TheLlama's Journal

[TheLlama]

Day 1:
Today, so far, has been relatively easy. I now know that I am on a new journey; one which takes me somewhere away from the mindless wandering about in circles. I feel clear-headed, positive. Though it has been hard to think of anything other than this new journey all day, I don't mind. I expect tomorrow will not be as easy; much less, the day after.

I've just got home from work, and sat down at my computer to type this. Previously, this would be when I would start looking at P. It was my daily routine - come home, sit down, P & MB to numb my mind, until I am running late for my evening social plans.

I got a Thai massage last night, as a reward to myself for starting this journey (and deleting my stash). This brought the extra benefit today of being able to (physically) stand straight & tall, and hold my head erect (I've long had posture problems), which in turn, compounded the "Can Do" attitude I've felt today.

I was also (more-or-less) on time for work today. Until now, my punctuality has been slipping, due to often looking for P in the mornings, 1/2hr; 3/4hr; sometimes even 1hr late. Nobody said anything to me about it, because my workplace is pretty flexible.

Tonight will be spent tidying & cleaning my apartment. This is something which I am not very good at, and reluctant to do. I find any excuse to avoid it (usually P). I don't have a choice this time, as my family is coming over on Friday. I shall post a photo of my handiwork later tonight, to prove that I did it. Somebody pull me up on it if I don't.

EDIT: Yes, I did clean up. Took me all evening (less a break for dinner). Here's my (mostly) tidy apartment: http://i948.photobucket.com/albums/a...lama/clean.jpg

[StarPuppy]

Looks cosy but anyways great that you taken the first step but have you installed k9? Fix up a plan kater on and discuss in here, i am sure all of us are willing to help o:-)

[TheLlama]

k9 won't work for me - I'm a Linux user, not Windows or Mac. I could maybe try DansGuardian, but I think that any filtering software would be too easy for me to disable / bypass.

I've set my router to use OpenDNS FamilyShield. The blocking isn't perfect, but hopefully enough to keep me away from the 'usual haunts'. Also, hopefully enough of a PITA to disable that it'll give me enough time to think about what I'm doing.

[TheLlama]

Day 2:
Another relatively easy day. I found my thought swinging towards P a few times at work today, but recognised it, and stopped myself.

I've reduced my internet plan. I previously had 30GB/month. Now I have 10GB/month. Without P, I shouldn't need 30GB any more. I estimate that 80% of my data usage was P.

[TGC]

I hope you all the luck in the world, my story is simillar.

Except my wife thinks I'm scum and wants rid of me.

I found that cleaning was quite therapeutic

The last time was caught I stopped using the computer and didn't use P for months, then had a new phone and started again.

Here I am now on day 2 and looking at divorce.

GOOD LUCK

[TheLlama]

Another P free evening tonight meant that I was on time for my dance class, managed to have dinner beforehand (I would previously often go hungry until I got back at 11:30pm), and not stressed. Hooray!

[StarPuppy]

Great job on being clean..i am worried about you being a IT guy or programmer (my guess actually..not much peole use Linux) able to take down your web filter..there s a little problem..a web filter is your line of defence should your willpower fail =/

[TheLlama]

i am worried about you being a IT guy or programmer

I'm not it IT professionally, but I am fairly technically knowledgeable.

Today will be difficult, I expect, as I am not working, and will be home all day. Fridays have always been difficult for this reason. I have often wasted half a day or more on Fridays, just looking at P. I wonder how much other stuff I can get done today without it?

[TheLlama]

So, I've been away from TTF when I should have been posting.

I neglected coming back to the forum because life got pretty busy. Being busy meant two things:
1) I didn't have time for P (or TTF)
2) I started to get stressed.

I've figured that my main 'triggers' are stress and boredom; so as soon as I had a moment free, what happened? My brain wanted to relieve the stress, and I lapsed a week ago. For the last week, I haven't felt the desire to try again.

I managed to stay off P for 2 weeks. Despite my lapse, 2 weeks is probably a record for me, so I'm going to call it the first stepping stone, and pick up the pieces and start again. This time, I'll try for 4 weeks.

[Charly22]

What are your reasons for taking on the task of removing this from your life?