Day zero

[Dom]

Here I am on my first day to recovery. Only a few hours since my last weak moment. There is so much at stake here if this continues. My wife (the absolute love of my life,) my son and my self-esteem to name a few. My wife and I have a great relationship and love each other very much. SO WHY DO I JEOPARDIZE THAT RELATIONSHIP BY CONTINUING TO DO THIS TO MYSELF? I have a perfect 1 yo son. WHAT KIND OF EXAMPLE AM I SETTING HERE? My self-esteem plummets every time I give in to PA. WHY ON EARTH WOULD I LET THIS HAPPEN OVER AND OVER?

[lost_one]

welcome Dom.. why are you doing this..? there can be many reasons to that.. mine is mainly loneliness.. and escaping but not facing the real world issues..

I believe you have so many great people in your life to enjoy every moment.. your wife.. your son..

1 simple formula.. there is no simple way to overcome this thing.. I have not heard a single person anywhere who has been clean without struggles..

try to recognize the actual problem why and when do you turn to P..? make a long term plan and then short term plans and stick to them..

its a lovable community here.. keep coming here..

LOST

[Crisodian]

Dom,
Welcome to TTF. I am an SO (wife) of a PA who has been in recovery since 2009. I am also a non-porn addict in long term recovery myself. Very soon I will mark 17 years clean.

We all have our own reasons for giving in to the tempations and triggers our addictions cause. Why is a hard question to answer.

The first thing i would suggest is make a PLAN. Plan for the times the weaknesses come. Because, the temptations and challenges WILL come. Make yourself a list of things that trigger you and then what you will do when those triggers occur. Your plan will need to change and grow with you as you move forward in recovery.

The second suggestion I would make to you is be open and share with your SO. She can be your biggest champion, if she is willing. Honesty is key. For you and for her to heal.

Thirdly, check out some of the journals of our long term PAs in recovery: FoolishMind, Daniel, Mac, HopefulsRock. You will find inspiration and tools in there to help you build your own plan to success.

Find a path to peace,
~C~

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Here I am on my first day to recovery. Only a few hours since my last weak moment. There is so much at stake here if this continues. My wife (the absolute love of my life,) my son and my self-esteem to name a few. My wife and I have a great relationship and love each other very much. SO WHY DO I JEOPARDIZE THAT RELATIONSHIP BY CONTINUING TO DO THIS TO MYSELF? I have a perfect 1 yo son. WHAT KIND OF EXAMPLE AM I SETTING HERE? My self-esteem plummets every time I give in to PA. WHY ON EARTH WOULD I LET THIS HAPPEN OVER AND OVER?

Dom
Welcome to TTF
Day one of recovery. this is the best day of your life, when it comes to this addiction. you will soon see, as you work your recovery, and you remain free from it, that you are going to feel better than you have in a very long day.

I see 3 great reasons why you want to be free from this crap.

1-YOU. You now see what this crap can do to us addicts. now you want to fight this, so you can be a better man, not only for yourself, but for your family. you want your self-esteem back. you want a clean Heart, and a clean Mind. you no longer want to be this man, living with this sick addiction.

2- WIFE. Your wife loves you, and you love her. you now what to be honest with her in your life. no more hiding behind closed doors, so we can act out. no more selfishness in our hearts, and no more of cheating/depriving her of your heart 100%. this is the woman that you love, and want to be with for a very long time, and you know, if you continue in this life of addiction, you will lose it all.

3- SON. If there is any reason to not want to be a addict to this crap, is this beautiful 1 year old Son of yours. your son needs a man, who will be there for him, 24 hours a day. being free from this addiction, will let you be there for him 24 hours a day, because if we are still wrapped up in our addiction, then that means, we have to share our time, with our child, and with our addiction. and I know, when you see your beautiful son, you don't want to lose any precious time with him. so because of this, you no longer will allow this addiction, to be a part of your life.

And remember my friend, your son, is a very special gift from GOD, so you need to value this gift, and give him the BEST life possible.

There is no reason at all as to why you can beat this crap, and get it out of your life. all it is going to do, if you continue in it, is destroy everything that you love. your wife and child deserves so much more in life, than living with an addict. they don't deserve that pain, that comes along in being addicted to this crap. So fight this as hard as you can, and do not allow it, to be a part of your family anymore.

If you fight this, and do so with a HEARTFELT, determination, then you CAN do it. the good thing is, that you are not alone in this battle. you have an army here, who will stand by you, and help you the best that we can. we will give you the support, and encouragement you need, to be a winner of this battle.

Come here as much as you can, and let us know how you are doing, so we can help you. I am so happy that you are here my friend

Good luck to you

Your fellow addict
Gerald

[Dom]

I'm not celebrating yet, but it's been more than 24 hours since I gave in to my problem. I've been busy today which of course helps. There have been moments though that I need to get over, I was walking through wal-mart today noticing several other shoppers of the opposite sex that attracted my attention. So far I've been able to put it out of my mind. Even while my neck is craning from left to right I'm telling myself how I need to learn to ignore these things... Maybe not ignore, but react differently. I don't want to be disgusted every time I see an attractive woman! Surely there is a more healthy response.

I have given in to another indulgence today though - ice cream. Considering my pa problem I'm thinking I should try to find another favorite flavor.... Currently it's Karmel Sutra!

Thank you to those of you who have replied with their support. It's more helpful than you may realize to know someone is rooting for you.

Dom

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Dom
Looks like you are getting back on track with your recovery. That is good to hear.

As for the wal-mart thing, and you turning you head to the left and the right, is something that we as addicts need to deal with. Right now you are in the first stages of your recovery, so this is a learning time for you, in how to deal with what comes with this addiction. You said it best when you said, maybe not ignore, but react differently when we see an attractive woman. You will find a way to handle this when it comes up. It took me over 6 months to find a way to not look at other women as sex objects, and I still have a little issue when it comes to the looking.
It takes a little time, to get things in order, in how you need to deal with things as they come up. It is very important in finding the right ways, because no matter where we go in life, there are always triggers for us addicts.
Just always remember, there are many people here, who will support you when you are tempted. I can see that you are already on your ways to better days. It may be a hard fight, but it is well worth it, because you are worth it

Gerald

[Dom]

Today I'm tired. Didn't sleep very well last night. My wife just left, I don't feel up to doing anything and what do i do almost automatically?? I sit at the computer, start Safari and turn on privacy! Thankfully I remembered my new friends here before I got too far along.

It's good to know you're here. I think I'll turn off the computer and go have lunch.

Dom

[Cupcakemomma]

Good call, Dom on coming here instead. THAT is a step in the right direction.

[Dom]

Just got home from our friends place for dinner and a movie. It's been good so far. My PA hasn't reared its ugly head since earlier this morning. We put our son to bed and I'm looking forward to a good nights rest.

Thanks again to everyone for their support.

Dom

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Just got home from our friends place for dinner and a movie. It's been good so far. My PA hasn't reared its ugly head since earlier this morning. We put our son to bed and I'm looking forward to a good nights rest.

Thanks again to everyone for their support.Dom

Dom

Nice to see you are doing ok my friend. isn't it a nice feeling when we can go out, and have fun, without this addiction being there with us? I am happy to see you are doing good. hope you got that good nights rest

Your fellow addict

Gerald