There is Hope

[SeniorPa]

In my last post, I was planning to confess my PA to my SO1 and try to explain how my PA caused the personality change that caused me to walk out of the marriage to persue a hedonistic adventure.

After a week or two I found the courage to confess my PA to her. To my surprise, she told me that she knew about my PA all along but didn't want to confront me in fear of loosing me. WOW ! That she too thought it was a normal "guy" thing, but she had all the hurt feelings described by the SO's here.

The confession was a hard thing to do. I was terribly ashamed for the hurt I had caused. After the confession I felt a sense of freedom from carrying years of hidden guilt and shame.

Then, I made a solumn oath to her that I would never lie, or keep any secrets from her. That if I should fall from sobriety that I would tell her.

Then she asked questions that was important to her. I answered her honestly and didn't hold anything back.

Then, I made another promise to myself. That whenever I get a trigger to think of porn, I think of my SO1 instead. Now when we are having sex, I do not have to imagine porn images in order to perform.

I am now 20 days sober and without the urge.

[presson]

Thank you for letting this story out. The more of these I read, the bolder I grow.