My journal and my battle - Serafim

[Serafim]

I'm starting my recovery journal here.
I've already presented my topic in the Welcome topic - I'm man in late 30s (age), addicted to P and MB from many years.
I'm clean from 10 days.
there seems to be a lot of stress in the upcoming days / weeks. I hope it will not trigger my bad habits.
I'll appreciate the advices and support of the persons here. thank you.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

I'm starting my recovery journal here.
I've already presented my topics in the Welcome topic - I'm man in late 30s (age), addicted to P and MB from many years.
I'm clean from 10 days.
there seems to be a lot of stress in the upcoming days / weeks. I hope it will not trigger my bad habits.
I'll appreciate the advices and support of the persons here. thank you.

Serafim

I don't believe I have welcomes you here, so I am doing that now. I am sorry for not doing it sooner. I like that you are here, and now, you are starting your own journal. by doing this, we can see how you are doing, and we will be able to help you with your needs.

You said, that there will be lots of stress in the coming days/weeks, and that you are hoping that they wont trigger you into old habits. First off, I am happy to see, that you realize that by the stress that is coming, you may be triggered. So what you need to do now is, find ways you will fight the triggers/temptation, so when they do come around, you already have a solution in fighting them off. If we already know what our triggers are, and we don't have a plan of action, when they do come, it will/may be to late to get through the temptations.

Yes I know, it may be easier said than done, but the good thing is, that it can be done. We need to always be fighting this addiction, even when good days are around, that way, we can fight a better fight, when the bad days comes, and they will come. I see that you are already 10 days cleans from the crap, and I am very encouraged by that. you are doing good in recovery, and it seems, you are doing the right things, to fight this addiction. So keep up the good work in your recovery. we are happy to have you here, as part of our little family. we will do this together.

Again I welcome you here, and I do wish you the best, and will be looking forward in following you on this road to recovery

Your fellow addict
Gerald

[truetome]

Hi Serafim,
I am glad to see your journal here. I hope you find that it feels good to get your feelings out in a safe environment. It has helped me a great deal in the short time I have been writing in my journal. Congratulations on 10 days. Please try to come here first when the stress of life and pull of P and lust is tugging at you. We are all pulling for you and you have our full support!!
Matt

[Serafim]

Day # 11
No big P temptation, clean day. After such days, I stand ready to expect attacks resulting from my addiction.
Gerald, Matt, thanks a lot for your advices and support.

[Charly22]

I stand ready to expect attacks resulting from my addiction.

Have you come up with a plan for these times?

[Serafim]

Have you come up with a plan for these times?

Actually not. Can you tell me more about such a plan ?

[Charly22]

The plan should be something that you decide. It's just the fact that you come up with something. That you are looking ahead and preparing for what you will do in those times, the fact that you will visualize yourself doing this particular plan, and seeing this ahead of time, so when the time comes that you might feel bombarded, you will have a plan, and have already visualized what you will do.

I hope other pa's might be able to post in your journal about their own plan.....

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Actually not. Can you tell me more about such a plan ?

A plan, a plan of action, is something that you need, from day one of recovery. This plan is something that only you can come up with, because it is you, who knows your danger areas with this addiction.

If you were going on a vacation, and you were going to drive, no doubt, you would look at a map, to find the best possible route to travel on. If there was a road you planned to take, but they warned you that if it is storming, it would not be safe to travel on, then of course, you would find a other route to go, if it is stormy.
It is no different with us addicts. We need to know what direction; we are going to go, in case of storm/temptations. What are you going to do, if you run into something, which is giving you the temptation, to give into this addiction?
What if you are home, watching TV, and something comes on, that is making you feed this addiction?, do you just sit and watch, hoping that you don’t give in to the addiction, or do you know that it is best that you don’t see what you are looking at. For me, as soon as something comes on, and I see that I am enjoying it a little too much, I will get up from the couch, and go to the kitchen, and get me some soda or something, and then will go back when that scene is over with.
A few times I haven’t got up fast enough, and my SO will say, you don’t need to see this sh*t, and she will change the channel for a few minutes. I try to get up before that happens, because she shouldn’t have to miss part of a movie, just because I am an addict.

The same if I am on the computer, something pops up, get away from it, and just don’t allow yourself to sit and look at it, for any longer than we need to. The main thing for a plan is what we are going to do, when we see we are being tempted to act out. If I am really struggling, I won’t even go near my computer. I will just go sit in another room, or go outside, until I feel better.
Let’s face it my friend, if we do not, get rid of the temptation right away, we will allow ourselves to give into them. This is a very powerful addiction, and it has many ways to trick us, to make us think we don’t need to change our course, we are traveling on.

So a plan of action? It is what we are going to do so when the storm hits, so we are not out in the storm. I think you get the just in what I am trying to say. Just do whatever it takes, to keep you from giving into this crap, when the struggles are around you.

Read though journals here, and try to find what others do, when they are face to face with this beast, and what they done at that moment, to fight him off
Good luck to you my friend.
Gerald

[Serafim]

The above two posts were very useful for me.
Charly, Gerald, thank you. I'll do further reflection on my plan to fight the P addiction.

Day 14 - clean, somehow I managed to overcome with some trigerring factors.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Day 14 - clean, somehow I managed to overcome with some trigerring factors.

Congrats on 14 days. stay strong, and always be on guard my friend

Gerald