Meditation

[illumination]

I like these new forums. Funnily enough, I was just thinking about starting a 'meditation and spirituality' thread in the off-topic forum.

I don't entirely think of myself as a Buddhist because I haven't formally taken refuge, but I think it's closer than anything else. You don't have to be a Buddhist to be a Buddhist, I think. I practise Buddhist meditation a lot and try to practice mindfulness during daily life. I also try quite seriously to live according to the five precepts - to refrain from taking life, taking what is not freely given, sexual misconduct, harmful speech, and taking intoxicants.

I think using porn contradicts most of those. It contradicts the principle of not taking life because it involves thinking of other human beings as objects, which is the mindset of taking life. I certainly consider it sexual misconduct, for the same reason. And it is also an intoxicant.

Powerful intoxicants like porn keep us in a distracted state, cut off from self-awareness, which is the opposite of how we want to be according to Buddhist spirituality, which is all about awareness. Trying to become aware of oneself when indulging in an addiction makes us realise how degrading and unpleasant it is. This is a strong motivation to try and stop.

The successful techniques I found for staying away from porn were based on what I have learned from meditation. The key to it was recognising when images were arising in my mind and bringing my attention back to my physical body and the immediate environment I am in.

Meditation is the foundation of my life and over the years it has totally transformed my consciousness.

[Little lock]

Hmm..I am a buddhist but I have never tried meditation before. I think I give it a shot. Thanks illumination!

[Vorlan]

I have to agree with you there Illumination on the value of meditation. My meditation was more Pagan than Buddhist but I think they are very similar if not exactly the same. Meditation I think was one of the tools which helped me to break my PA and depression on m darker days last summer. Thankfully I have not slipped quite as low as I did then since. Basically I couldn't recommend meditation more, it helps with sorting out your thoughts and building self control in all parts of life and it feels really great if you meditate for a really long time. You start to feel more at peace with yourself and the world. So anyone who hasn't tried it do so! It doesn't take long and you won't regret it!

Thanks for the post Illumination,

Ben

[illumination]

Yes, I totally agree. Having the foundation of a meditation practice, in whatever tradition (including devotional ones like Christianity) gives life the background of a path of spiritual development, and our recovery from addictions can be seen as part of that path towards resolving the root of all addictions, which is selfishness - from a Buddhist point of view, the false belief that gratifying our cravings will make us happy.

Having said that, since I sustained a fractured finger in somewhat traumatic circumstances, my practice has slackened off a lot, partly because I have been living with my girlfriend temporarily while I recover (maybe a fractured finger doesn't sound like much but most basic life activities require 2 hands). I'm moving back to my own place today so I should be getting back on track with it.

[futurehope]

Ah...I see...I just found this thread. I am also a buddhist (zen), and the meditation practice is a very important thing for me to observe what is going on with the addiction, and the beliefs that I have around it. A few days ago I formally took the precepts in a public ceremony (called Jukai). We take sixteen precepts, including one about sexual misconduct. So I have now formally and publicly promised to refrain from sexual misconduct, and for me that includes P use. I feel good about this...it's a fresh start, and I'll be working with my issues rather than trying to find ways to avoid them.

Meditation isn't a quick fix for me, but it seems to take the edge off the craving....to see that I don't really "need" this thing. Sometimes the craving just completely disappears during meditation, and that's really nice, but you can't force that to happen. I just try to be present with what comes up and really allow it to be, without grasping or pushing things away. My teacher calls this "opening the hand of thought".

[bananaman]

I've just started getting interested in Buddhist ideas and meditation, I'm reading the Tibetan book of living and dying at the moment and finding it really interesting.

I wondered if any of you have any advice on the best ways to learn meditation? Good web sites or books perhaps... just down the road from me is a Buddhist centre where I think they have guided meditation, maybe that's a good idea?

Thanks

[futurehope]

Sounds like a good start. It's good to get some instruction about the best sitting posture to use, and so on.

[Searching4peace]

I wondered if any of you have any advice on the best ways to learn meditation? Good web sites or books perhaps... just down the road from me is a Buddhist center where I think they have guided meditation, maybe that's a good idea?

Thanks

Meditation can mean different things to different people, and it's all about what works best for you. There is no "wrong" way of doing it. The idea behind meditation is to focus your mind, or in some cases to loose all sense of focus...

I start by clearing my mind of anything, you'll find that this is difficult to do so I go to my "happy place". My happy place is a place I've never been IRL but I imagine it being the area of Ireland that my ancestors are from a large field of wild grass overlooking the ocean with a clear blue sky with the sound of the ocean beating against the cliffs...to me this is relaxing and soothing...

I then spend some time just being...the idea of seeking stillness in your own mind and body...to sit comfortably or in the traditional lotus form with legs crossed and hands in many diff positions from chakra alignment to middle and thumb fingers touching in an upraised position...it's really about your comfort...you can even meditate laying down....just be comfortable

I try to do mental exercises and mantra chants...like focusing on a ball of white or what ever color represents happy for you....starting in the pit of my being...I then fill this ball with all the love I have...love for self love for god love for others...I mentally imagine this ball growing to the point that it overcomes my body...in essence enveloped in this ball of pure love "god love"...

Then I focus this ball of love onto someone that has caused me harm...hurt...sadness...anything other than love...I see this ball traveling from me with all my love to this person or thing...In essence combatting it with love. This has worked well for me in forgiving those that have harmed me like my father, or husband with his pa.

I also turn this around and send this "god love" to those that I love to uplift them...I've even spent hours at a time seeing this "god Love" envelope the world as I know it...a way for me to send something of me out to the world to better it.

I don't know if this will come across as cheezy but it works for me...I always finish my meditation with a yoga position that is laying completly still focusing on your breathing, "in the nose out the mouth" centering myself.

Remember though the entire timme you meditate it's important to focus your breathing, that helps to center the body and get o2 flowing which premotes healing and blood flow.

Peace and love,
Crys

[iNeedtoStop99]

Bananaman, I'm not necessarily a great advert for meditation or Buddhism, as I consier myself to be a Buddhist and have meditated quite a bit over the last couple of years and I'm only now coming to accept that I am a PA. Having said that, it's probably meditation that has kept me almost sane.
Anyway, you asked for advice on the best way to learn meditation. In my opinion if you can find a local meditation group, that's probably the best way to get started. There are groups in most big towns these days. The alternative is that you download guided meditations from the web. I know of a few good ones, but I'm not sure that posting addresses of religious sites would be considered acceptable. You can google "buddist guided meditation" or send me a private message. Good luck. By the way you don't have to be a Buddhist to use Buddhist meditation techniques

[Paul James]

Bananaman, my penny's worth!

I've found "Luminous Emptiness" by Francesca Freemantle helpful. It's a commentary on the Tibetan Book of the Dead (Bardo Thodol). If I'm tempted to P, visualising the Wrathful Dakinis helps - but some people might consider that a bit drastic!

Sorry to hear about your relapse - I wrote the above before I looked at your last post and maybe it'll help - or maybe not.

I also think forward to how I will feel afterwards. I've only got 3 weeks clean and could slip tomorrow, so don't take anything I say as gospel

Success and strength!

Paul.