ScottM's Recovery Journal

[ScottM]

My first journal entry. Last acted out at 2 PM today, have destroyed 50% of the stashed p on my computer. Working on erasing the other half tonight. Haven't been caught with it, but I am suffering other consequences due to the time spent feeding the addiction, and self- negativity generated by a lack of integrity. I feel sad and angry much of the time, and my family and all who have had to deal with me regularly are suffering because of my lack of support and compassion. I am here because I want be free of
my addictive behaviors.

[PER50NA]

I am here because I want be free of
my addictive behaviors.

comming here is a good first step in that goal there is alot of useful stuff on this site and it all helps alot

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Scott
just going to welcome you. I just replied to you new member post, so please go there to read what I said.

Just going to respond to one thing that you said,
My first journal entry. Last acted out at 2 PM today, have destroyed 50% of the stashed p on my computer. Working on erasing the other half tonight.

I need to say this, and you will see that I say what is on my mind. but why did you only delete 50% of your stash? you could have deleted all of it at the same time. Please get rid of all of it now my friend. this is dangerous grounds that you are on if you keep any of it. I know you said you was going to delete it, but I just want to make sure that you do. you are here for a fresh start in this addiction, and I just want to see you do well in your recovery

I will come back to see if you have posted anything new. we are here for you scott

[ScottM]

I am having a crummy morning, but thankful that I am pf! I wiped my stash 100%

[Phil413]

I am having a crummy morning, but thankful that I am pf! I wiped my stash 100%

Excellent job, Scott! Now I hope you'll take the next step, if you haven't already, and cut off any further access to that stuff. It's very important, especially in the early days, to put yourself in a safe, P-free environment as much as possible. Just as a recovering alcoholic shouldn't live in a liquor store, so guys like us shouldn't have unfiltered access to the Internet. I recommend using the K9 filter. It's free and it works really well.

Best of luck to you!

Phil

[CJnOhio]

Welcome to the board. You'll learn a lot here.

You need a plan. Deleting your porn stash and claiming will power will not do it. Delete your access to porn. As Phil said, you need a filter. A filter on your computer, iphone, ipad, mobile device, home computer, work computer, etc. I also use K9. I made up a random password, emailed it to my accountability partner. I have no access to to porn on the computer...period. K9 is a good filter...it allows customization.

Get an accountability partner. You need someone that will help you with this. Plenty of people here are willing to help. You just need to ask.

Work on some type of program...SA, SettingCaptivesFree.com, RecoveryNation.com....educate yourself, and choose one

Post here daily! Let us know how you are doing. We are all pulling for you.

[ScottM]

Thank you Phil & CJ for suggesting K9. I have installed it.
CJ, thanks for those program site suggestions, I will check them out.
Next I am posting request for an accountability partner. Thank you so much for the encouragement in the early stages! I don't feel alone now, rather I feel like I just got a couple of superheroes in my corner!

[Phil413]

Thank you Phil & CJ for suggesting K9. I have installed it.
CJ, thanks for those program site suggestions, I will check them out.
Next I am posting request for an accountability partner. Thank you so much for the encouragement in the early stages! I don't feel alone now, rather I feel like I just got a couple of superheroes in my corner!

Sounds like you're off to a terrific start! Way to go! =D>

Phil

[ScottM]

24 to go.... >:D<

[IN NEED OF HELP]

24 to go.... >:D<

good start my friend. I want to see you keep going strong. we are all rooting for you