A new chapter of my life

[God Forgive Me]

Hi there, I'm new to this forum and blah blah blah get straight to the point.

I've been suffering from PA since I was 12 years old and it is taking a toll on my life. My body is frail, I don't get enough sleep and my grades are falling.Socially I'm a mess coz I can't get along with girls bcoz of how I perceive them. . The worse thing is that I'm a christian and I feel as if I am taunting God by watching P. Hence the name God Forgive Me. From this day onward, I vow not to get involve with P ever again. Its time for me to change and I will try my best to do so.

By the way, If you have any advice for me , I would appreciate it.

Day 1 starts now .............

[IN NEED OF HELP]

God Forgive Me
Welcome to TTF

We will do what we can to help you in this addiction.
But if you are to rid yourself from this, you need to make many changes in your life. This is one addiction that is hard to get control of, because it is always around us. so many things are out there in this world, that can act as a trigger to us.
Please now, take the time to see what it is that can act as a trigger to you, to give in to porn. Once to see what they are, they all must no longer be a part of your life. Make the needed changes.

If you have ANY stash of unwanted stuff on your computer, DELETE it now. It is very important to get rid of any files, that contain Porn, off your computer. If it is there, you will turn to it down the road. It is vital in this stage of your recovery, to not be able to get to any porn in any way. If you dont have a filter on your computer, you will see that you should get one on your computer.

You will need to see how it is that you want to fight this addiction. Avery good recovery plan, is so important right now in this recovery. You are about to have a fight of your life with a very powerful beast, that does not like to give up. He will alway be lurking around waiting for the right time to attack you. So find the TOOLS, Weapons, now to beat this beast. If it is in your heart to get rid of this addiction, you will be able to do it.

We all want to see you get better. We all want to see you free from this. We all want to help you. But it is up to you to do all that is needed. It is a long rough road, but it does get smoother in time.

Work your recovery, beat this monster, get rid of him for good.
You are not alone here.

Good luck to you my friend

[God Forgive Me]

Day 2:Yay..........I made it through another day :D Lets just hope i can keep this up

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Day 2:Yay..........I made it through another day :D Lets just hope i can keep this up

We are rooting for you my friend. just stay focused on your recovery, and you will make it through many more days.

The only thing that you will get out of fighting this Beast, are many days of feeling so much better about yourself

[God Forgive Me]

I'm bitterly disappointed with myself. :(( I watched P and MB for a while. What was I thinking !!! This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. My body is craving for something............I deleting all inappropriate content on my PC as I type this but it might take a while. You guys cannot imagine the guilt I'm feeling right now. Off to sleep now...........

A quote for you and me

"Nothing is impossible if you put your heart into it"

[boris]

Dear God Forgive Me,

We're glad you found your way to TTF. It is a first, BIG step in your recovery.

Please know that you are worth the time and all of the effort it takes to break free from this insidious addiction. You can and will do it.

You are not alone. At times we each may feel we are the worst person in the world. I well know the guilt you are feeling right now as do many others here. We've gone through it, and many of us are still going through it. The important thing to remember is that if you didn't feel remorse, you wouldn't be here. It's a highly appropriate emotion. But don't allow guilt to undermine your efforts. Very few of us go through this cleansing process without stumbling. It hurts. Take that hurt and learn from it.

Remind yourself each morning how good it feels to be living a clean life. Pray incessantly. God knows you better than you know yourself. He knows what you need before you even ask. He hasn't given up on you. So don't give up on yourself! And don't beat yourself to death. You are worth so much more than that.

I'm proud of you for taking the first steps to a better, cleaner, happier life. That takes strength, honesty and humility.

We're here for you,
Boris

[IN NEED OF HELP]

I'm bitterly disappointed with myself. :(( I watched P and MB for a while. What was I thinking !!! This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. My body is craving for something............I deleting all inappropriate content on my PC as I type this but it might take a while. You guys cannot imagine the guilt I'm feeling right now. Off to sleep now...........

A quote for you and me

"Nothing is impossible if you put your heart into it"

You are so wrong my friend, so wrong. We do know how much guilt you are feeling at this time. dont ever think that you are the only one that feels this way, because we all do, or have many times. And my friend, I have never heard that this is going to be easy. we are addicted to a very powerful addiction. one that is always around no matter where we go in life. you are on a road that is long and bumpy, but if you take your recovery plan and work it from your heart, this road can get smoother.

You say that you are right now, deleting all the stuff from your computer, and it will take a while. my friend, you must not have deleted anything then before you started your recovery. If you look at the last post I put here, in the 3rd paragraph, look at what I said was so very important that you do right now. I said, that if you dont get rid of it, you WILL TURN TO IT.

Please do not underestimate the power of this addiction. it is strong, powerful, and it will take full control of you in a heartbeat.

All you can do right now, is to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start fighting this addiction much harder
Make sure you are fighting this from your heart, because if your not, you will never beat this addiction

Now get back on this road, and show this beast that you are fighting, that you are much stronger than he is

Good luck to you my friend

[God Forgive Me]

Thanks boris and In Need Of Help for the encouraging words. Close call just now, I was just about to click on a P link then I snapped out of it and proceeded to play my games.

Good news is all the P material on my pc is gone for good

Bad news is I still have a lot of dirty bookmarks within my firefox browser which i'm trying to delete right now ;D

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Thanks boris and In Need Of Help for the encouraging words. Close call just now, I was just about to click on a P link then I snapped out of it and proceeded to play my games.

Good news is all the P material on my pc is gone for good

Bad news is I still have a lot of dirty bookmarks within my firefox browser which i'm trying to delete right now ;D

I hate those close calls. Good thing? you snapped out of it. just shows that you have it in your heart to beat this. many Ups and Downs with our addiction, but the good thing, once we start taking control of our lives, the Ups seems to be around more.

Dirty bookmarks? Yes get rid of them now. just seeing one is enough to trigger you.
When I started on this journey to be free from this crap, I made sure I had nothing left over to come across at a later. this meant, deleting from my computer, deleting from my external HD, deleting from about 3 flash drives, and breaking up maybe 50 cd's. I had stash everywhere. then I ran a program, to delete all my free space on each thing. I had to make sure that I had nothing at all left over. if I did, and I saw it, I would go to it.

Glad you are doing good, Please never stop fighting this beast.

[God Forgive Me]

I hate those close calls. Good thing? you snapped out of it. just shows that you have it in your heart to beat this. many Ups and Downs with our addiction, but the good thing, once we start taking control of our lives, the Ups seems to be around more.

Dirty bookmarks? Yes get rid of them now. just seeing one is enough to trigger you.
When I started on this journey to be free from this crap, I made sure I had nothing left over to come across at a later. this meant, deleting from my computer, deleting from my external HD, deleting from about 3 flash drives, and breaking up maybe 50 cd's. I had stash everywhere. then I ran a program, to delete all my free space on each thing. I had to make sure that I had nothing at all left over. if I did, and I saw it, I would go to it.

Glad you are doing good, Please never stop fighting this beast.

The bookmarks are gone:))............ and to tell you the truth, once you put your mind and heart into trying to quit porn, it becomes a lot easier.

Well I've been P free for 2 days or so................God bless me