We_Are_The_Fire's new journal

[We_Are_The_Fire]

Started a journal a year and a half ago, gave up after a week. This was mostly due to me thinking that P and M were perfectly normal for a young 20 year old male. That might be true, but almost daily P and M since the age of 13 is definitely not normal behaviour. I now see that P abuse has made me more anti-social and unable to treat women in a proper manner (which explains why I have never had a girlfriend, ever).Unfortunately I don't think I will ever be able to get rid of P out of my life, but I do hope to limit it somehow. Hopefully tomorrow will be P-free, and if I do get an urge I hope to remember to post on TTF and convince myself that there are better things in life!

Oh and good luck to everyone else

Last time I watched P: 22/02/2012

[Mac]

Well WATF
P may be perfectly normal but that doesn't mean it's right. Actually nothing could be farther from the truth even though it has become far to normal.
Really that statement just smells a lot like the age old " well everybody does it"
That doesn't hold water here at TTF.
What may be true, is normal adolescent hormones and curiosity, but a young man hold up dialy using P and MB as you say is anything but normal.
You say you don't feel like you will ever be able to give up completely. Well trying to limit its use is like an alcoholic just limiting his drinking. Absolutely will not work. THis is an all or nothing thing here.
This is something that generally cannot be done on your own. All kinds of support here, there are 12 step programs out there as well as councilling, but the first thing that you need to do is commit to doing something about this for yourself. I am not feeling much of a commitment in your post. You sound pretty much resigned to P as your destiny. Not much of a step towards any kind of recovery.
Save yourself, pick recovery

Good luck
Mac

[fightingdefeat]

Hey WATF,

Although I'm new here, I'll extend a welcome back. :) Glad to see you back here... It shows that you do recognize the problems in P and that it is actually an addiction.

Like Mac has said though, I really encourage you as well to really evaluate what you are coming to do. I commend you in wanting to take a step and fight this, but take the next step and really fight this -- it is possible to completely get rid of it, albeit hard. Just because much of our society engages in P does not equate it to be right or healthy. It is a lie that society and our culture has bought and re-sold.

Like you say -- there are much better things in life. Life is too short to waste on P.

The road ahead is tough to take. It takes a lot of work. Will bring you to tears and rip you up inside if you stumble. BUT it is a road that you can choose to take. It is a choice that will take effort, but will bring about wonderful reward and self satisfaction. It's the you that you are meant to be -- and it's for the taking if you are willing to work. It's worth it.

Best of luck and I look forward to hearing more from you. :)

FD

[2frustrated]

Weaning yourself off makes sense with cigarettes or medication, but not with p. Using the gasoline-fire analogy, the strength of a fire can't be weaned down by throwing some gas on it one day, then a little less gas the next, and so on. Any gasoline at all enflames the power of the fire. Obviously, even if you do decide to go that route, we're all still here to support you. Remember that.

[We_Are_The_Fire]

Thanks for the replies guys, the sense of community here is a why I joined this forum!Very insightful post Mac, thanks for tearing apart my post lol. But yes everything you say is absolutely true, it's just that I was feeling particularly down when I wrote that post and I didn't want to set my expectations/goals too high. About to go to bed now and no P today, plus tomorrow is going to be a really busy day so hopefully it will be a two-in-a-row! The danger zone will be tomorrow evening before bed, which is when I hope to post on TTF. Anyway, later gents

[We_Are_The_Fire]

3 days so far, now to study throughout the weekend and make it a 5!

[Teemo]

WATF,

Welcome back to TTF! I know you are unsure how much of this addiction is "normal". For now, I hope you will focus on the nature of addiction. What I mean is, it doesn't matter too much how normal something may be, or how harmful something may be, if we are addicted to it. Addiction grows, and eventually takes over our lives. It forces us to keep secrets, and make choices we don't want to make, to keep feeding it. It takes away our integrity, our character. We cannot live well when we are continually giving in to an addiction. Although sexual desire is good and "normal," my addiction to p and mb is not. I intend to recover, and that means the behavior has to go. Can I face the future without this behavior that has been part of my life for so long? Yes. It is not easy, but it is the only way I can have a life that is free and full and worth living.

[Quiet1]

Don't give up hope on finding someone to love and respect you.

Porn lowers your chances and skews your goals of finding someone that will love you unconditionally.

If you condition your body to only respond to yourself and fantasies, you may find yourself unable to be satisfied when the really perfect girl comes along.

If you keep it secret, it can lead to other secrets.

Good luck on your efforts.

Be selfish and realize that this is not just about treating women in the proper, it is about treating yourself in the proper manner.

[We_Are_The_Fire]

A P free weekend, feels good man

The following week is going to be super busy for me, better keep my guard up and focus!
Good luck to the rest of TFF

[We_Are_The_Fire]

No urges today, now back to studying.