Flight to the Stars/Skies - StarPuppy Journal/Diary

[StarPuppy]

Hello to everyone in TTF, its been long time( I was back now and then lurking) and i am back hoping that 2010 will be a better year for me and everyone

I would like to start off that I won't be doing a Recovery Journal but more of a Discussion Journal/Diary. I don't want to focus my attention on how many Days I am P-Free but rather focusing my attention on improving myself. With that saying, i do not plan on relapsing but i won't take it so hard if i do.

I hope that i can make my journal where people can discuss about how we tackle life problems and i believe it will make our fight against P much easier as usually a bad day= Relapsing into P

I would also like to thank EVERYBODY regardless they posted advice or just dropped into my previous journal to have a look. You guys are great in your own way

Before I end up starting to sound like a exaggerated fella, Let me wrap this up for todays post.

TTF, both the forum structure itself and the members have made me feel very much at home, Although i do not know everybody and we are timezones apart, I love the warm feeling of everybody giving advice and scolding( taking a non nonsense stance at times) to each other to "get back up and stand tall". I feel that I am with a family instead of a forum.

To the Good Future Ahead, Amen :)

I am going off for my evening run, chances that i won't be back, have a good evening everyone

Your Heavenly Pet
StarPuppy

[FoolishMind]

Best of luck buddy!

Remember focus less on the hoping and wishing, and just concentrate on the doing, and your goals will come to fruition very soon.

FM

[artguy34]

Thanks Starpuppy,

I like that you feel we are like a family. Dysfunctional probably, but hey, were here for healing and support, not bickering and bashing right? So Im glad you feel good posting here!

No matter what avenue you take to heal and recover from your addiction, I hope you are successful! We all may have different ways to fight our addiction, but as long as they work, they're never wrong! :)

Good Luck in 2010 and I hope we can look back and reflect on a great year together! >:D<

[Zibble]

Hi StarPuppy,

Thanks so much for all your advice and help yesterday. I was feeling really low, and you did a lot to help me up and out of it. This really is an amazing forum, as you say; I never thought that I would find a mere website that made me feel as welcome and cared for as this one has.

See ya round,
Zibble

[StarPuppy]

*yawns* 0615 here..brain a little slow and sleepy
Hmm, Firstly off, i would like to reply to the comments above before starting my Diary

FM> Thanks, will fight the P urge by dropping into chat and to everyone journal but don't afraid to hold back the harsh but truthful words when you need to use it against me(my previous journal) sometimes it serves as a wake up call

Arty> Yep yep, Crissy is my "sister", you are my "brother" if you want and FM is the pet "monkey" and i am the pet "dog"..I will add more as i chat to you guys more often but anyway to the good year ahead *raises glass*

Zibble>hey no worries, i feel for you, i know how some PA have really low self-confidence but sometimes you have to stop bashing yourself and give yourself some credit even tho we are PA, at least, we are trying our best admitting we have a issue and fighting it. Drop by more often, love to see you around

--------------------

Anyway to start my journal. Firstly i would like to thank everybody who came in to the chat the previous morning to give me moral and emotional support, we sure had good time by joking around, I liked the horsing around although i didn't see much advice :D *blames on Monkey running around nude* take no offense FM o:-) *and also the chat for being weird*

Yesterday was a good day, a little quiet but good overall. I won't be coming in today as i will be on guard duty tonight and will only be back tomorrow night(I have to stay in camp)

Nothing much to talk about today..brain a little sleepy tho =x well, i will go take a bath and go to work now

Take care all

Your Heavenly Resident Dog,
StarPuppy

[Mefree]

Hey again SP!
I'm glad you enjoyed the chat. I also partially blame myself for the lack of advice. You should have seen me. I was typing away with a stupid grin on my face the whole time!
Not to mention I'm laughing at what you said about FM being the pet monkey.

Sounds like you've got some good plans for fighting urges; you already dropped into chat once today when you felt one coming on! Your determination is beyond commendable, if I can say so myself. Enjoy your bath (:)) and keep at it!

[Crisodian]

I like being the big sister :)

I don't have any real life brothers so that means a lot to me SP.

Just remember ... when the urges hit life change means change of routine.

Peace,
~C~

[Crisodian]

Little brother,
I hope you have a good, strong, clean day today. One day at a time!

Peace,
~C~

[StarPuppy]

Good morning all,

nothing much to post today, a little sleepy, i haven had time or chance to catch up with rest of the journal. I am still tired from my army guard duty and i might be staying back OverTime to help my boss because i offered to help him and hes a nice guy who got too much work..so yeah *yawns*

[StarPuppy]

ok, first off, relapsed and at this point now i don't know what to say..
self pity..nope not it
angry..not it either
numb..maybe thats it
lost..that too


my girl knows i am a person with high MB drive..i want to feel that "feeling" when i reach the peak. as long as i don't tell her that i relapse, she won't feel upset or neither will she ask.

i been thinking and talking to Sis Crissy but frankly speaking, i don't have a strong reason(e.g: marriage) to quit but at the same time i don't want to keep relapsing and feel tired the next day.

nothing much to post today..thats about it