I'm trying to stop this madness

[Dane]

Dear diary:

I'm a 24 year old guy from Norway.
Here is a post I made on this forum:
Someone, please help me!

Don't need to type in everything again.

I so badly want to quit. But in the same time, so badly want to look at it.
I am actually, at this very second, thinking about looking at porn after making this post.
I really don't see any light in the end of my tunnel, I've tried so many times for no many
years. But I'll try again... Just like last weak, and the weak before, and the month before and the year before...

It's june the first, so it's an easy date to remember! I hope I can go to bed tonight
without having to watch porn and masturbate first. But I'm not shure if I can...

I hope you guys in here can help me! And I don't hope I tomorrow, have forgotten about this page and my posts and reading in herre.

Good night

[Dane]

The email I've registred here, is an adress I've used for porn.
It ain't the email I use daily.

I just emptied my inbox so I don't have any more passwords left!
I hope thats a good thing.

[Cobalt]

Welcome!

It's hard for me to say exactly how to stop. I just did, there wasn't really another way for me. I couldn't keep hurting my fiance, so I quit.

I'm sure someone else here can give you better advice than I have, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm around.

Here's to finding a way.
-Cobalt

[Dane]

Thank you very much! I don't want to keep on hurting my lovley whife eather...
I shure need someone to talk to

Thank you a lot!

[Dane]

Just a quick in to say that I went to sleep last night without watching porn first! Pjuh...

[Dane]

Dear diary:

So far, so good. Lots of times today, thoughts have poped into my mind, but I keep on sweaping them away. And now, my whife is taking a shower. Usually I would get right on the computer to have a quick MB to P (I've learned the "codes" here) , but I'm not.

To right a journal sounds like a good idea to me!

I AM GOING TO MAKE IT THIS TIME!!!

[AnxiouslyEngaged]

Hey, Dane! Good to have you here at TTF. This is certainly the right place to come for a new beginning. Here you'll find many people struggling with the same issues you face. We're all a little different as to how we got where we are and the way we deal with our issues, but there are so many startling similarities that it makes it well worth your while to come here every day and read what others have been through and are going through, and, exactly like you are doing, post in your journal to keep a record of your progress.

It's an incredibly difficult thing to do--getting rid of pornography. I have never tried to do anything that is so difficult, and at which I have failed so very frequently.

There is only one all-encompassing thing to remember, and that is that the only way to succeed is to never, ever, EVER give up. You have to keep fighting, and you have to be willing to do anything and everything in your power to change and kick your addictive behavior. Without absolute resolve and a willingness to get up when you fall down, your addiction will win. But it's possible. There are those here that have succeeded far beyond what many of us thought possible before we read their stories.

I would recommend making a list here, in your journal, of all of your "triggers," those things that make you want to look at porn, or those situations you find yourself in that lead you to that behavior. Then, when you've got that list (and you'll add to it for a long time, as new things become clear), make a list of things you will or will not do in order to counter those triggers and prevent yourself from being exposed to needless temptation.

Good luck, Dane. We'll be here, fighting right alongside you.

AE

[Dane]

Thank you so much! I can't believe this forum actually exists!
And you guys are amazing! You really seem to care and I think that will be important to me in this process! Thank you thank you thank you!

It's now june 4 and it's been three days without P, ore MB to P. It is going really well so far! And the thought of "letting you guys down" really makes me want to do this!

You recomended me to right a list, so here it is:
(I'm shure I will add things to it later)

List:
- Being home alone! Just the thought of it, makes me want to MB to P.
And it don't need to be a whole day, just an hour ore two.

- I see some pritty, lightly clothed girl on tv. Can be commercial or whatever.

- Being on the internet. Lots of temptations there offcourse.

- I work out a lot, so at my gym there are lots of beutiful people with smashing bodies!

- I go outside and I see a beautiful girl, specially here in the summer when the
clothes just get smaller and smaller.

- When I can't get to sleep because of my RLS (restless legs syndrom).

- When I'm tired, sick, sad etc... It makes me think of something else.

- When I'm in the store to shope and I get a glimpse of the P magazines even I try not to do.


I'm shure the list goes on, but that's all I can think of.


Thank you guys for cearing!

[Dane]

Day 5 and still sober! No problems so far

[Vorlan]

Great work so far Dane, a belated welcome btw, you're taking some great steps towards beating your addiction. Congratulations on 5 days sober!

Keep up the good fight!

Best Wishes,

Ben