Benedict's plan and journal

[MaxB]

Keep going Benedict; it will be worth it to you, as it will be for all of us.

[Benedict]

I have seen several PAs get harsh and hurtful responses to their posts, and recently also experienced this when I made an honest response to an explicit request from an SO to explain the thought processes of the PA. This experience made me think seriously about leaving TTF and my usual strategies for dealing with feeling bad kicked in big time. But I have decided to come back here, start a new journal, and see how it goes. I think I need to learn to take some risks, and be willing to hear some harsh responses occasionally (whether justified or not) without reacting according to old habits.

I think Aliki’s post” How, when, and where we address each other” really summarized a good set of guidelines for productive communication on this site. We really need to remember that one size does not fit all. People have different values and beliefs, couples have different shared expectations and bottom lines for partner behaviour, and PAs here can find different strategies acceptable or effective. It's a fine line between debating views of others (which can challenge them to look at things from another angle or give them insights for strategies to change things and is a huge benefit of participating in TTF) and appearing to be or actually being presumptuous or offensive.