Flight to the Stars/Skies - StarPuppy Journal/Diary

[StarPuppy]

I never though of it this way..I just thought people just wanted to put me down..no wonder some of you guys are pretty annoyed of what i am now..

I been a very serious person when people sorta scold me out of tough love, i take their scoldings as a degrading remark but yeah i understand

SP,

I actually believe that I understand what you are saying here about wanting encouragement rather than criticism. But I am getting the impression that you may forget to look at your own part of the interaction with people here. Therefore I have a few of questions for you:

Is it possible that the people who invest their time in very sincere attempts of trying to help you feel that you don't take neither them nor yourself seriously?

Could it be a possibility that by not taking it (them/yourself) seriously that people become frustrated and therefore turn to "tough love" in order to get through to you because they still are sincere in their attempts to try and help you?

Is there any way that you can turn people's approach towards you into more encouragement and less "hard love"?

The questions are meant for you only to think about, if you want to do so, not necessarily to be replied to here.

Good luck.

- Alika

[Alika]

SP,

Stepping outside of the situation, looking at it from the outside, can often be a help to figure out what is going on.

From my own experience here on TTF, people are eager to help and offer support, so you are not really likely to find someone here that is out to put anyone down. That's why I suggested trying another point of view.

Try going over the "tough love" and see if you can find a different perspective to it, you may see that people are trying their damnest to be helpful and supportive, also when the phrasing becomes really blunt, maybe especially when the phrasing gets really blunt. Sometimes we all need a reality check, and sometimes it takes an extra dosis of bluntness.

And just a thought... Could it be that people actually care enough about you to try to speak a bit "louder" to get through to you because they think that you are worth it and want to see you succeed? :)

- Alika

[StarPuppy]

Firstly i would like to say a clean 2 weeks without relapse nor temptation..God is with me and no temptations so far, a small urge during the weekend but it soon passed....yay!!! :)

Wow..the World cup is rocking everyone..but i am not really into soccer but the Official Theme Song sounds really great \:D/

Anyway i been talking to my girl about how the relationship has been going, i admitted that i had my shares of fault and did not love her for who she was and i should be more forgiving like God which forgive all who had sinned.

I was so against her bad points that i did not notice mine and despite me hurting her emotionally so many times, she still cared about me.

with regards to the P/MB issue, i noticed that it was my fault that we could not be intimate because i was always asking her to fulfill my P desire and it was making her sick so we decided if i needed my urges to be fulfilled, it has to be her who is in the mood and be willing and not me being a baby and whining my urges to be met.

yeah..thats what i have to say for now..Thanks for all who are reading :)

[Desert Ghost]

SP,

It looks like you are starting to see that "P" and "MB" are things that just get in the way of a healthy relationship with our SO. An as your length of sobriety increases, the more you will come to realize that you never want to go back to the old unhealthy habits of "P" and "MB".

[StarPuppy]

Thanks DG, but i worry that due to P, i am worried that my level of intimacy might be different as from before before P came into my life

[Desert Ghost]

If "P" was with before you started your relationship with your current girlfriend. Then you should or hopefully see an increase in the intensity in the intimacy as you detox from "P" by staying away from it.

[StarPuppy]

I wanted to post this last night but K9 locked me down to prevent me sleeping too late

Anyway after reading Daniel Journal, i felt that he is very lucky to have a wife to support him despite his slip, anyways Honesty is always hard, i know because at times I dare not to be honest and come online and tell everyone i relapsed frequently but not anymore, The more I lie, the more I am away from God who is protecting me and blessing me the things i have in life(my girlfriend who has always loved me despite me forcing her to satisfy my Sxual desires, my family who supports me financially and advising me what is the right path in life and also my friends(including TTF) who are here to help me in different paths of difficulty such as P and confidence in oneself)

I do not want to fall back into the pit of P and not cherish all the good things in life, the small but yet loving things in life( seeing the sun and its glory, helping my parents with groceries or helping my SO with housework, the luxury to use the internet and also my health

I feel that i cannot relapse back into P because God might not want me back(everyone says that God is forgiving) but i do not want to abuse the kindness that he has given me, i might not have the love i want from my So the next time i relapse.

Anyway i forget to mention to everyone that my parents are undergoing a kidney transplant(my father donating his kidney to my mum) and even tho the rate of failure is 0.003% , the operation is tomorrow, i am worried and may i be selfish enough to ask that everyone who vists my journal, please pray for my parents..thanks

>:D<

[65Ford]

SP - Best wishes to your parents. I'm sitting here irritated about leaky pipes and cars that won't start, but in the grand scheme of things the health of our loved ones is all that really matters. Perspective, man, perspective.

[Desert Ghost]

SP - I hope that all goes well for you parents tomorrow, I'll keep them in my prays for a swift recovery. An let me say that you are a luck person to have parents that sound like kind and loving people.

[StarPuppy]

Thanks Ford and DG

I would like to say even tho i may be blessed but let us look in the view that we are not fighting this battle alone, (your SO, our TTF)

all with us :D