I Will Succeed

[Chaddc]

It has been one week since I decided to, once again, try to make a lifelong change by giving up p. I refuse to give p the respect of a P. It is not deserving of respect, and it has no place in my life.

As I look back over the years, really from the time I was a teenager, I realize this has been an escalating problem -- starting with magazines, moving on to VHS tapes (remember those?!) and finally arriving at internet p. But if I am to be honest, I also must admit that it has affected my life in more "human" ways. By this I mean that I have used others for my own sexual gratification, be it through one-night stands or relationships that I sabotaged from the start.

This isn't the first time I have said "Enough of this. I WILL change," and it may not be the last, but I am ready to accept that I may fall down. However, there is no shame in falling down. The shame comes in not now getting back up, realizing why I fell down, and deciding that I am going to keep moving ahead, stronger for having fallen and more determined to succeed!

I continue to repeat this phrase whenever I am tempted to return to my old, destructive ways: "How is what I am doing at this moment helping me to move forward?"

One week and counting. I will succeed!

[paulmor909]

Very common back than starting with magazines, today is the internet! Congratulations are your decision to begin recovery once again! P does affect the mind and prospective. I know for me all my ideas about S and women came from P and that translated into real life in my S encounters and relationships. So don't feel about it because that's normal if you derive your information from the P world. I am trying to undo that after several decades (for the past 2 months). But it's a daily thing, take each day as it comes and fight the battle of recovery! I say battle meaning "challenge"! :)

[Chaddc]

Today is the beginning of my second week without p, and I cannot express how good I feel, how happy I am, and how much I have accomplished with all the free time! Let this never end!

I am not saying the temptation hasn't been there, because it certainly has. That temptation is harder to resist for me since I work at home about 1/3 of the workweek. In the past I would "reward" myself with some p whenever I completed a task or project. I have come to realize that I wasn't rewarding myself, I was punishing myself. Now when I am tempted to reward myself by looking at p, I get up, walk away from the computer, go do about 5 minutes of housework, and repeat "How will looking at p help me to move ahead?" It won't! When the temptation is really pushing me, I go for a walk outdoors or go across the street and sit in the coffee shop and read the newspaper -- anything to not let p back into my life!

Going to the gym to get some exercise has always been a good way for me to refocus, and after reading here how many of the TTF members do the same, I have increased my trips to the gym, focusing on strengthening my body while I continue to strengthen my mind.

I don't want to pat myself too heartily on the back here, but I am very proud that I can say it has been two weeks without looking at ANY p, including soft p. Thank you all for your support. TTF members have been behind me all the way, and I am so thankful for you. Be well, everyone

Chad

[paulmor909]

For me I gained new strength and fortitude by fighting temptations. In month 2 I had the battle most of the month, some were horrendous! So I think if you take your DESIRE to quit P, and than combine that with success at resisting temptations, you will get stronger. Doing something else sounds like a very good plan. I have heard it said more than once you MUST replace P with something new. Your doing a good job, keep it going!

[Chaddc]

Thanks for the encouragement, Paulmor. You are right that fighting the temptation does provide strength. Sometimes the fight seems overwhelming, but you just have to keep on fighting!