My List

[DDH]

What problems has P caused me in the past?

• Unable to finish having sex with wife
• Caused fights with wife

What problems am I experiencing today because of P ?

• Divorce
• Loosing my family
• Wife doesn't trust me
• Can't communicate with wife
• Lack of intimacy
• Emotionless

How has P canted me in ways that I do not like?

• Caused me to lie to my wife
• Objectify women
• Live in the dark

How does P use hurt my Wife and Others?

• Hurt my wife's self-esteem
• Caused my wife to second guess the way she looks
• Wife doesn't trust me that I am doing the right thing second guesses what I say
• Robbed my wife of her free time because she is checking up on me
• Took time away from building a healthy relationship with my wife
• Loss of happiness
• Depression
• Low self-esteem

What problems could occur form future P use?

• Lose family
• Public humiliation

What problems P has caused me?

• Loss of respect from my wife
• Divorce action
• Depression
• Low self-esteem
• Lack of intimacy with my wife
• Happiness

What matters to me most?

• Establishing a healthy relationship with my wife
• Being there for my kids while they grow up
• Being a role mold for my kids
• Having my wife's trust

Facing my fears.

• Loosing my family
• Not being there for my kids while they grow up

Taking responsibility for my actions.

• Acknowledge I have an addiction / problem with P
• Acknowledge I have caused my wife self esteem issues
• Acknowledge that I have caused a lack of trust in my marriage

[Teemo]

DDH,

It makes me sad to read your list. I'm sure you have lots of regrets about the damage this addiction has caused for you and your family.

I have regrets, too. Lots of them. I just thank God I have a chance today to make some things right. We can't go back. What's in the past is over. Our work is today, right now.

[basha]

DDH,

I am glad you are here and just laid the corner stone of your recovery by admitting that you have a problem like all of us here besides recognizing the harm the P caused you and your loved ones. I am glad you came to this wonderful site. Tomorrow is another day my friend with a brand new sunshine. But the past behind your back, you can always start over and redeem what this addiction has taken from you. I will be visiting your journal see how are you doing and I will be glad if you visit mine.

Be well :)

[lost_one]

hey there DDH,

good to see posts from you.. although i think, you have got a longer list there.. if you make it a bit shorter, it will help you more focus on the main areas.. as I can see many of them are similar.. you have already acknowledged that almost all the trouble caused in your life is cuz of P then such a long list can also cause you losing faith and giving up easily.. i would say from my experience, don't push yourself too hard.. count the blessings that you have at this moment..
find the main reason why you want to quit and try to keep the recovery as simple for yourself even if it feels harder at times :)..

best wishes and praying for you..