I'm trying to stop this madness

[Dane]

Originally Posted by Dane

Pjuh, that was close!

I can't sleep now, so I'm sitting here on my computer (I know that's a bad idea) and I suddenly got this big urge for mb to p.
I allmost did it, really really almost, but I didn't!

So close... So close, but still sober!

Even tho... Last night ended with a relapse..
BUT, I made it 22 days this time, and thats a new record!
So now I'm ready to brek that record

[Dane]

I'm now on day three.
All good

[Dane]

Typical...
We just got satelite tv and the package we ordered was the "family package". Including no porn!

But offcourse, the company that brings the channels, did a mistake and gave uss the entertain package with two porn chanels.
So I was zapping through the channels now and then I came across those two channels.. And I couldn't leave them.
So, again... I had a relapse..

But I've told the company about the mistake (even tho I'm only paying for the family package), so I hope the channels will go away soon!

Day 0, soon day 1...

[Dane]

8 days sober!
No temptations so far

[Dane]

Dear diary:
Just had a relapse...

I really hate that the cablecompany did the misstake giving us two pornchannels on tv that we havn't paid for! I've told them about it, and they said they'll go away soon, but tonight I couldn't ressist the temptation.
And we wheren't supose to even have these channels!

I feel really upset now.. I was doing so well and all. Havn't thought about p in a week ore so, and then... Just because I all of a sudden have free porn on my tv.

...

[brokensoul]

just keep with it yesterday my wife was watching a movie
it was a comedy about beer fest we were talking and i was looking at the screen tops started to come off i just told her i had to go out side
i just knew if i stayed it would bring back old thoughts
and i sometimes have thoses thought come into my mind but after the weeks i've worked to clean out those thoughts
i don't need or want to give them battery back-up
keep working at being p free
don't give in

[Dane]

Thank you broken!
What a great thing you did there.

I know I will mannage to quit my p addiction, and I'm doing pritty well so far I think. I wach p SO MUCH LESS no and that's a great thing. P is definetly a smaller thing in my life now.

And then it's so anoying when I get p channels I havn't payd for.
A couple of month's ago I would be sooo happy for those two channels, but I think I've done good saying it to the company so they can take them away

Still sober sins last post by the way

[Dane]

9 days sober

[Daniel]

Dane,

Greetings and hang in there! You are noticing how you feel better, think better, and realize how much better your life will be without P. Blowing it, failing, falling off the wagon, whatever you want to call it, it's a hard thing. But we've all been there. Before I "got serious" about breaking the addiction I'll bet I stopped and started P again maybe 10,000 times in 31 years.

BUT, once I was serious, understood the harm and destruction, tired of the guilt and shame and pain inflicted on others, then the War was real.

Forward by inches if that's what it takes. You're coming along. Hang tough in the fight!

Daniel

[Dane]

Thank you so much Daniel for your words!
I have had p in my life for so many years, but I have never understood how bad it is for me. But things are getting clearer now these days
I'm now 13 days sober and I really really want to break my record (22 days). I kind of think that I've allready won a big piece of this battle because p is now a so much smaller piece of my life! Normaly it would be about four times a week, but now it can be two ore three weeks between every time and that's really something!
My cable company is informed about my p-channels on my tv and yesterday they dissapared! So now, I've got NO pornchannels on my tv!

Dane