an addiction of 18 years

[Nowitends]

I have been addicted to pornography since I was 14 years of age. I am a recovering alcoholic and have not drunk for 3 months. I am high functioning but feel I could achieve so much more if I can rid myself of this bizarre time consuming addiction. I appreciate all of your help as I am trying to do this alone.

[aaronleong]

Welcome to the forum, Now. You've come to a great place full of wonderful, helpful people. I hope you find peace and the right tools to help you on your quest to recovery/control. What are doing right now to curb your need for porn and drinking, if you don't mind me asking?

[lost_one]

Warm welcome to you Nowitends and well wishes on your new journey..

just don't let those 18 years fool you.. YOU can definitely do it but only if you truly want to quit it..

i also want to congratulate you on finding this place... and all da best to you..

[JenMac]

Hi Nowitends!
Welcome to TTF! I am glad that you have found us!
TTf is a wonderful place for recovery simply because it is filled with wise and caring members who will support and encourage you on your path to recovery. I feel so blessed that my husband mac and I found this place.
Nowitends, you are a recovering alcoholic and so I am wondering if you have experience with AA? I have been involved with Alanon for a number of years and find it very helpful in healing from the effects of this in my life as well. I believe a 12 step program helps to prepare us to live life to the fullest.
Just want to encourage you to begin a journal in the recovering journal section where you can express your thoughts and feelings. I find that to be freeing myself. I also wanted to let you know that there is usually a men's chat at 9 pm EST on Monday nights. Feel welcome to join in. If you have a partner they are also encouraged to be active at TTF. We have many couples here working through this together. Couple's chat is Wedneday night at 8 pm EST.
All the best to you Nowitends! Visit often!
Jenn

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Nowitends

I am happy to see that you came here for help.

You are on your way to a life, that is free from this addiction. I do not care how many years someone has with this addiction, because if it is in your heart to beat this crap, then you will be able to do it.

I am a 55 year old man, with over 40 years of S*x addiction, and I have been free for a little over a year now. so if i can do it, then so can you. the good thing is, that you are not alone in this. when you came to this site, you came to a place that has people who may not know you, but they do care about you, so much more than you know.

Do what you can to be here as much as you can. it is by you coming here, sharing your struggles, that we are able to help you. it is a wonderful feeling that you can come here, and write in your own journal, and no one will ever make you feel bad. of course we do need to be careful in what we say in our journals, so no one is triggered, but other than that, write in it, express yourself, let us know how you are doing. You are going to be amazed in how good you will feel, after a short time here.

I hope to hear from you again soon. I do wish you the best in your recovery. Always remember, we are standing by your side in this battle. we will all do this together

Gerald

[Teemo]

Nowitends,

I am glad you came to TTF for help. This site is a huge help for me. This addiction is powerful. If we want to recover from it, we need a lot of support. Is there anyone you can turn to for help or support? It is not easy to share this with another person face-to-face, but it is wonderfully helpful.

Are you in AA? When we admit that our lives are unmanageable, and turn them over to God's care, we are starting down the right road. If you are working the steps, you know what I mean. I am not in AA or another twelve-step program, but I think those who are have a tremendous advantage in this struggle. I think the steps themselves tell what is needed in our lives.

If we are addicted, we are in trouble. Things have gone terribly wrong. We need to make them right.

I hope to read more about your journey!

[Nowitends]

Thank you everyone for your kind words of support.

My wife has been pretty unpleasant to myself and my children today. Usually my reaction is to look for P online. Its a strange reaction and not sexual. I think its to pass time quickly until I go to sleep.

I have instead come to this forum and written this post. This will be my third day P free and if I can make it to midnight tomorrow will be the start of a P free year. I've been making a list of ten things I need to complete each day to make sure I am occupied all the time and spending lots of time with my children.

thank you all again. I'm going to take the kids somewhere nice.

with regards to my alcohol addiction I think Joe and Charlies big book study is one of the most amazing and inspirational things I have ever heard.

[Nowitends]

<sup>Well after three days I came crashng off the wagon last night. Feel really stupid.

Can anyone recommend some good quality blocking software i can put on my computer?</sup>

[lost_one]

I am sorry to hear that Nowitends.. but honestly i like your nickname..

well yes a filter that i have heard a lot about in here is something called K-9 filter which is free.. u can find it easily.. I have used paid ones which sadly didn't work for long.. what i would suggest as a fellow addict.. is to not let someone else or someTHING tries stopping you.. instead try to stop it yourself.. it is far better than just hoping you will get lucky and the filter won't find that site.. you know.. we gotta admit these days P is everywhere.. you will be checking your email.. hotmail.. yahoo google etc.. and there is this small appealing ad banner based on your interests hobbies which is actually a trap only for you.. there are also other things which are impossible to ignore such as TV.. Songs.. Magazines.. even radio and lustful thoughts.. now its up to you.. go with whatever works best for you..!