oddwonttf Journal

[oddwonttf]

I start day one with hope. I have read a lot of articles on here and hope they help me. I have been under the spell of P for my whole adult life and have been unable to deal successfully with it. I began today at 10:00 am and am typing this at my most vulnerable time and place of the day.

I have already had impulses to look but have moved past them so far. Deep down inside I know how empty PA is and I know there must be a better life for me.

[CJnOhio]

there is a better life for you...we all were in the same situation as you are now...we all had to take that first step into the unknown...but rewarding life of sobriety. we will support you in every way possible. you are among friends. nobody here will quit on you as long as you dont quit on yourself.

first...purge your house, computer, everything of your stash of porn
second...install a filter on your computer, smartphone, etc
third....give the password to someone you can trust, or ask for an accountability partner here
fourth...read as much as you can about the subject, and get ready for your new life...you'll love the new you

[IN NEED OF HELP]

oddwonttf
Welcome to TTF

To go alone with what Cj is saying

5th... Get yourself a good recovery program going for you. find out what it is you will need to help you to beat this addiction.

6th...Make many new changes in your life. Stop going to places, Stop doing things, Stop hanging around people, Stop anything that you are doing now, that can lead you to turn to porn.

7th...Be determined in your HEART, that you will rid yourself from this crap.

8th.. Be aware that this beast is always around. he is always lurking waiting, to find the right time when he can attack us. He is a good fighter, so get your weapons ready, and you fight back even harder, and stronger

You are not alone in this. you have many here that are willing to help you through this

[oddwonttf]

As I write this I am at the time and place that I usually use P. I am turning to the TTF website instead of P websites in hopes that it will prove a good substitute. Over the weekend I encountered a few things I could use some cliarification on......I was at the gym and there were women everywhere who looked sexy.....should I look away? or is this not considered a PA problem. Second....I went to see a comedian who had several girls come up on stage and reveal their private parts....am I not supposed to look? is this considered a part of PA. Not sure what to think.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

As I write this I am at the time and place that I usually use P. I am turning to the TTF website instead of P websites in hopes that it will prove a good substitute. Over the weekend I encountered a few things I could use some cliarification on......I was at the gym and there were women everywhere who looked sexy.....should I look away? or is this not considered a PA problem. Second....I went to see a comedian who had several girls come up on stage and reveal their private parts....am I not supposed to look? is this considered a part of PA. Not sure what to think.

Good questions
Not really sure how to answer them, but I will just say this. Many of us, who have this addiction, had different things that can set them off to act out. If looking at a woman in the gym, is something that would usually give you the urge to act out, then I would advise you, to not just stare at them long enough to puts those thoughts in you mind.
we are always going to come across something, or someone, that we know can trigger us. I dont care if we are at the gym, or at a place where a live show is taking place, if something come to us, that we know or feel that we should not see, then dont dwell on it. dont allow yourself to stay focused on that woman, or the private parts. You can still enjoy the show, even it means you look at there face instead of going lower.
Thoughts and triggers are always going to be in front of us my friend, but it is the way we handle them that is important to us in our recovery
I sure that someone will come and answer your question a little better than I did. but it is good that you think enough about your recovery, to ask theses questions. I am proud that you did