Flight to the Stars/Skies - StarPuppy Journal/Diary

[StarPuppy]

I am emotional tonight, i am lost again, same arguments occurred for the same reason again, I am tired..very tired, Is she the one for me? or do i actually need someone who is more caring and gentle and with intellect?

I feel the relationship conversation and its intrest its like a tone different a civilized person talkng to a crude person( I don't mean to offend anyone)

I don't even know exactly who or what i am but i know one thing for sure, I don't want to fall back into P, it was P that made me lose my identity. I don't want to fall back into the Pit again

[65Ford]

SP - Hang in there. I've embraced Vorlan's message of HALT. If you're Hungry, Alone, Lonely or Tired, step away from the keyboard. Sounds like you are tired.

Alas, as for the relationship issues, I'm probably far from the best person to offer advice there. Ultimately only you can answer that question for yourself. The best I can tell you is relationships require a lot of work. You don't just plant a seed and watch it grow. You've got to add water and fertilizer and pull out the weeds along the way. And watch out for rabbits and bad weather that can destroy what you've worked hard to grow.

[StarPuppy]

I saw Charly reply in my inbox but its not here but i will post a reply anyway

Our differences may be beneficial but it is the temperament of us and the thinking of each other + the interests can cause a big communcation break down and not make it beneficial anymore

[StarPuppy]

SP - Hang in there. I've embraced Vorlan's message of HALT. If you're Hungry, Alone, Lonely or Tired, step away from the keyboard. Sounds like you are tired.

Don't worry, i look upon God as my teacher and my protector, the day that i started to looked upon him was the day i stop watching P until 1 week later with a slight relapse and i told myself, "I should stop taking advantage of the kindness that He has given me, I might not have the 2nd chance to redeem myself anymore" :)

[boris]

SP, I have to run to work, so I have to be quick. Regarding your relationship: A good indicator as to whether it's worth pursuing, is that the more you are with her the more you want to be with her, and the more secure you feel. That's something only you can answer.

A friend of mine made this sad observation, regarding his own marriage:

"The only thing worse than being alone, is wishing you were alone."

You and your parents are in my prayers.

Be well,
Boris
Be well.

[StarPuppy]

I understand but when i am with her, i dun feel myself, people always say that your SO is your best friend but somehow i don't feel like it

[Desert Ghost]

I saw Charly reply in my inbox but its not here but i will post a reply anyway

Our differences may be beneficial but it is the temperament of us and the thinking of each other + the interests can cause a big communcation break down and not make it beneficial anymore

SP you may want to step back from this relationship and ask God's guidance as to what you should do. But, it looks like this relationship is toxic in natural even though you see benefits. You need to weigh the good against the bad elements, because it seems to be an unsafe relationship. Remember H.A.L.T. = Hungry, Anger, Loneliness, and Tired any one of these can cloud our judgment which can affect our resolve to recover from addiction.

[QueenofHearts]

SP,

Maybe you should brainstorm the pro's and con's of your relationship. Ask yourself what makes you happy about being with your SO and what doesn't. Analyze the list, it will give you a visual perspective on your feelings about it.

Perhaps you are stressed or just having a rough period with her. I don't think any relationship is consistently harmonious and peacefull 100% of the time. There are always phases involved.

I hope you find answers to what you want.

[StarPuppy]

SP you may want to step back from this relationship and ask God's guidance as to what you should do. But, it looks like this relationship is toxic in natural even though you see benefits. You need to weigh the good against the bad elements, because it seems to be an unsafe relationship. Remember H.A.L.T. = Hungry, Anger, Loneliness, and Tired any one of these can cloud our judgment which can affect our resolve to recover from addiction.

I am unsure on how to ask God from guidance because my thoughts are that either she miraculous changes to what i can love instead of her flaring temper OR either some other better girl shows up but then again, i would have hurt her by letting her wait for me for so long

As for addiction wise, i am not too worried as I don't want to disappoint our Lord anymore, He has shown me that He was always with me except i didn't notice and now that I know, i don't want to hurt Him anymore by going back into the pits of P

[StarPuppy]

SP,

Maybe you should brainstorm the pro's and con's of your relationship. Ask yourself what makes you happy about being with your SO and what doesn't. Analyze the list, it will give you a visual perspective on your feelings about it.

Perhaps you are stressed or just having a rough period with her. I don't think any relationship is consistently harmonious and peacefull 100% of the time. There are always phases involved.

I hope you find answers to what you want.

Thanks QoH, i don't expect a relationship to be smooth all the time but i feel that a couple should give each other their space by not shouting at them at arguments but trying to understand and giving different perspectives calmly at every problem because getting angry does not help

And also one must be open to each other interest, if its harmful (like PA), try to understand and pull him/her out slowly from harmful things. For my case, i was interested in knowing more about Christianity and our Lord, but she just said "No, i don't like em, there is no explaining why, you don't have to ask me anymore" Bam, a instant shut door