Let's re-invent the wheel

[stranger0]

EDIT: moving on...

[Teemo]

Stranger,

Welcome to TTF. I think you will find that the people here will welcome your input and will encourage you to follow the way that makes sense for you. I like the way you have taken apart the whole fantasy process and shown how it works. That sort of analysis helps me to see how it exerts control over me when I allow any fleeting thought to lead to more visualization, etc.

I think you will find as you read the journals here that those who are having success have put together great plans for changing their lives, and have found various kinds of ongoing support. For most of us, a lot has to change. While I might not be "powerless" to do anything about my addiction, I have to admit that I have tried unsuccessfully many times before. I came to a point where I knew I needed help, and now I am getting that help.

I hope you are putting together a strong plan for getting free. It looks like you are off to a great start, and I congratulate you for taking the step of starting a journal here.

[stranger0]

EDIT: moving on...

[stranger0]

EDIT: moving on...

[stranger0]

EDIT: moving on...

[Benedict]

Stranger0, I am also trying a mindfulness-based approach to dealing with the urges. I put a couple of posts in the Religion Forum on a buddhist approach to dealing with urges. I've been practicing zazen for a long time now, and see zen practice as essentially about freeing ourselves from addictions (or delusions) to be fully here-now. For me, the middle way feels right, its not about suppression of urges but rather freeing oneself from the need to compulsively react to them. So when an urge arises, I try to stay open and feel into the urge (the urge here-now) and sit with it the way I would with thoughts or feelings that arise in zazen. Good luck with your strategies, I wish you all the best.
Benedict

[burnedout]

Benedict, I tried your approach a couple times tonight and it seemed to work. The urges just sort of passed. That would be great if that approach continued to work.

Stranger0, I like what you say in your first post about powerlessness. I question that whole concept now. However, when I was looking a P 12+ hours a day, I felt really out of control, and, yes, powerless. But part of being in control means figuring out exactly what that means. I think being in control is a combination of finding the strength within yourself to make better decisions, and finding others who can lend you support to do so. There have been times even very recently when I said, "Here, God, you deal with this now. I'm done" (and it had nothing to do with P use). But I think it was really just a way of taking the pressure off myself for a moment, giving myself some time and breathing room while I figured out what the right decision was.

John