NoName1969's Journal

[Noname1969]

I am 41 years old and my first exposure to P was when I was 9 or 10. My cousin worked with his father who owned a convenience store where they also sold P. They had stock of P magazine in the bathroom. My cousin simply showed them to me, he told me he secretly looked at them while he had the door closed.

Then when I was 14 my father also owned a convenience store. This is where I secretly looked at them and even tried to take out of the without getting caught. I got caught a few times and eventually I gave up.

Then in high school when I was old enough to buy my own P I started looked at them at a rare occasion. Even since then I would watch P for certain duration however the last 10 years I would frequently look at P. The last 8 years I have been living alone so I had a lot of time to myself.

To be truthful I start MB and was MB pretty frequently however P added more "excitement" which led me to chronic MB. I simply couldn't stop even if I wanted to. It's been since this recent Saturday since I haven't MB and haven't looked at P since Friday, so tomorrow will be one week.

[gideon]

Hi, welcome to the club. I'm in my 40s too. Seems a common story in our generation -- the friend's father's "stash" in the back closet, the stolen magazine passed from grubby hand to hand in middle school, the lucky find abandoned in the rotting leaves behind the shopping mall...relatively mild exposure but which set up certain pathways and affinities in the brain. Quite frankly if P had remained the way it was in my childhood..soft focus lingerie ads basically...I wouldn't be here. The day I got broadband, however, all those curious interests that were sparked back then were suddenly confronted with the overkill that is P today. Like an occasional beer drinker taking a full barrel of crack. Recognizing the problem, triggers, journaling, mitigation measures...these things all help and P free life is possible. And very worth it. This forum offers many practical solutions. Glad you have joined the fight. good luck G.

[Noname1969]

Thanks, I was a chronic MB just that P fueled the fire and just made a lot more frequent most of the time. Watching P has been on and off thing for me even the last few years, it might have lasted a few months then for a while I didn't watch it.

This is a challenge for me, I think this makes things more exciting and make me more determined to succeed.