Iblivin4givinru's Recovery Journal -
05-31-2008, 12:18 AM
i dont have much to say, only that i am addicted to porn and like god says that pleauser will only last as long as it stays. i do not know why i keep doing it and i do have hobbies i work out and hang with many friends i feel like i am being stabbed in the back or im stabbing family members in the back everytime i look at it but it is so hard to stop i have tried many things
plz all i would ask is that soemone out there plz respond to this i need much help
god bless,
Wendell
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to iblivin4givinru For This Useful Post:
Welcome to the place where we all went or are going through the same thing as you! I know the desperation and guilt you feel, (read my journal) it feels like its impossible to stop, but with the Lord nothing is impossible. Now how dedicated are you to really make that happen? How much do you want for this to end? If enough, you will find what you seek, but first you have to make the concrete decision, the battle is unrelentless, but don’t let that discourage you, it gets easier, its just getting over the hump is what’s hard. Have faith, pray and the Lord will help you. Keep a journal on this forum and we will all support you and help you always.
The Following User Says Thank You to slave For This Useful Post:
You can beat PA but you have to start taking action. Write down everything that triggers you, no matter how trivial it may seem. Then write down what you are going to do to counter those triggers. Your faith is a tool that will help you succeed but you need to take action yourself. Take things one day at a time, the first day is usually the hardest.
The best of luck,
Ben
"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb." - Sir Winston Churchill
The Following User Says Thank You to Vorlan For This Useful Post:
As a the girlfriend of a recovering PA, I don't really know how valuable I can be, but I can certainly try to provide you with some inspirational motivation that I've given friends before when they needed it:
1. Think of a girl. It can someone you are friends with, someone you have a crush on, or a significant other. Think of your ideal relationship, or think of someone else's relationship you view as "perfect." Does that kind of relationship involved porn or incessant fantasies of other people? Most people don't consider porn an acceptable part of the "ideal" relationship, so you can use that relationship as the gold standard and strive for it.
2. Remind yourself of the man you want to be at all times. It is hard to recover, I think, because men lose sight of their goals, what they want to become. I have to remind my boyfriend all the time of the man he was when we met, so that he remembers what he is striving for.
3. I don't know if this would work for you, but it sometimes helps my boyfriend. Think about other people's opinions of it, especially your role models. Remind yourself what they would tell you, advice they would give or anything to help.
4. Someone above me probably already said it, but I think this has had the single-most powerful effect of any on my boyfriend. Read stuff about it-- articles (see articles section of this site), news, opinions on both sides. After reading about the absolute disasters of relationships people were left with after porn addiction, my boyfriend was hell-bent on change. He saw how men's partners often had their lives destroyed by porn addiction, to the point where they were struggling financially, regretting pregnancies, praying for their own deaths, and loads of other ungodly situations I can't even begin to describe. He couldn't imagine how men could do that to women they loved... and he suddenly saw it in me. If you can relate to the consequences of the addiction, I think it helps a lot.
Finally, I wish my boyfriend had thought of that as a teenager too! How did you come to the conclusion that you needed to quit? I think very highly of you for going through with this, because so many teenagers write it off as "normal" behavior, which it well may be, but that doesn't make it morally sound. Because of that type of thinking, my boyfriend suffered from addiction for eight or nine years. Trust me when I say this, when you conquer your addiction, you will be so proud, as well as an indispensable asset to the male gender. I know many girls that don't even believe P-free males exist, so they just settle for the lesser of all evils.
Again, I give you all my support, and I know you can do this. I also think you have to be confident, so remember that at least you caught it early... some people wait until it is too very late! Good luck
We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
first off i would like to give all thanks too everyone who has encouraged me i havent felt the erge to do anything like that for 2 days, also to jasmine i am a godly person but i have been looking at way to much P and i said to my self that it was time to stop
i love that you think highly of me cause that makes me feel better about myself in all ways keep posting helpful things and i will check daily!!!
Much Thanks,
Wendell
The Following User Says Thank You to iblivin4givinru For This Useful Post:
Major Relaspe Need More Support!! -
06-02-2008, 07:17 PM
Looks like i did not get the support i needed, i have a relapse and not a small one, i looked at P and MB again but not once but 4 times in the past 3 days, i guess it is less of a relapse but more of degrading the fact that P is just so disgusting that people would degrade themselves enough to make money from being a P star that is just gross and i hate it, i would love that more of you people would reply to this so i can use it to my advantage it would be amazing if you or other people can help me alot i would grately appreicate it.
So, you relapsed! Ok, you'll let the guilt get to you! That shame eat away at you, to the point to where you say, FARK IT, I can't do this!!!!!!!
I know, I do the same at times!!!!
Well, that's the easy way out!
Everyday is a test, however, there are no right or wrong answers to this test! So then, how can you know if you did good on the test! Well, you alone would be the only one to know, cause your the one who's writing the test, and taking it! See what I mean here? You're in control of your life, and no one else! However, your still young enough, that you need to also understand, that counsel from others, parents, friends, teachers, is very important to take in at this time! Infact, this holds true throught life!!!
Don't take the whole, I control my life to the extreme, that you begin to dis others opinion and criticism! A fool is someone who does not listen to council!
You, are in light here, not a fool, cause you seek wisdom, and support from others!
So, back to the PA thing! I agree with Foolishmind, that you need a plan of action! Wouldn't it be a better feeling in the long run, to look back on your life and say, I didn't give my life to P, but to my friends, family members, and neighbors?
Go for it! The key is in your hands!
Listen to Lynard Skynards, Simple Man! I like to look for inspiration in music when I'm donw!
Keep going! A war is made up of different battels! Remember, the war isn't over, until one side concides!
i have to say thanks for all your guys help. i have not looked at any porn or masterbated in around 5 days, i have had support from many of you people but i still embrase and think about the temptation some times but i overcome it
i will start to keep a journal of all the temptations i get so stay up to date guys and thanks for your support
good job wendell. I know the support here is amazing, it sure has helped me out. Before I was clean for just over 4 months (of course I slipped up, but big woop, it happens). Just make sure that if ever it does happen, you need to step back and take a look at yourself saying, "don't get down, whats 1 mistake as apposed to being clean for 5 or 6 days. Last I checked 5 or 6 days is greater than 1 day. So keep going, keep looking forward.
Why do we fall? So that we might learn to pick ourselves up.
- Alfred (Batman Begins)
Iblivin4givinru's Recovery Journal -
05-31-2008, 12:18 AM
Major Relaspe Need More Support!! -
06-02-2008, 07:17 PM
Linear Mode
