Fell but getting back up.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Day 24.

A few urges this morning. Hanging tough. One month goal is in sight and I really like that. In some ways the time has gone quickly. In others, things have gone along at a snail's pace.

Not much else to report. Happy to be here!

Make it a great day everyone!

Yours in the bond of healing,

BestShot

Glad to see you are doing well my friend. 24 days is a HUGE number for us addicts. Just remember in getting to that One month goal, we still need to do it, one day at a time, one step at a time. As long as we just keep moving one foot in front of the other in the right direction, we can do great in our recovery, and be that much closer to a lifetime of freedom from this crap.

Jeep up with the great work you are doing in your recovery. we all feel your happiness as we read here in your journal. Good luck to you my friend

Your fellow addict in recovery
Gerald

[BestShot]

Letting everyone know that I have reached the One Month Mark. I am very excited about it but wow....what a long road ahead. It is certainly the journey that never ends. That being said, best to focus on the journey and learn as much as possible, as opposed to focusing on the victories and defeats.

One day at a time adds up!

Thanks for everybody's support. Especially my accountability partner!! You are the man!

Yours in the bond of healing,

BestShot

[BestShot]

One Month and 2 days...

Things are going well. I am proud of my accomplishments up to this point. Setting my sights on 2 months but am still going to take it one day at a time.

Busy day ahead and a much needed vacation coming up in a few weeks!

Yours in the bond of healing,

BestShot

[fightingdefeat]

Way to go man! Keep up the good work and like you say, just keep taking it one day at a time! :)

[BestShot]

One Month, 2 days, part TWO.

NEED COFFEE! Feeling good as I move into the later morning hours. There is still a nagging for "something" tugging at my gut. I can only imagine it is the "P" but I know it is being brought on by stress. Just a lot of things going on and I am tired. So, being aware of this will help me to stay strong. Coffee is ready!!!!

Yours in the bond of healing,

BestShot

[BestShot]

One month, 2 days, part THREE: I figure I might as well post as much as I possibly can when I have the time. It has been a good day. No real "P" thoughts this afternoon. Went to the gym and worked hard. Now eating lunch. Will be busy the rest of the day and that means I will definitely make it to tomorrow!!!!

Yours in the bond of healing,

BestShot

[BestShot]

One month, One week, and One Day :)

Well, it has been a while since I have written. All is still on track. I have to say that I have had some urges in the last week or so. Some strong. There is definitely a link to urges and stress. Life has been very busy (for a long time now). I shouldn't complain because there are so many people out of work and my business is doing extremely well. At the same time, I am tired and mildly stressed out. My wife and I will be taking a vacation soon. About 12 days worth. Hopefully, we won't work too much on vacation. That's the down side of owning your own business...work is always there.

Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still doing well. I hope all of you are gaining strength in this tough battle!

Yours in the bond of healing,

BestShot

[BestShot]

Well, I am still "P" free but this morning has been incredibly difficult. I had to make a choice....look at "P" or come here and write. Uhhhggg. I don't know why the urges are so strong but it must be the stress. It may also be the fact that I am totally alone with my computer. Sometimes it's just too tempting!

So, here I am writing until the urges dissipate. I know that eventually they will go away and a few hours from now I am going to look back on this moment and be very thankful that I did NOT give in. I mean heck, I have gone almost a month and a half!

I can almost see the event unfolding in front of me. I get weak, I click, I view. I leave the computer, stunned at what I have just done. It was exciting to watch but now LOOK at what I have done! I am back at ground ZERO after a month and a half of really hard work. You IDIOT!!

If feels good to write. I am slowly regaining control. Deep Breath....again....again. I feel better! I gotta stretch out before I begin to work!

I am going to make it!!!!

THANK YOU!!!!

Yours in the bond of healing,

BestShot

[fightingdefeat]

You are doing the right thing! Write it out - think it through! Clear up the mind!

Like you say -- work and effort lost with even just a nanosecond of uncontrolled lust and giving into temptation. As soon as you click on to a page and even if you close it asap, you loose a lot of the self control that you've been gaining in just one blunder. We are standing on the edge of a cliff. One wrong step cannot be afforded...

I've had some crazy hard temptations and urges recently and I even "imagined" what could play out. I knew the ending was bad, yet I somehow wanted to not believe it hah! So so glad I didn't give in. I hope you don't either. It's not worth it.

[BestShot]

Hi Fighting Defeat,

Well, thanks to YOU I didn't click this morning. I had been fine since my last post but MAN was I tempted this morning!. I came here and started reading my own journal and your last reply inspired me to stay away!!!!!

One of the things I have been struggling with lately is the "libido" issue. It is lower than it has ever been and I miss what it used to be. I am hoping that with a much needed vacation coming up soon I can get some of it back. My work takes a lot out of me and I commute FAR each day. It just wears on you and wears you down. Anyway, one of the temptations of "P" is to view to help get the libido "up". I know it's wrong and I know it is sinning....it's just the temptation that's hard to deal with because I know it will "work". Again, it's a cheap short cut that will leave me feeling disappointed in myself. Therefore, I will stay away :)

Thanks for listening and I hope all of you stay strong today!

Yours in the bond of healing,

BestShot