10,000 hours = mastery

[johnny5]

I read somewhere that 10,000 hours in something is the
minimum time it takes to master some thing...

With I.P, I think I would be the destruction of your conscience.
I calculated I had a little over 5,000 hours...

I'm sick of wasting my life and want to devote my time to better endevors. This is day 3 of my sobriety journal. I'm honestly less concerned with the number of days than not adding anymore precious hours to his horrible count. Good luck to everyone here and I hope we can all achive the life we deserve.

[johnny5]

day 4,

Procrastination seems to be my biggest trigger. Being a scholar,I find this can be difficult one to avoid. Several papers are due next week, so I should start on them now.

Starting to feel that urge to look. But I'm committed to this course. I'm glad I can seelp without M now. Takes about and hour though. Comitment + action = results

[johnny5]

day 1.
Had a slip yesterday. I had P in my trash can on my laptop and
ended up looking. M, but no O though (I know TMI). The thought of adding more time to the 5,000 hours really hurts... I feel fantastic though, like I'm high on an enegy drink. Another member mentioned something about "failing foreward" ... the phrase kept running in my mind as I slowly deleted my P files... so yeah, I failed, but it was a failure in the right direction since I no longer have P on my computer and did not fully reinforce the P cycle through M and O.

Good luck to anyone else in the struggle.

[2frustrated]

Keep it going. You're on the right track and have the right attitude. Wasted time can't be retrieved. Your papers are more important. When you look back on your life, how do you want to remember it? You want your life to mean something. You want to have an impact. P is a trap, a distraction, something that's trying to destroy your mission in life. You have no use for it any more. It is refuse, and part of the past. You are free.

[johnny5]

day 2-

HUGE temtation. A girl, who I can only describe in short as a utter flirt, toyed with my emotions and made me feel small. Maybe that's what I get for thinking with the wrong head. On top of that my Japanese class had a music preformance and I, not really being comfortable with the language, felt left out and really inferior. why can't people just be nice, or at least polite and distant?

At the end of the day, I really felt like M and looking at P, but I didn't. Why let them control my life. Maybe they got the best of me in the moment, but that moment has passed.

In the process, I found out that being left out and treated as an inferior is a huge trigger for me. To avoid this next time, I won't aknowledge the flirty girl or anyone in the japanese class. I'll be distant, but polite to keep the peace. Nothing is worth adding more time to that horrible 5,000 hours....nothing

[dave42]

Johnny: This is so wise of you: "I found out that being left out and treated as an inferior is a huge trigger for me." What you are doing is helping all of us to see how integrated our addiction is with the rest of our lives. Thank you! Please keep these insights coming as they are helping all of us. The minute I feel inferior, I must take a deep breath and ask, "Is whatever I'm engaged in worth my recovery?" Thanks!

[johnny5]

Day 3-

This forum has been such a great help to my battle! Thank you so much for the support and upbuilding comments- It means worlds to me. A very special thanks to dave42 and 2fustrated for their kindness. This site is proof that the interent can be used for good, not just selfishness...

I figured out that procrastination-my biggest trigger, can be fixed by 1) setting realistic goals 2) avoiding expectations of anykind and 3) avoiding perfectionism... be a C student before being an A student...lol

I'm really noticing even just 3 days sober changes you...you feel stronger, more energetic, more confident and you even look and smell better ( weird one, I know). Sleeping without M still takes time for me, but I guess that's normal...

I'm trying hard to avoid sexual thoughts for now, just for maybe 90 days... it's only been 3 days...but I feel so free

[Broken Trust]

Hi Johnny,

I'm glad you're staying strong. I just read an article about the 10,000 hour thing, and I've yet to see how much I've put into P! I'm a bit apprehensive about doing that. Recently I've started thinking about how much P has affected my thinking/outlook.

To that end, my own personal goal is to un-sexualize my thoughts, about anyone other than my SO. It's amazing how prevalent it is now that I'm taking notice. Hang in there! We're out here for you if you feel a need for support.

-BT

[johnny5]

had a slip the yesterday... P and M... didn't fully consumate though... It was less than an hour...maybe 35 min...

day 1 today

the old routines of P almost seem sentimental on a bad day
when no one seems to really notice you... but in the end...
I know that any comfort I get from internt P with lead me further
down to mastery of ignoring my conscience... how do other people deal with the nasty parts of life?

like Mr.Balboa says... it's not hard you hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep on going...

[2frustrated]

Nothing like an inspiring quote from R. Balboa . . . thanks.

As for your slip, acknowledge the accomplishment of only doing it for 35 minutes. It could have been three hours. 35 minutes. Not bad. There was a voice in the back of your head telling you to quit it, and you did.