This Is My Story

[Yesterday Is History]

I've been addicted to P and MB for at least over 5 years, and I'm not even 18. As I look back on when I was younger all I can see was a happy kid that loved to play outside, build things, and figure out how things work, etc. But around 11 or 12 things started to change. I use to be kind of outgoing and talkative, but now most of the time I just spend sitting around the house doing nothing. I've tried to quit looking at P and MB many times over last year, but somehow I always ended up returning to my horrible ways. Ever since I started looking at P and MB I've been depressed almost every single day, for almost 5 years.

I've finally figured out what my triggers are. Whenever I'm alone, stressed, bored, or depressed I would turn to P and MB to help, which it did but only for a few hours and then I'd be back at it. It's been so bad sometimes that I've stopped hanging out with friends, going to church (thankfully I'm going again), and a whole lot of other things that would be normal for someone my age to be doing.

I can't do this alone and I really want to tell my parents one day, but just not right now. Right now I'm asking God to give me the strength to get through this horrible addiction that's completely ruined my life. I've also installed software on my computers router, started getting educated about this addiction by reading blogs, articles, and stories other people have written.

So far I'm 5 days free from P and MB! My family and I are going to be visting our friends for a week so all prayers that I would stay clean would be really appreciated.

- Yesterday Is History

[JenMac]

Welcome to TTF Yesterday! I am glad you have found us!
I think it is inspiring that you are here of your own volition because you recognize a problem in your life. Being here, telling your story, and receiving support and guidance from others who understand what you are going through will be an important tool for you as you strive to move through this difficult time and towards recovery.
Yesterday, Awareness, Acceptance, Action. Those are the first 3 steps in healing from any addiction in your life, and you have already accomplished all 3.
YOu are on your way Yesterday! I am wishing you strength in your journey!
TTF is awesome! Come back often!
Jenn

[waterlily327]

Hi Yesterday Is History, it sounds like you are really on the right track to recovery. You have made tremendous progress by coming here, starting a journal, and installing an internet filter. (YAY!) Fighting this addiction won’t be easy, but you are on the right track in so many ways. Knowing, and being able to recognize your triggers, are a huge part of managing this addiction. Plus, you are young and freeing yourself from this addiction earlier in your life will make it easier to develop long-term, happy, healthy relationships with a significant other, friends, and family down the road. Every day you go without p*** proves to yourself that you can function without it in your life, every day without p*** is a victory. Lean on TTF for support, and post here often so we can get to know you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! Good luck with everything!

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Hey Yesterday is history

Sounds like you are doing good in your recovery, and I am very pleased, that you are here, to get the help that you need.

The one thing that impressed me a lot, is that you said, you are not even 18 yet. for someone, your age, asking for help, is wonderful news to hear. I wish, I had the courage, when I was your age, to ask for help. you just do not know, how good that makes me feel.

If you wonder if it is even possible to get this addiction out of you life, I can assure you, that yes it is possible, very possible. I am 55 years old, and I have had this addiction, for over 40 years of my life. and I am 2 weeks away, from being free from this addiction. and it is a wonderful feeling, when it is not in your live anymore.

You have a chance, to have a regular life. I say this, because you just don't understand, what this addiction, can take away from you. and I am happy that you are here, so hopefully, you never find out, what it can take away from you.

All I can say, is for you to please, keep up trying, to keep away from all of this garbage. I don't are what this addiction says it has, to make you feel better, don't listen, because they are all lies. I have the most beautiful woman on this earth to share my life with, and I almost lost her, and I never want to see that happen to you, when you find that special someone, when you get older.

Please keep coming here. if you need help, ASK, and we will do what we can, to assist you in your struggles

I wish you the best

Gerald

[Yesterday Is History]

Thank you all for the inspiring and encouraging words! Hopefully I'll also be able to inspire you and everyone else that reads this.

So I'm almost through 6 days clean from looking at P and MB. I'm really happy that I've been able to make it this far, and hopefully I'll be able to continue for the rest of my life (I can hope, right).

In my past when I've decided to quit both P and MB I was able to get only 7 days clean, but hopefully finding this site, doing all the research I've been doing, and finally asking God to help me with this will finally be enough for me to overcome this. I just have to think to myself that if I can just stay clean one day, and then do the same thing day after day, that I'll be free from all the pain I've caused myself over the years that this has been going on.

Tomorrow my family and I will be leaving to visit our friends for a week. We did this at the being of the year and I completely lost it when it came to MB. Anytime I got bored I would just leave and go hide and MB. So please, please, please pray that I'll be able to stick to being free from P and MB while I'm visiting my friends.

Stay strong,

- Yesterday Is History

[IN NEED OF HELP]

So I'm almost through 6 days clean from looking at P and MB. I'm really happy that I've been able to make it this far, and hopefully I'll be able to continue for the rest of my life (I can hope, right).

Yes one can hope to be free for the rest of his life, and to be honest, with the right motivation in your heart, there is really no reason you cant be free for the rest of your life

Gerald

[Yesterday Is History]

Yes one can hope to be free for the rest of his life, and to be honest, with the right motivation in your heart, there is really no reason you cant be free for the rest of your life

Gerald

I truly believe this!

I forgot to mention that while I'm with my family visiting our friends that I will have no access to this site, so please pray that I'll be able to get along without it for a week, and that I'll be strong enough not to give in to urges to act out.

Once I'm home though I'll get back to writing here, right away.

Stay strong,

Yesterday Is History

[ocja0201]

Welcome Yesterday,

I like Gerald am quite impressed that you have decided to fight this addiction at your age and wish you the best along the journey to freedom. Being ever mindful of your weakness is one of the best preemptive weapons you have against it, so don't let your guard down.

God Bless

~J

[mell]

Hello Yesterday and welcome to TTF!

It inspires me to see that younger people are coming to be aware of the damage that p causes in thier lives.

You have done a good thing by asking for help here, the community is an awesome support tool. We have all walked the path - either the addict side or the SO side, so we know what you are going through.

Hope you have a good time with your friends and family. Looking forward to hearing more from you when you return.

[Yesterday Is History]

@ocja0201 and @mell, I'm also really happy that I'm actually trying to do this while I'm this young instead of waiting and trying to do it once things really get out of control.

So I made it through the night pretty easily (yay me). This morning I kind of was thinking about things and with all the stress of having to leave for a week I almost M, but I didn't (woot!). I just had to think that if I did I would have to start this all over again (and I hate having to do things more than I should have to).

Everyone please feel free to comment on here. Just knowing that there will be people encouraging me through the week, even though I won't be able to write on here, will be a huge boost for me to try and stay clean.

Stay strong and stay clean,

Yesterday Is History