optomistic start

[IN NEED OF HELP]

I'm feeling okay today. I've been struggling with forgiving myself for the slips over the weekend, but it is getting better. I get really down after i slip up, but this only leads to more slips until i hit rock bottom. Once at the bottom, i am able to maintain sobriety for a few days, but then i either get too confident or forget about my addiction. I wish i was able to get back on my feet quicker. I'm glad i figured out how to block my access and i am hopeful this will make this attempt successful.

Glad you are doing ok today my friend. The thing is, with this addiction, we can never allow ourself to get down if and when we slip. If we slip, the feeling of letting ourselves down because of this can be a dangerous thing. Most of us addicts, used Porn at times in our lives when we are down. and this is what got us to this mess in the first place. And be assured my friend, this is what this beast wants us to do. he would love to see us get so low on ourselves, that he can find a way to wiggle in a little more, to get us to go so low, that we go all out with our addiction again.

So now is when we need to just say DAMN IT, I screwed up. Try to see what happened to allow this beast to take control at this time, and fix it. So you slipped. It is not the end of the world because it happened. It is also NOT the end of your recovery either. Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off, find new weapons, and continue to fight this beast. This time, fight him with much more power. when he comes after you, just kick his ass, and show him who the most powerful one really is. Never back down to him, because, he will never back down to you. You now have a full army with you in this battle. You have your entire TTF family backing you up, and rooting for you. So yes you can beat this beast, and you can take him down.
Stop dwelling on the fact that you slipped. Now dwell on what it is that you can do better in your recovery, to beat him.

Good luck to you my friend. you are not ever alone here

[still_trying94]

Keeping coming back here and trying Ski. In these early stages, look at the big picture. If you went 5 days porn-free, then slipped 2 days, and then went 5 more days, look at it like you just went 10/12 days porn-free. Build on that. That's what I did. I've been on here consistently since November. I'm just now on Day 19. It took many, many starts and stops. I even had weeks where I just binged day after day. Then on eday, it just clicked and here I am. I'm not saying I'm not going to slip again. I hope I don't, but I know I might. And if I do, I'll be right back here again. Keep it going. You can do this!

[Phil413]

I'm not saying I'm not going to slip again. I hope I don't, but I know I might. And if I do, I'll be right back here again.

Totally love this attitude!

Phil

[ski218]

Thanks everyone for the posts and support. I feel great today and I'm ready to conquer the day. I am going to work on my view of slipping. I hope and will try my hardest to make sure it doesn't happen, but if it does, i am going to pick myself up right away and get back on here to work on my recovery. I feel a lot stronger today and have a pretty busy day in front of me. Thanks ttf comunity for the support, you really helped me through this tough moment.

[ski218]

I have had a really good day and i am feeling strong in my battle. I did a lot of thinking about slipping and thinking about how to better handle it. I am in a state of recovery and it isn't so much about my day count, but how i spend each moment of each day. I feel like i get caught up in the day count, and it makes it more depressing when i slip. I need to be focused on my recovery every day, and if i lose focus for a minute and slip, i am going to get right back on focus and keep going forward. A large day count is great, but my serious attempt to fix this addiction started the day i came to this site and i will work my hardest every day until i am successful.

I also did a lot of thinking and reading about what the SOs go through in this battle. I was too young to see the effect alcohol and gambling did to my parents, but i was always aware of the enormous impact the addiction has on the SO. I never want my SO to go through that pain and suffering. I feel lucky to have caught this addiction early, and i have a chance to fix my problem before it causes relationship issues. P has only been around for about half of my 3 year relationship, but it has grown and become more upsetting to me. I dont want my SO to have feelings of inadequacy, distrust, anger, embarassment, jealousy, and all the other emotions better expressed in the SO journals, particularly a post by Hope Phul in the best of ttf thread.

Those are just a few of my thoughts today. I am glad to have had a successful day and i will be ready for tomorrow. I cant stop saying thanks for all the posts because each one makes me a little stronger.

Thanks and good luck

[ski218]

I had a great day today. I am feeling strong and keeping busy which has kept any urges away. I have been getting on here every morning to make sure that this fight is on the top of my mind. I read some good posts today from phil's journal about always keeping focus because this addiction can sneak up whether you are in the first week or months down the line. It will be important for me to never let down my guard because this addiction can attack again any poiny in my life. I am going to try and keep spending some time each morning thinking and learning about this addiction and analyzing my day for times when the urge might attack.

[ski218]

Everything is still going well. Urges were around a little yesterday, but i was so busy and never had alone time so they quickly went away. I am trying to refocus any energy from the urge into my relationship. This helps improve my relationship and helps convert the urge into something positive. I will be having quite a bit of free time this afternoon, so i am going to stay out of the house for most of it and get some errands done. Even though i have eliminated my access, i know the best option is still to avoid any situation where i am alone, bored, and could turn to p and mb. I am going to have to be careful tonight and over the weekend. I used to not have troubles at these times because i spent them with my SO, but last weekend the addiction found a way to win. I am going to be more aware tonight and the rest of this weekend. I will not let the addiction win this weekend. Thanks for the support and good luck in your own personsal struggles!

[ski218]

First week of sobriety complete, and i am feeling great. I had a real busy weekend with SO and friends which helped keep the urges away. Today is the start of my second week, and i am ready to work on getting through today. I will be alone at home until late tonight, so i am preparing myself for any urge that might come. I will try to spend most my time out of the house getting work done. I also plan to spend some time on these forums learning more about this addiction and strategies to stay strong. I am working to remain focused every day, because i know the day that i dont think about this addiction will be the day the urge tries to take over. I am also trying to stop my brain from having inappropriate thoughts whenever i see an attractive girl in person or on tv. This is getting harder as the days go on because i think this addiction is looking for anything to feed it and bring it pleasure. I will continue to work on this.

[WhiteWolf]

great work on your first week!!! keep focused!

[IN NEED OF HELP]

First week of sobriety complete, and i am feeling great. I had a real busy weekend with SO and friends which helped keep the urges away. Today is the start of my second week, and i am ready to work on getting through today.
I am also trying to stop my brain from having inappropriate thoughts whenever i see an attractive girl in person or on tv. This is getting harder as the days go on because i think this addiction is looking for anything to feed it and bring it pleasure. I will continue to work on this.

First, good to hear my friend that you have gone pass a week in this addiction. It is always good when we are to busy to get the urges. I am seeing that is the most important thing we can do with this addiction. I am very proud about you completing week one. Keep it up.

You are so right about this addiction looking for other things to feed on. this beast just makes it look like he went away, but what he is really doing, is sitting around hiding, lurking about ,just waiting for the right time to sneak in a little. So this is why we need to ALWAYS be on guard against him

Never give up, you are doing good so far in this recovery. When those urges come around, fight them off. this Monster is a fighter, but you can prove to him that you also are a fighter, but only stronger