Flight to the Stars/Skies - StarPuppy Journal/Diary

[Bird-boy]

Hi, SP. :)

I just thought today, when I was making a post in my journal, that coming to this site when we're clean is a good idea. Since this is a site to help us--a positive place--that would be a good way to associate our coming here less with relapse.

Hope that idea helps.

Bird-boy

[StarPuppy]

Hi BB, I agree with you

:)

Anyways, 6 days clean and urge at a minimal level..maybe because of my promise to God?

But i feel guilty as i am a freethinker and not a christian and I will not be in the future but God is helping me and i do not worship him

[StarPuppy]

1 week clean!

Could "quote: The Holy Spirit" be cleansing me? I felt no urge to MB or watch P this whole week

Anyway I need to do some more self-improvment like stop being acting so sexually intimate with my girl and its starting to disgust her even tho i am just flirting

[StarPuppy]

I am lost, i feel that something in me is lacking, perhaps i need guidance for a higher power but yet i do not dare to ask because of the promises i broke and did not keep but i cannot fight alone, i am tired

[Crisodian]

Sp,
You're not alone. You are here. As far as a higher power goes, most "higher powers" believe in forgiveness if you are willing to ask. We all make mistakes, and sadly, many of us break promises. It's not the end. It's only the beginning.

Peace,
~C~

[Charly22]

Agreed that you are not alone. Things are not always as they appear.

And as far as "you don't dare ask"....god always forgives....god's love is unconditional.....no matter the vehicle you use to approach "him", whether that be Jesus, Mohammed, Spirituality, Nature, the unlimited resource is there for your taking! Take it!

[jrock123]

Starpuppy - I too am a religious liberal and am unsure about the existence of god. But I want to believe because believing gives me an anchor to keep me on the ground or a beacon to look towards. I think there is an inherent need for this in many people. Asking for help from a higher power is exactly why many of us need a higher power. If a higher power exists, I think forgiving and assisting people through pain is exactly why they are there. Don't feel guilty - ask for help. This is about you and your life and you should do whatever it takes to get you better. Don't be stubborn on principle here!!

jrock

[StarPuppy]

Thanks Sis, Charly and jrock

I am very grateful for your short posts of support

anyway i am gonna type my thoughts in now

Dear diary, I relapsed today despite 1 week of being clean. i know that i would break the grip of P with the help of god(note that its not caps because i felt that God would not matter if its caps or not)
but i have failed to do so as i could just blame that the devil took over me but the truth is i myself had lack the willpower to stop it.

I believe in God, Jesus, Prophet Muhammad and so on but i do believe that God himself is kind and forgiving our sins if we choose to repent. I am not a religious person but i always felt that every religion has his/her teachings would teach us not to be evil and such and i am such God does want us to change

After reading with "Have a Little Faith" by Mitch Albom, i feel that its time that i should ask for God assistance for help but at the same time, i am not a faithful follower and do not want to take back on him when my addiction to P is over/hel back

I really need help but I feel that i will not be a faithful follower according to customs and thus i feel unworthy to ask help from him but i am willing to sing praises of him because he is a kind and great God and he has blessed me with life that i am able to wake up everyday and live in safe home and safe country

What do you think?

[StarPuppy]

This post is out to everybody, like to see your views

Dear Diary, my girl is throwing a tantrum again, she lost to me in a card game and blames me for it, hey..its a game, i lost to her the week before and i was happy despite losing, because i was happy for her.

What is love? I wonder if i should stay on

- in a relationship with girl who is faithful but no similar interest/ behaviour and is always pessimistic

people always say that you overlook their bad pointsand make them stronger by complimenting each other weak points but all i feel is tired but i fear i can't find another person who is faithful to me

[jrock123]

well....the following is harsh but honest - if you are thinking you are tired of being with someone whose interests are not common, then you have your answer. you shouldn't pursue this relationship. I know couples who are the exact opposite of their mate that have great marriages. love conquers here. if you are thinking more about being worn out than being in love, stop wasting time and get out. neither of you will be happy in the long run. the goal here is happiness and not any partner that will accept you.


jrock