Flight to the Stars/Skies - StarPuppy Journal/Diary

[StarPuppy]

(Warning:Can be very Sxually explicit!) Ok, i am here to post this quickly and i will go back to sleep because if i don't i might just relapse

I am on a slippery road here, i woke up feeling bad and want to acting out. I am one week clean, i know thats not much but i am trying very hard.

A major part of me is hurting very bad, as some of you may know that i been doing bad in my relationship and is badly in need of intimacy. I haven been intimate with my gf for 1-2 years now. We used to be ready to tear each other clothes and start lusting/fondling/MB for each other, pleasuring each other, just short of intercourse and we were very acceptable to each other mistakes.

(fast-forward to 2 years back)Now ever since she missed her period for two months and a couple of arguments down the road, now she doesn't even want to cuddle, to her kissing and saying sweet mushy words to each other is tough for her. not being sxually is ok with me since i am a Christian now and don't mind waiting for marriage. Now we hardly ever talk, our conversations always ends with arguments of me saying shes too quiet and she not wanting to share more and sometimes she will flare up at my mistakes, saying that i will never change you know how bad i want to know how shes feeling at work or her day? i don't know what shes thinking, i don't even get the basic rights of intimacy i want. I talked to her about it but shes always end up reluctant letting me cuddle but within 1-2 weeks its back to the routine.

I am so hurt, i think i am going back to sleep so i will not slip :(

[castaway16]

Hey SP, sorry you're going through a rough period in your relationship. When I read your post though, something popped into my mind. One of your biggest triggers - as it seems to me from reading your journal - is lack of intimacy. I know what you're going through currently is annoying and so, but here's thought, why don't you make this a chance to eliminate one more trigger ? You'll not be focusing too hard on cuddling with your gf (and even better, not pushing her to do so too), and along the way you will learn how to deal with the lack of intimacy thing.

[StarPuppy]

castaway, thank you for readin

I am just so in need for love :(

[HopefulsRock]

Hey StarPuppy... just got back in town and checking up on folks and it's sad to see where your at. I will say this though... your young and you have so much life ahead of you and the mere fact that your here reading, posting and just plain learning about a better way of life without P will help you greatly in how you relate and understand your partner and just in life! One thing I've finally learned now that I'm playing with a full deck at the age of 52 is that intimacy is not just about s*x. You want to fill your girl up with good emotions just try paying attention to her every word! ...respect her opinion! ...hold her hand in public and let everyone else know that she's the apple of your eye! ...write her a letter or a little poetry and leave it for her to read while your away! ...give her a hug for no reason, just because! ...take the time to just sit and talk and share feelings or stare off at the sunset or campfire! ...these things too are also very intimate and can bring you closer to your girl than you would ever imagine my young friend!

She sounds like a great girl and if she's the one for you then keep trying and maybe get more creative... patience and kindness can go a long, long way!

Best wishes to you for the strength and wisdom in your journey!

[castaway16]

SP, Hopeful's got some great advice there. If I may add to it, I didn't mean you should ignore your need for love, while this is a normal feeling, it shouldn't be a trigger for P, or you are better off at least learning how to deal with this feeling in a more productive or at least a less destructive way. I really hope you would be able to work on this with your GF, but until then, you could just use this to learn how not to be triggered every time you go through a dry spell in your relationship. Just my humble opinion.

Best wishes to you SP!