Working Towards a New and Better Me

[DDH]

I wish is was easy for me to share my feelings and thoughts like it is for most people but its not. I never thought in a millions years that I would be here on a PA site trying to get my life together. I am here and ready to admit that I have an addiction to P. I had watched P on tv mostly Cable and renting movies then i got a computer and found it was easier to go there and look, eventually it turned into a daily habit when I was a lone or late at night. I have no idea why it escalated like it did me and my W were having S on a daily basis, my W ended up locking the paper view channels because I was out of control with the video rentals so I spent more time looking on the computer. Over the years I would go online and look at P a couple times a week and at times it would be almost daily again. I have no idea why I am drawn into this nasty addiction, I wish I could go back in time and change things, but I can't so now I need to work towards changing and over coming my P addiction.


I have been without P since March fortunately work has taken me out of town to a location where there isn't any access to P. The only problem this trip has come at a crucial time in mine and my W relationship where I have lost her complete trust in me to do the right thing and over come this addiction. As of right now my selfishness has cost me my marriage and family, I want to show my W that I can change and hopefully begin to repair the years of neglect and pain I have caused.

I know this isn't a whole lot but I wanted to just post something to get a start on a journal.

DDH

[FoolishMind]

Hello DDH, and welcome to TTF.

Beleive me most of us did not find it easy to open up and start spewing our lifes problems on to this forum, but it truly is a massive help. So stick with it and you will see.

Ok so your a porn addict! its a label that gets stuck on us based upon the actions we choose, just as easy as you can change those actions, the label can be removed.

You can change, and you will change, and you will wife in time will acknowledge that.

P really is a slippery slope and like you, many of us started with it, as simple curiosity and way to escape lifes stress and boredem. This sadly them quickly becomes a safe haven that we selfishly flock to more and more frequently.

You need to digest as much knowledge as you can from the forums, and work out where your temptations stem from, and note down how you plan to combat them. Really begin to build a bullet proof strategy, and put it in to effect.

Stay focussed and I assure you you will regain the love and respect of your family, and regain the love and respect for yourself.

Big respect to you for opening up, and being honest. That is the hardest step my friend!

FM

[DDH]

FM

Thanks for the warm welcome!

DDH