how to pray when you are in crisis

[dave]

Despite 102 days clean my emotions still get away on me. It usually happens at night. My old pattern was to use P and M. Now I am living clean I have been reaching for prayer but I have to say that it doesn't feel like it works in the sense of feeling some comfort and relief. I am glad that I have stayed clean but I would appreciate some ideas no how to pray when things feel crazy.

[HalfPint]

well dave . . . that's a good question. That's a question that man has been trying to figure out for years, stories and poems have been written, songs have been sung, and the only thing I can do to help you out is repeat them. I myself has struggled with how to properly pray in crazy times. It is said that its in the most craziest of times that we become closer to God and its at the times when we are at our worst is when he is helping us the most.

The first thing I can suggest is a song you should look up, maybe get. the song is "Trust his heart" by "Babbie Mason". Here are the lyrics:

all things work for our good
though sometimes we don't see how they could
struggles that break our hearts in two
sometimes blind us to the truth

our father knows whats best for us
his ways are not our own
so when your pathway grows dim and you just don't see him
remember your never alone

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
so when you don't understand
when you don't see his plan
when you cant trace his hand trust his heart

he sees the master plan
and he holds our future in his hands
so don't live as those who have no hope
all our hope is found in him

we see the present clearly
but he sees the first and the last
and like a tapestry he's weaving you and me to someday be just like him

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
so when you don't understand
when you don't see his plan
when you cant trace his hand trust his heart

he alone is faithful and true
he alone knows what is best for you

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
so when you don't understand
when you don't see his plan
when you cant trace his hand trust his heart
when you don't understand
when you don't see his plan
when you cant trace his hand trust his heart

:It truly is a beautiful song.

Also, one thing that Might help is a poem I enjoy reading time to time. Its a very common one that I'm sure you've heard of, if not seen it on a picture hanging on someones wall. That poem is "Footprints in the sand". Basically (so that I don't make this post any longer than it is, so I'll sum it up) there are 2 pairs of foot prints in the sand. Yours and Gods. As you look back at your footprints you notice that when times get tough, when things see crazy, or in times of crisis you see that all of a sudden there's only 1 pair of footprints and you say "God, where were you when I needed you the most. The times when you should have been there you weren't and the rest of the time you were?" God simply replies "Those aren't your footprints for I was carrying you". Its always touched my heart thinking about that. I know, the other day I was talking with a friend from college and she said that she longed to be held by her heavenly father, and it made me think . . . you know, its just too true. We, as children, which in all respects and reality, to God we are his children, we would (if we were blessed enough to have one) always be picked up and held by our fathers, at least I was, before things got crazy with my parents almost splitting up and all the arguing. My father would always pick me up and carry me and there's something about that feeling. And as Christians we have a natural ache to be with him, and to be held. We ache to be held by our heavenly father, to feel his warmth, his strength, and to know that we are safe because were being held by our father.

I guess, how you pray when your in crisis is you just pray. You realize that your talking to a father who loves you more than anyone else. You have a conversation with your father. You be honest with him, you love him, and most of all you trust him, and you talk to him. He listens to every word you say, and you just have to trust that every word you say is precious to him and that he hears them.

I know, there are times when I've been selfish and I've been looking at porn and masturbating that I feel so far from God. Its like I'm asking him to show me the way, but at the same time I'm closing my eyes. I'm asking him for the truth, but I'm plugging my ears. Its at those times that I want to be close to him because being away from him is scary, it makes you feel almost cold for some reason. Its at those times that I do need to just sit down, close my eyes and talk to Jesus and know that my words aren't going on def ears. Just pray for forgiveness and pray to get closer to him.

I guess that's all I really can say (sorry for the book)

[Vilema]

Dave, I really struggle with this myself. My prayer life (which once flourished) has waned to near extinction. I read a book once that really shed a lot of light onto the value of prayer even when you don't feel the connection you seek. The book is called, "Too Busy Not to Pray". It's fantastic and now that I mention it, I could certainly benefit from giving it another once over. I guess the best thing is to just keep praying. May your prayer life become rich and full.

[dave]

Just passed 100 days clean of P and M but now some of the realities of life head-on have been getting me quite emotional.
Some nights I toss and turn for hours. My old friend P and M want me back but I am determined to learn to live freely without them. I have been praying at the start and end of every day and I feel closer to God than ever. It's those late nite spells that are driving me crazy. Most of them relate to getting hooked into my wife's journey. I know there is her recovery, my recovery and our recovery but I struggle with keeping the boundries clear. When I wake with my heart aching to make progress on one of our issues or one of my work challenges I can't seem to get out of the rut.
This weekend we were camping in close quarters and leaving the sleeping area was not an option. Then she worries about me. She still has trust issues and has a troubles sleep history.
I do not crave P and internet filters etc don't seem to be necessary. My challenge is how to get out of emotional stews. I seldom had these when I was using P and M.
Now they seem larger than ever - a long winded explanation of why I lat in bed praying for some relief. I try to call on God as an act of remembering that I am not alone, that God shares my burden and carries me. This all seems so logical at 11 in the morning - I wish it worked as well at 2 in the morning.
I will be patient and continue to pray for progress in this area.

[Vilema]

Ah, yes, the middle of the night wake up fretting...I had one of those sessions last night. They're miserable and you're right, it's tough to hear/feel God in those moments. But, I suspect that He's there all the same and probably those times would actually be worse without Him. I try to quote scripture to myself when that happens. One of my favorites when I'm frightened or anxious or worried is, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm, plans for a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.

[darknessarise]

Though I am not a Christian. I would love to share my experience.
I am no where near the clean period that you guys have. But I found that if you have a schedule of prayer timings that are spread out throughout the day. And if you wish to stay pure for those prayers when they come, then it helps a lot to keep clean.
But when it comes to the way we feel sometimes distant from God. I find that its only a matter of perceveirance, at first you might feel empty and your prayers might feel fray. But strive to make a connection with God. and know that he hears you and loves you. and with time you will hopefully find that you feel closer to him than ever before.
Another thing which helps me a lot is when reading scripture, I don't simply read and get the superfiicial meaning, but I try to contemplate on the true meaning of the words and how their meanings are reflected in the lives of those whom they talk about and us.

Best wishes, and God bless.

[Justaguy]

Something I used to do and I'm starting to do again (because it really worked) it to get a block of wood, nails , a hammer and a sticky pad. And every morning you cruficy pornography, because that's what Christ did, our sins were crucified with him, so its been a good strength builder to remind myself of that in the most real way I can think of.

[dave]

Went to my second SAA meeting tonight and again I felt so out of place - not that I am any better but the nature of my problem seems so different . . . . BUT my prayers have been answered. The member that I feel MOST unlike casually mentioned a counsellor that sees some SAA members and gave me her number. On the way home I called her and
1- she was available - not a message !
2- she can see me in 2 days !!
3 - as I outlined my challenges she could read my mind so to speak - I felt an immediate connection - I felt hope !!!
4 - her fees are in my range and may even be covered by my insurance co.

So all-in-all my (weak) faith has been restored - someone is watching over me. I had been desperate to get some time in with a former counsellor who is away . . . . and here another door opens for me. In addition the former counsellor that I wanted to see doesn't specialize in addictions as this new one does.
This has really restored my faith that a "Power Greater than me can restore me to sanity"
This is the first time in years that I felt like praising God. It's a shame that I doubted God was there but I need to take this as a lesson for my journey,
Thanks to all out there who have been sending prayer for me.

[TrueBlue]

I know this thread is really old, but it got me to thinking anyhow.

When I was in confirmation classes forever ago, we learned two acronyms that have stuck with me.

One was JOY, for Jesus, Others, You...representing the order in which we should be considerate. Very simple, and very easy to not do (what do you mean I come last, you know?)

The other is ACTS. It was a rubric for prayer.
Adoration
Confession
Thanksgiving
Supplication

We were taught (and I've oscillated on how much I practice this, but it does work as a base if you need help before your conversations with God are natural and not so planned out...it seems kind of silly to plan what to say to God, he knows what we are thinking, what we are minimalizing, and what we feel regardless of what we "bring" to Him afterall)

Anyhow, my sentence just got lost because of those parenthesis.

Basically the concept is that asking God for stuff should just be a part of our prayers, not the only thing we do.

I suppose a little clarification might help:

Adoration (God is great, merciful, omnipotent, etc.)
Confession (I have sinned against God as well as others/myself)
Thanksgiving (You have protected/provided/loved etc.)
Supplication (please give me this whether this is peace/help/sleep/strength/etc.)

So my prayer might go something like this:
Dear Father, I am really hurting right now. I can't forgive my husband, and my heart is full of anger. You have blessed us with this chance to grow our love and strive to reflect Your perfect image. Thank you for keeping us safe. Please help me to use the right words and please grant me Your peace. In Your name, Amen.

Peace is something I pray for often. When I don't have the words or the emotional strength to think it through, that is my go to prayer, "Father please grant me peace".

Anyways, peace, understanding, and prayers to all of you!
TrueBlue

[bombers9]

Dave - i am brand new to the forum, but wanted to congratulate you on 100+ days. To me, who has struggled to get to 5 days clean over the last few years, that is an awesome achievement.

not sure if this helps with the inevitable pressures that arise, but 100+ days is truly inspirational - seems a very, very long way off for me. i can only imagine that you have gained many benefits through that period. i am looking forward to those, and equally know that slipping back would see them ebb away.

good luck to you.

Regards


bombers