances (Phil 4:12). There is no perfect spouse, and there never will be. Neither is there a perfect job, business, house, car, or vacation. So the key to success in marriage is to be content - totally satisfied, even ravished - by the one you have married. Don't wait for the one you have to change, or wish you were with another. Great gain is godliness with contentment (I Tim 6:6), and it certainly applies to marriage.

Husband, you have just read marital advice worth a fortune from the wisest man who ever lived, who had 1000 wives (I Kgs 11:3). Marital happiness, fulfilling love, and satisfying sex are dependent on you! The advice is simple: consider and treat her delicately with tender affection, choose to be always satisfied with her body and lovemaking, and focus on her devotion, love, and loyalty. You can be immensely happy!

Do not let any other woman even encroach on any of these areas. Solomon's words are certainly valuable for promoting a great marriage, but they were given for warding off the temptations of the strange woman. By choosing to exalt your own wife to her rightful place, you will be spared the vexing draw of other women, who can only tantalize, frustrate, and destroy you. There is no true peace, pleasure, or prosperity for the adulterer.