Journal of new SO

[Life-lies-trust]

LearningPatience,
I have found that I had to state in BLACK and WHITE very clearly with all provisions covered what the rules are. If the addict has a little wiggle room they will act out. Remember the addictive brain will justify anything to get a fix. None of this is logical and most of it is not living in the real world that we live in. This is all about him and what HE wants and the addict cares for nothing including themselves. The only thing for the addict is the next fix in the cycle of addiction.

HUGS to you.

[LearningPatience]

I feel lost, confused, angry, bewildered and just not loved. This is crazy!! I told him I thought we should separate because in all honesty, I don't think I can be the support he needs. For whatever reason, I won't demand he get treatment. Probably because I can't force him to do it as he has to want to do it. Given the slightest bit of room, he uses it to do exactly what he wants. He finds no reason to get help as he only falters when I'm not there. This shit is getting ridiculous! I haven't left yet as I really want the kids to finish school. Then I'll worry about it. I told him I wouldn't take my wedding rings off again...Although I feel like our marriage is a sham. On some level, I think he believes that since he's finished his apprenticeship program, that he's "entitled" to do whatever he wants. Funny as that's what he's been doing all along! I don't love him the way I used to. I love him like he's a friend. :-<