I will quit

[AJP2008]

Ok, I'm a few days into my sobriety and I'm doing ok so far, I still feel as though I'm going to have problems later, I always do. This must be the quad rillionth time I have tried to quit porn, and maybe I'm deluding myself but for my wife, god I love her, I have to stop. My porn use is getting out of hand, I have an addiction. I'm going to try and post everyday until in this journal, some days I may not say much, but I will try and post something.

Help me people...this is a cry for help!
I've read a book called the porn trap, and I have a plan for dealing with situations, but still I'm not going to kid myself.

[Teemo]

AJP,

Good, don't kid yourself. It will not be easy. If you want this bad enough, though, you can do it. From my experience and what I have read, it takes an absolute commitment. You have to put in place a plan to succeed, and your plan has to include every piece of help you can find. Accountability is very important. Who will walk this journey with you, and talk with you face to face about it? Also, you need to put some real distance between yourself and any access to pornography. Get rid of anything that you may have saved. Install an internet filter. Take immediate action to change your home or work situation if that is needed to avoid access to pornography. Change any daily routines that contribute to the problem. It will be an all-consuming effort, at least at first. Keep reading and writing here at TTF. It is a tremendous source of help and support. We all want this behind us. Life is good, and we want to live without this addiction ruining everything that matters to us.

[needtoheal]

We are all behind you AJP,

Taking responsibility (owning your shit as my wife says), acceptance, planning and vigilance are all key to getting on the road to recovery. So is being positive, change the 'I will quit' into 'I have quit'. Say it to yourself every evening before you go to bed. Each day is a small battle to stay clean and believe me it does get easier (116 days and counting here). Use your journal and the rest of the site to monitor your triggers and plans and we all wish you the best of luck and any support you need.

[AJP2008]

Today is easy, Monday's always are and in the last few years have always been the day or no or next to no activity. Usually because it's come home, eat meal, go out. Get back around 10pm, straight to bed. Maybe this is (as another member says) keeping busy. Tomorrow is a usual trouble spot but I'm going to my parents after work. See ya.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Help me people...this is a cry for help!

AJP
I am glad to see that you once again, are here, wanting to fight this addiction out of your life. you say you are crying out for help. Well you have come to the right place for the help that you need, to overcome this problem that you have with P. So we will do all that we can, to help you.

But I am going to say something, that may sound harsh, but please don't take it that way. But with that said, I am not going to sugar coat anything about this addiction. I see that you have started your journey here in 2008, but yet, you are still under the grip of this addiction. you came here in 08 wanting help, and for some reason, you have not been able to take control over your life again. I am sure that there was many, willing to help you when you first started here.

So lets just forget about the past, and move on to today, in this round of recovery.

To be honest, I do not see why it is, after 3 years since joining here, you are still struggling with this crap in your life. you should have had it well under control by now. I f you do truly want this out of your life, then there is no reason as to why, you cant get it out of your life. you need to know, that this is a 24 hour, 7 day a week battle that you are in right now.So I feel that this time around, you fight a lot harder to get control overt this addiction

I am no way questioning you in how bad that you want to be free from this. I am questioning in how bad in your HEART do you want this crap gone. to even have a little chance of beating this, it has to be 100% in your heart and soul, to want to be free. if you don't have the motivation in your HEART, too fight this crap, then you will be here in 3 more years, CRYING FOR HELP.

It is time for you to now, put up a fight, and not give in a little with this fight. Each day, that you don't do what you need to do in your recovery, this crap just gets a stronger hold on you, and it will get to the point, that it will never let go of you. So it is time that you take this recovery seriously, so you can live a much better life.
You truly do have to be so damn tired of this having control over you. you do know that there is no way, that you can continue like this.
IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO TAKE CONTROL

I feel that you have never fought hard enough to get rid of this. please take a GOOD look at what plans you have, to help you in your recovery. make sure, this time around, you have a plan that WILL work for you, and you need to STICK with them, to be able to recover.

Something you have been doing in the past, just isn't right. so find out what it is, so you can fix it now, to have a chance of being on a road to recovery.

We are here for you, and we want to see you more than you know, to have control over this. and I assure you, we will HELP you the best that we can. But, you need to HELP YOURSELF, before we can do a thing for you.
PLEASE, find out what you need to do, so you can once and for all, get rid of this addiction.

Make sure that it is in your heart to do this, so your recovery will work for you.
I want so bad to see you make it this time.
I want so badly, to see you fight like hell this time to win this battle.
I want to help you with this, but I do need to see you also helping yourself.
I want to see you writing in this journal, so we know what you are going through.
I want to just see you doing better, than you ever have before

Yes this is just what I want to see, but let me ask you, IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT ALSO?
Think about it. think about just how bad you want this gone for good. think about a damn good plan, that will work for you now.

We are here for you my friend, and we will never give up on you, so please don't give up on yourself.

You can do this. you can beat this. you can get this under control.
YOU CAN AND WILL COME OUT A WINNER

I wish you nothing but the best in your recovery. its time now, to fight. so get your weapons, to fight this addiction, and prove to YOURSELF, that you are a winner

You are not alone here in any way.

[HopefulsRock]

Welcome AJ... post away my friend, because your not alone in this struggle and you've come to the right place! "The Porn Trap" is an excellent book to start with and refer to so your off to a good start already in this journey of recovery!

This is a process that takes time but it will be the wisest time you ever spent on yourself and the connection you have with your wife! In my opinion there is nothing more important than getting sober from this addiction and making the changes necessary to remain that way! ...so this this a life changing process so make it be priority #1 and get your life back from this ever consuming addiction!

God bless and may you find strength in your journey!

[AJP2008]

Thanks for your support, I really will quit this time. I have never said that before, only usually try. It's not easy for me to admit that I have a problem but I did to my wife, she helps me. She knows I'm doing this and has promised to help me.

[likeafish34]

AJP,

I think its all been said by other members, so I'll just say good luck and keep posting.

Simon

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Thanks for your support, I really will quit this time. I have never said that before, only usually try. It's not easy for me to admit that I have a problem but I did to my wife, she helps me. She knows I'm doing this and has promised to help me.

We are very glad to hear this my friend. once we do realize that we have a problem, then we can motivate ourselves to quitting. Like I said earlier, we are here for you, and we will help you as much as we can

Gerald

[Steelerfan27]

2008,

Nice to have you here man! Welcome!

The one tip I would give you is to go total surrender. The more stuff you surrender, the better off you will be. It's a radical change to break from our stupid, compulsive, porn craving habits. It has to be radical. There is no sort-of or gradual change. You have to set the bar high. Set it so high that you'd be ok with your mother or your daughter seeing your thoughts and what you do in secret. It's a high ideal, one that a PA is almost certainly going to fall short of. I know I do. But unless you set out to make a radical change, to not hold back, you will actually have a much tougher time making a gradual change where you're holding out some secret vices that you deem as an exception to the rule.

If you're like me, you will fail many times. Don't give up. There is a way out of this mess. Don't let P continue to rule your life and wreck your mind, marriage and life. You're here for a reason, because you recognized that you hated this PA inside you. You've grown to hate what P does to you, what a servant you are of lust. Don't forget that. There will be many times when you questions what was so bad about P in the first place. Your mind will try to rationalize. Don't fall for it. Remind yourself of all of the pain P brings and DO NOT FORGET IT!