Flight to the Stars/Skies - StarPuppy Journal/Diary

[boris]

Thanks for sharing your experience, including your failures. We all can learn from each others' mistakes. I know that feeling of numbness and fatigue and brain deadness after MB. It's different than being intimate with my wife. When I'm with my wife, I wake up feeling renewed, and good about us and our relationship, and my self. It adds to my life.
MB robs a little piece of who I want to be, and my self worth.

[Bird-boy]

Hi SP. Did you get a chance to read those books yet? If you have, don't forget to share about it like you planned.

There is a similar (I think) book I have at home called "7 habits of highly effective teens." They're all motivational books, if I'm guesing correctly. Whenever I summarize something helpful, typing it out is like a good brain exercise--remembering all this good information; in other words, it's therapeutic.

See you on here soon :).

[StarPuppy]

Thanks for boris and BB for dropping in..means so much for me in my darkest time now :)

BB> I just done reading "Five people you met in Heaven"..i will post it later on.

[StarPuppy]

I am in a very worried mood now. my girl and i celebrated our 3 years anni and i promised her that we wouldn't have S because we were worried about pregnancy and we have the means to take care of one.

we were quite intimate and now we are worried

I prayed to God last night(I am not a religious person) . I said that please nothing happen, don't let it be that a simple mistake runi 3 lives..let me take the blame for it all

:((

Right now..i am trying to tell my girl that nothing will happen and hopefully her period will come ...

[StarPuppy]

My girl says that she thinks her period is here..i should be relived but even that is true...i think i have to thank God for my request for help..I prayed and begged for his help

and by which I will stay clean because God help me and its the least i could do in order to cleanse my sins

[boris]

Hey Star Puppy,

Hang in there and keep fighting. I noticed in an earlier post that you said that MB is starting to disgust you, but the urges are still there. That's a really good observation to make. Just focus on the disgust. I sometimes feel really cranky when I'm feeling the urge to MB, but I'm trying to view that feeling as a sign that I'm doing something right,and that it too shall pass a lot quicker that self disgust and loathing.

Congrats! you've made it a week! Be proud.

boris

[Desert Ghost]

Just a note the urge will pass in about 30 minutes, so all you need to do is occupy your mind on something else when the urge hits. An I've been told that over time the duration of the urge lessens.

[Bird-boy]

...and by which I will stay clean because God help me and its the least i could do in order to cleanse my sins

I'm not the best person to teach anything about God, being the chronic PA and unrepentant person I am at the moment, but I just wanted to mention that there is no work or action we can do ourselves to cleanse our sin away (Ephesians 2:8-9, if you want to look it up). The feeling I got from your post was "..and it's the least i could do to show my thankfulness."

[StarPuppy]

I'm not the best person to teach anything about God, being the chronic PA and unrepentant person I am at the moment, but I just wanted to mention that there is no work or action we can do ourselves to cleanse our sin away (Ephesians 2:8-9, if you want to look it up). The feeling I got from your post was "..and it's the least i could do to show my thankfulness."

BB, I am not a christian myself and my christian friend did mention that there was no such thing as doing kind deed to repay God favor bestowed , he did say if God did not help you it would be he would want you to pass this obstacle and make you stronger in the process.

However, I would like to believe otherwise, please let me fool myself, its the only way i can go clean

[StarPuppy]

4 days clean and no urge to relapse or i haven't felt anything yet..maybe its my will to cleanse my sins and prove to God that i want to change?

Anyway i hate my work..or rather my working life..I envy those who have lunch buddies..i have friends but rather we chat..mostly work stuff and thats it.

I too want to have a group of friends asking me out for lunch or out for movie, is it a crime to be quiet and a listener?

:(