Micky's Journal of Hope

[mickyspill]

Getting started

Good wishes received from other members here but it is clear I need to make a plan for staying porn free on a daily basis. I will start by trying to write in this journal daily in the morning and trying to be honest with myself.

Still a little nervous about the exposure I feelX_X, e.g. this journal is anything but private but I know opening up is part of the process.

Plan for today: Get busy with my awaiting work. Come here and post again if I get an urge to go searching for porn.

Know I will need to do more planning and networking in the future but I have to deal with pressing work right now.

that's it for now.

[JenMac]

Hey Micky!
Great start!
Have you thought about installling filters on your computer? That seems to be a necessity for many here! K9 is a popular one and it is free. There are others as well, ie. Covenant Eyes. I would strongly suggest doing this while your resolve is strongest.
Also, changing your daily habits can help immensely. My H and I have rarely turned the TV on since the day of discovery and we really don't miss it. My H also only goes on the computer for work or TTF. No online rummaging around.
I am sure you will get lots of other suggestions from people here but those are a couple for you to consider to start with.
Wishing you the best Micky!
Jenn

[mickyspill]

Well, I'm back after a major slip. Trying to overcome the embarrassment and just move on. Now taking meds for depression and hope that will help. Reinstalled K9 after it causing major system problems which interfered with regular net use. Hope it works OK now because I need all the help I can get. Will try to make daily posts to keep me on track. Started reading the Dalai Lama's "The Art of Happiness" as a tool to encourage mental discipline. That's all for now.

[Charly22]

We had to reinstall K9 once as well. I remember reading on their site, that sometimes the version can become corrupt, and reinstalling can take care of the problem.

I'd like to hear what you think of the Dalai Lama book.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Well, I'm back after a major slip. Trying to overcome the embarrassment and just move on. Now taking meds for depression and hope that will help. Reinstalled K9 after it causing major system problems which interfered with regular net use. Hope it works OK now because I need all the help I can get. Will try to make daily posts to keep me on track. Started reading the Dalai Lama's "The Art of Happiness" as a tool to encourage mental discipline. That's all for now.

micky

Sorry I am just responding to this. but to be honest, I just saw it after searching through journals.

I am just writing, hoping that you are doing ok now. I don't want to sound harsh at all, but you said, that you need all of the help that you need. but can I ask you what it is that you are doing in your recovery to help you with this problem. I don't really think I am wanting you to answer it, but more on the lines, I want you to think about it.

If we are to have any hope in getting this addiction out of our lives, we need to make sure, that we are working our recovery 100% all of the time. I truly do feel that this site is a great encouragement for all of us addicts. I guess I am saying this, because I would like to see you here more writing in your journal. I mean, you did say, you would try to come here and make daily posts to keep you on track, but you haven't been back since you made this last one. I do understand that you cant be here all of the time, but I do understand also, that you cant do this alone, and there are so many here who are so willing to try there best, to guide you through this recovery of yours.

Like I said, not meaning to sound harsh, and I am sorry if I sound that way, but I only say this, because I do care if you are clean or not from this addiction. once you get a good taste of freedom from this crap, you will see why it is so important, to do what you need to do, to live a life without this sick crap in it.

I am just hoping you are ok my friend. I will do what it takes to help you the best that I can


Gerald