Buddhists in Recovery

[JanJ]

Here are a couple links re Buddhism and guilt. I note a large overlap with certain Christian approaches, as in the 12 Steps. The emphasis is on a) being responsible and moral, and 2) taking constructive steps where an error has been made:

Anderson Brown's Philosophy Blog: Buddhism and Guilt ####

Anderson Brown (Philosophy professor)

1) Buddhism is primarily a preventive approach to wrongdoing, rather than a curative one. This is wise: much better to prevent bad things from happening than to have to deal with them once they have happened (a failure to recognize this is, maybe, the main problem with modern medicine, for example). Someone who cultivates the discipline to follow the Eight-Fold Path will, to the extent that they succeed, succeed also in doing no wrong. Basic Buddhist teachings are primarily aimed at cultivation of right being. They do not tend to dwell on atonement and expiation. [...]




For ourselves, we can learn from our transgressions. We can meditate and become more mindful of the necessity of right action, right speech, and the other elements of the Path. There is nothing magical or mysterious about this. There is nothing mysterious or magical about Buddhism, at all; that is a very important point. For others we have wronged, I have only humble suggestions:

1) Atonement through concrete actions of restitution, when possible. Quotidian examples: returning stolen property, repairing or paying for damage, admitting lies and telling the truth. Replacing antagonistic actions with supportive actions.

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Dalai Lama Answers Questions on Various Topics (Dalai Lama)

Q: What are the ten virtuous acts spoken of in Buddhism?

A: Three concern the body: one must not kill, steal, or engage in sexual misconduct. Four others are verbal: do not lie, defame others, speak offensive words, or engage in frivolous conversation, which relates to everything that might be said under the influence of afflicting emotions. Finally, the last three virtuous acts are of a mental nature: do not develop covetousness or malice and, finally, do not hold false or perverted views, such as the extreme view, close to nihilism, which totally denies spiritual perfection.

What we mean by "erroneous views" generally includes absolutist, eternalist, and nihilistic views. But in the context of the ten virtuous acts, only nihilistic views are implicated. It is therefore on the basis of a lifestyle disciplined by ethics that one abstains from committing the contrary acts, the ten non-virtuous acts. When faced with a situation where you might possibly commit such negative acts, you abstain from committing them. A life rooted in ethics has at its foundation the abandonment of the ten non-virtues in favour of the practice of their opposites.

Q: If we have committed a serious negative act, how can we let go of the feeling of guilt that may follow?

A: In such situations, where there is a danger of feeling guilty and therefore depressed, the Buddhist point of view advises adopting certain ways of thinking and behaving which will enable you to recover your self-confidence. A Buddhist may reflect on the nature of the mind of. a Buddha, on its essential purity, and in what way disturbing thoughts and their subsequent emotions are of an entirely different nature. Because such disturbing emotions are adventitious, they can be eliminated. To think of the immense well of potential hidden deep within our being, to understand that the nature of the mind is fundamental purity and kindness and to meditate on its luminosity, will enable you to develop self-confidence and courage.
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Another very informative and friendly site:

How to deal with guilt and regret - NewBuddhist (Zen)


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Guilt (Tibetan) #####

ANTIDOTES TO GUILT


// "When we meditate, things from the past come up, and we have to work with them. We may remember times when we treated others horribly--hurting their feelings, deceiving them, repaying their kindness with spite, manipulating them, cheating them. While regret for these actions is appropriate and necessary to purify these karmas, we often fall into guilt and shame instead. Guilt and shame are obstacles to overcome on the path, because they keep us trapped in our self-centered melodrama entitled "How Bad I Am." Regret, on the other hand, realizes that we erred, leads us to purify, and motivates us to refrain from acting like that in the future.
How do we counteract guilt and shame? One way is to recognize that the person who did that action no longer exists. You are different now. Is the person who did that action five years ago the same person you are now? If she were exactly the same person, you would still be doing the same action. The present "you" exists in a continuum from that person, but is not exactly the same as her. Look back at the person you were with compassion. You can understand the suffering and confusion she was experiencing that made her act in that way."//

From Cultivating a Compassionate Heart: The Yoga Method of Chenrezig by Bhikshuni Thubten Chodron

ANTIDOTE 1 - Reflect on responsibility. Often it may prove it is/was not my responsibility or fault! Blaming oneself for everything negative that happens is a form of ignorance and self-centredness. Obviously, if I am careless and intended to cause problems, then I should take my responsibility and see to it that I will not repeat this regrettable action. Instead, maybe I can do something to make up for it.

[JanJ]

Hello to all interested in Buddhism.

To follow up my post above, it's worth point out that the approach of AA, and of Bill W in particular has much in common with Buddhism: He said, in the Big Book,
The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.

Unless one’s family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual
principles we think we ought not to urge them. We
should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters.
They will change in time. Our behavior will convince
them more than our words.

We must remember that ten or twenty years of drunkenness
would make a skeptic out of anyone.
There may be some wrongs we can never fully right.
We don’t worry about them if we can honestly say to
ourselves that we would right them if we could.

p.84

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First overlap is the emphasis on taking up proper practices, new patterns of behavior; this matters more than any
talk or (admissions of) feelings of having done wrong, etc.


The second is about the feeling of guilt, which, he suggests (as I understand it) is a guide; if our behavior (action) is right, and if all that can be done, has been done, including amends, reparation, repentance, and changed pattern of living, then we do well to let go of it. Pre-occupying onself with it can only lead to self hate and various untoward behaviors, including our compulsions, for example, in the sexual area.

[PER50NA]

one of the things that has made a world of difference for me was everything on dependent origination I cant even begin to express how much of an impact that alone has had