Dave42's Very Gay Journal of Recovery

[dave42]

I really am a weird person, you know? I mean, last night, I was reading this newspaper article that I felt was really poorly written and I wrote an extremely angry e-mail to the author that was just completely unfair and uncivilized. She replied so politely this morning. I was just totally I am totally embarrassed and ashamed. I'm 44. I'm supposed to know better. It seems (not looking for excuses here) almost hormonal, you know?

sigh...then I couldn't fall asleep last night, because I was thinking about the article (It was on a topic that gets me very upset.) and the author and the comments left by others.

Why do I do that?! Why? I know that that kind of behavior is stupid, unfair, and ultimately I'll just feel bad. Maybe the link to p (if there is one) is that I use p to escape from the weirdness of being me. I think I'm a pretty weird person. sigh...I guess we all feel that way. I thought I'd accepted my "uniqueness" a long time ago -- you know: shortcomings are part of the package and all that.

I need to write an apology to the journalist. S***. I hate that. How embarrassing. No excuses, though: I need to do it.

[dave42]

Okay, it's done. I wrote her an apology. I feel like s***. Okay, folks, well, this is a weird end to a weird day for this weird guy. Sigh...Maybe a little sleep will help. If anyone out there reading this is feeling really bad about your character, I guess you can take solace in knowing you have some company!

[FoolishMind]

Dave42, I think people only term others as 'weird' when they don't truly understand that person. I'm sure people who know you and understand you, wont consider you weird but simply a unique human being, just like every other human being on this planet has their own uniqueness and wonderful characters.

Dont feel silly dude, we are all passionate about something, and small things can sometime bring out over the top reactions. Your human, your unique, be proud of it, dont be embarressed by it.

FM

[dave42]

Thank you, Foolish Mind. You have, as usual, really helped!

[Daniel]

Dave42 -I'll throw my name into the Weird Hat. Definitely weird!

Every single person has their own set of idiosynchrasies and idiosynchratic behaviors, no exceptions.

As FM said and you already pointing out, we just need to live in them in the most peaceful way(s) possible...

My $.02!,

Daniel

[dave42]

"we just need to live in them in the most peaceful way(s) possible..." yes! Thanks, Daniel: so true. Here is to peaceful ways of living!

[dave42]

Okay, so I'm still doing great! I'm trying to find a bit of balance in my life. It's an extremely busy life these days with work and a ton of studying/stress.

Good news: great health, great partner, great job, great family, roof over head, and a p-free life ahead full of good times.

Here's to one p-free day at a time for everyone reading this!!!!

[Daniel]

There you go Dave!

Being thankful for the little things in life, the basic things. And of course on reflection we thought they were little and basic (like the peace of mind that comes with doing right), and realized they were actually Big Things.

Thank you for all you are doing to rally the troops! Nice work and such a great encourager to so many.

Daniel

[dave42]

Thanks, Daniel. I'm excited today to have an important date set. Now, the trick will be to study like h*** between now and the date. I think I come to TTF to avoid studying. hmmmm..... that's not good! Okay, from now on, I'm coming here for short periods only.

Good luck, everyone! We will do this together, a day at a time!

[dave42]

Today I managed to study pretty hard. I'm just checking in quickly before heading off to bed.