Viper's Story

[Viper66]

I am another NP Support Transplant. I started having problems with compulsive MB about two and a half years ago I guess. My wife found out about this ugly habit and in November 2008 we started to get help with it.

I have had a roller coaster of a ride that I'm sure is so much better than my wife's experience has been!

Over the last six months or so I really started to feel better about myself and made progress towards sobriety. I hadn't completely quit and told my wife that. You can imagine how that went over! Last Saturday I installed K-9 on my computer and had her change the password.

Part two in a little while!

Viper

[Bryan]

Welcome Viper, glad to have you here with us.

[Misty-Eyed Matthew]

Welcome to the family, Viper66. I'm glad your taking your recovery seriously. Will your wife join here also? Because there are other SO's (wives) that are here to help deal with what she is going through & they are very understanding group for which my SO is one of them. I hope to read more of your story soon. Again welcome to TTF.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Viper66

Welcome to TTF,
I am so happy that you found your way here. We will do all we can to help you in your fight with your addiction. As you probably already know, this addiction has its ups and downs. It can sneak up on us at any given time or day and anywhere. their are always triggers in front of us. It truly sucks how we as men have allowed this crap to overpower us, and take full control. Porn is not a friend. All it wants to do is destroy everything in its path. We have allowed it to almost destroy what we hold so dearly in our lives, OUR FAMILIES. So we need to take action now to take full control of US, and come out being a winner in this. May one day us men will find a way to stop KILLING OUR SO"s with all the crap we do. I do wish for the best in your recovery. We are all in this together, so we will fight this together

[Viper66]

Part Two:

I don't look at "recovery" as being a bad thing. In fact, I believe it's a great thing. While I am getting better I am also able to concentrate on all the other aspects of my being that were neglected for so long.

I can't believe I waited so long to install K-9 on my last computer. I had it on all my other computers and my wife also used Spector Pro on them. Just having K-9 on here makes all my temptations go away. I went from being tempted most of the time to not being tempted at all.

I plan on coming back here and posting once a day or so. NP Support still isn't working right and I don't want to post a lot and then see it disappear.

My wife did not want to join NP Support as a spouse and probably will not join here either. She believes getting better is best left up to me. I think she needs some help and support as much as I do but respect her wishes. Besides, If I get better and we have more time for the wounds to heal we will be okay.

I look forward to reading other folks stories here.

Viper

[Phil413]

Hi Viper, I'm really glad you're here. I've enjoyed reading your story, and I had a similar experience with K9 and other strategies I've used to put P out of reach. Once I knew I couldn't get to it anyway, it really took the wind out of the addiction's sails.

Again, welcome aboard. I really look forward to following your progress.

Phil

[JenMac]

Welcome Viper!
I am glad you are here! TTF is a wonderful support for you at this time!
I am sorry your wife will not join us as I feel TTF has been a lifeline in my recovery from this pain in my life. I feel like I would not be where I am today had it not been for the support of the people on this site. Perhaps she will change her mind if you share the resources of TTF with her.
I am glad you are committing to your recovery Viper! The filter is a great tool to use and also a way of showing your wife that you are serious in fighting this in your life.
Wishing you all the best as you move ahead in your recovery Viper!
Jenn

[Viper66]

I looked forward to coming here this morning. I like this site more and more as my posts don't get lost and I recognize people from NPS.

How does my recovery look today? I feel good about it. I have had ZERO temptations since K-9 Day. My mind doesn't even get stuck there in temptation land. Getting ahold of P would take effort and time which gives me opportunity to redirect my thoughts. That's huge with this junk! Time to snap out of it and do something else.

My biggest/best advice for someone new at fighting this addiction is to install a filter on ALL your computers and have someone else know the password. That one step makes your live so much easier.

I know 10 ways I could look at P. I simply don't want to. Every day that goes by without being tempted is beautiful.

I will let my past be my past. I have HAD a problem with compulsive MB. Past tense. If I keep working on it the propblem will remain in my past and I will be a better person because of it. I am ashamed of what I have done. I feel the guilt. I understand I have hurt my wife, family and myself. I also cannot undo the past but can only change my present and future to be better. I will NOT let the guilt and shame drag me back!

All temptation has been missing from my life for 5 days. All obsesive thoughts are gone. I don't miss that crap at all!

Viper

[Misty-Eyed Matthew]

Glad to read such a positive post. I'm also glad that the K9 filter is working for you. Stay strong & keep it up!

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Viper66

So nice to see you back. It is so encouraging to see that you are taking every effort in your life to beat this. I love it. Isn't it a wonderful feeling to have just a few days of no porn in it? I like how you say you Past is your Past, that is just what it is, the past. All we can do, is to make a new person in us, and change what we have done. now is the time to try to fix all the pain that we have put not only on us, but the pain that we caused in our family. I hate the pain that us men put on our SO"s. that pain my never leave them, but it will get better.

I just want to wish you the best my friend in this battle. I know you can beat this monster into submission, and have it not bother you anymore