90 day commitment to recovery

[dagaz]

1 day clean

Well, here I am back in the early stages of recovery again. I've realised that in the past 17 months since I joined npsupport and started this journey towards recovery I have tried many methods (e.g. Candeo, InnerGold, Smart Recovery, etc.) and gone through many phases. Lately I have been trying to act as though I am in the latter stages of recovery just because I have been acting out less. BUT, I am still acting out and far too often. I'm just not binging as much as I used to, I'll act out once or twice then go a week or two clean and then repeat. Which is definitely better than where I used to be, but nowhere near where I want to be. I want to be rid of this insidious addiction - permanently.

So, I have decided that for the next 90 days my recovery will be my number 1 focus. Then, I can go back to all these good, healthy things I have been doing (daily meditation, writing and exercise; being productive at home and at work) but with a better buffer between me and my addiction. So, while I won't (hopefully) be stopping any of the good habits I've been developing, for the next 90 days they will be means to help me in my goal of full recovery, not merely goals in themselves.