Walking to freedom, feb 14

[Ibrahim]

Dear friends,

I have tried to get rid of the addiction several times, once I managed one year and thought I was safe, but I betrayed myself. Now I am trying once again, starting from feb 14. I feel down today and I hate myself for having such a dirty addiction.

[Ibrahim]

Day 1, no temptations yet. I will be working for 16 hours until tomorrow, so I am safe, God willing.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Dear friends,

I have tried to get rid of the addiction several times, once I managed one year and thought I was safe, but I betrayed myself. Now I am trying once again, starting from feb 14. I feel down today and I hate myself for having such a dirty addiction.

Ibrahim
I am glad to see that you realize that you need help. This one addiction that we can not do on our own. we need other people like us, that do understand what this addiction is all about, to get through this.

You need to know that it doesn't matter if we One year, Two years, or even Fives years under our belt in being Porn free. This monster, is a very Sneaky and Cleaver monster. The one thing that it loves to do, is to attack us when we think that we are Safe. With this addiction, there are no Safe zones, no Comfort zone that we can reach. We will need to fight this battle with this beast for a very long time. But if we make the many changes that are needed to be made, we can have a very good recovery.

All we can do with this addiction, is to work on it at every point in our life. We just need to protect our hearts from anything that can trigger us to fall. if we do fall, just get right back up, never be down on yourself, and get right back in to this fight. We will have a time in our life, that we will beat this thing.

Good luck to you my friend in your recovery

[2frustrated]

No need to hate yourself. How would you treat a loved one if you knew he or she had an overwhelming addiction? Treat yourself that way. Love yourself.

[Ibrahim]

Thank you guys for your uplifting words! "In need of help", you are totally right that having an addiction implies that we are never safe, we have to realize when we are vulnerable. And "2frustrated", I agree, we should hate our dirty actions, not ourselves.

Day 3 has passed (I am a European), and I am still clean :-) And I feel clean, no temptations today.

[Jon]

Ibrahim,

"I hate myself for having such a dirty addiction."

I know exactly how you feel, I have felt the same myself many times over the 13 years I have been a PA.

Stay strong!

Jon

(I am a Muslim BTW)

[likeafish34]

You're amongst friends here. I think we know how you feel. I've given it up loads of times before, but always gone back to it and when I relapse I get deeper into it.
I've only been free for 5 days so far, bit the difference is that I'm now accessing this site and benefiting both from reading other guys stories and by getting encouragement by other members.
This time i think i can beat it.
Keep going down this path. It leads to freedom.

Simon

[Ibrahim]

Day 7 has almost passed, and I am still clean. No real temptations either during this period, and that fact actually makes me afraid. Because I will be really tested when I am exposed to temptations, and that frustrates me; I am not confident that I will be strong enough to resist when the temptation is present.

My objective now is to stay clean also this following week, I think I have to take one week at a time initially. And I need to set barriers for the temptations, for instance no staring, not clicking onto news or websited with females showing too much. This is mind control.

But I am not only frustrated, I also feel that I am changing, I am less irritable, I have more time and I am happier. I went skiing with this weekend, it was great!

Likeafish34: It helps a lot to be among friends, it motivates when I visit the TTF forum. We have a common fight, we should that the whole world becomes porn free.

Jon: Interesting that you are also a Muslim, this illustrates that all of us here, whether we are Christians, Jews, Hindus or atheists, have a common cause fighting one of the commonest and most dangerous addictions in the present time. What I find fascinating is that all the Abrahamic religions speak about not even getting close to temptations, not stare at our women - but mainstream media culture is teaching to obey our lust and primitive inclinations. I think, indepedent of our religious beliefs, we need to stress this point, that we need barriers in our lives.

[Teemo]

Ibrahim,

It is good to hear your thoughts on this addiction. I have been a member here for a few weeks. I agree completely that we need barriers in our lives. Somehow, in my outer life that people see, I have those barriers in place. It is in my inner life, my private thoughts, that barriers are needed. I have learned from my faith what those barriers/guidelines/ideals are all about, but I have not let them form my heart. It is never too late. I'm trying now.

Teemo

[CurseTheBeast]

Ibrahim,

I'm right there with you as far as days go, although this is my first attempt. I offer you my support and even thought I don't know what to expect. I see follow members here talking about goals or a particular amount of days that are particularly troublesome.

To put it in prospective (at least how I see it) the hardest day is the day before you made the first step to recovery. All the others while difficult and troublesome should be of a somewhat less degree of difficulty.

Don't forget, you can climb over a boulder only to trip on the pebble on the other side. Yes the guilt will be tremendous, but picking yourself up and getting back on the path we all want to follow.

May God bless you and give you the strength to overcome this addiction and all of the things that are put in your way by the Demon. Praise God and Curse the Beast!