for religious people: Is P less sinful than sx

[Daniel]

I am now porn free for 39 days and to me personally, porn is wrong and is a misuse of the gifts we have been given. whether you believe in God or not, the bible or not, Jesus or not - porn is wrong on many levels - period.

This is one aspect of the power we have at TTF and I believe it is to be celebrated. We come from many backgrounds and have many worldviews, but firmly united in the journey to overcome PA.

jrock -you perfectly encapsulated the thought with your post, thank you!

Daniel

[Daniel]

I'm not Christian but I'm pretty sure the Bible condemns pornography at least indirectly here:

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).

jrock,

You said you were not sure if P was wrong, specifically a sin, "if you're single" while at the same time you personally believe life is better without it. I definitely agree with the latter.

When I was single, and a Christian, and just realizing that I was addicted to P, I often wondered if it was "OK" for me to use P rather than be sxually gratified with a female I was not married to. I used a very humanistic rationalization (bad) that said

"Well, P is bad but sx outside of marriage is worse. Therefore I will resist both but if I do give in, it will be to P not to sx outside of marriage."

Of course the best course of action is to focus on Jesus Christ and His perfection and offer of salvation, not on the best way to sin the least!

I wanted to re-post a Scripture Vorlan already used to show that Christ taught it was sinful to think about sxual acts with someone else. Additionally in Exodus God specifically said to not "covet your neighbor's wife" (Ex 20:17).

Believe me, when I first understood that Jesus raises the bar infinitely high in Matthew 5-7 (the "Sermon on the Mount"), it left me feeling what I was supposed to feel -totally unable to 'get there' under my own power!

Daniel

[debv]

J-rock, you're right. This gets off the main topic of the thread, but I think it's pertinent that supporting the P industry is supporting the exploitation of the P actresses in particular, but probably the actors too. I've done a lot of reading about P actresses lately and the lives they really lead. They are usually supplied drugs and alcohol before a shoot, even though it's illegal, to assure they will comply with the s3xual demands made on them. They are also threatened with having to pay a cancellation fee for the shoot if they refuse to perform as demanded. So oftentimes they are consenting to the shoot only under great duress, and sometimes even then they aren't consenting at all but the shoot goes on. They are physically damaged by the s3xual demands made on them, and they catch STDs, yeast infections, and UTIs regularly because of the physical demands made on them. They are also greatly psychologically damaged. P actors and acresses both have a drastically shortened life expectancy compared to the general population.

We don't condone sweatshop labor, we don't condone dangerous working conditions that put workers at physical risk, we don't condone exploitation of workers, particularly children, in overseas manufacturing plants. Why? Because it's wrong to exploit and harm workers in the name of profit. It's just as wrong to condone it in the P industry. That's yet another reason that P is wrong.

[Dewvis]

I have a few thoughts about people who have religious reasons for not having sx with their girlfriend or boyfriend so they use P instead.

You pretty much described me. I was raised very religious and always used porn since a young age. I never learned to interact with females due to shyness. I had some girlfriends but could never sike myself up enough to have any kind of sex, I always broke up with them and ran back to porn.

I think porn is a worse sin than premarital sex. At least premarital sex is relational, porn is not. Premarital sex could lead to a relationship, it can create life, porn cannot.

I'm still religious in my way, but if I had kids I'd probably bring them up less strict than i was. I would hope that they wouldn't be so scared of sex as I was. I'd rather they be able to form relationships, even if it involves premarital sex, than for them to end up like me turning to porn instead.

[Dewvis]

This is one aspect of the power we have at TTF and I believe it is to be celebrated. We come from many backgrounds and have many worldviews, but firmly united in the journey to overcome PA.

I am glad i found this site. It is so much better hearing other perspectives concerning porn addiction other than religious perspectives.

Trying to overcome porn addiction solely for God hasn't worked for me. I think I also need to to do it for myself.

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

Dewvis-

Thanks for your comments. I too was raised very religious and though I didn't turn to P, I had my own hangups about premarital sx. I raise my children less strictly. They know the deal, the older one anyway. But, they have to choose for themselves what they will do and if they have sx without being married, its not the worst thing in the world. I willlove them no matter what... just like God will.

I think you said it perfectly when you said this:
"At least premarital sex is relational, porn is not. Premarital sex could lead to a relationship, it can create life, porn cannot."

Good luck in your journey.

[boris]

Lot's of food for thought, WONLM!

Using P/Mb so as not to commit fornication is just trading one sin for another. Strictly speaking, fornication is defined as the manipulation of the genitals for s*xual gratification of anyone other than one's marriage mate. This would include all forms of s*xual contact, not just intercourse, not just between humans, but including animals as well. P/Mb would not fall into this category, since it is a individual act. However it is still considered moral uncleanness and a defilement of the flesh, and thus a sinful.

The rationale that it's better than committing fornication is false. It's all wrong. there is no virtue in doing one to avoid the other. Anyone using that line of reasoning is
looking for a loophole, and you'd best get out of the relationship before making the mistake of marriage.

WONLM: I agree that substituting P/Mb out of supposed "respect" for your partner's religious beliefs, is wrong and disrespectful and dishonest. However according to scripture, s*x between two people in a loving, committed relationship is still wrong. God's greatest commandment is to love, not fornicate; and while he is forgiving, God only forgives those who repent and stop sinning. So in either case it's wrong, according to scripture.

That said, from a philosophical standpoint, a loving committed relationship between two people who respect each other, is better than one with someone who is selfishly indulging in P/Mb and disrespecting their innocent partner.

Be well,
Boris