Dave42's Very Gay Journal of Recovery

[Crisodian]

Focus Dave!

We have faith in you that you can find your way back to the light and get back on the path of recovery.

You know you want this. We know you want this. (Kick in the pants time....) NOW get it together and do it!

One day at a time.
Peace,
~C~

[dave42]

Good News, everyone: I've been clean since the last slip I mentioned, so I'm hoping that I'm getting some traction this time. Also, I just got home from my second meeting of sex addicts anonymous. Very useful group. The speaker had been clean for over 4 years, after a long life (he's 63) of p and prostitutes. Also, he said that staying busy was the key, and he said that there were lots and lots of difficult days.

Very inspiring!

Thanks, Crisodian, for the kick in the pants! Luckily, I've been able to stay clean, and I now have a new filter on my computer that my partner installed.

All the best,

Dave

[Crisodian]

Dave,
I am very happy to hear you are back on the path to recovery. I am glad you have found a place for support that is working for you and it sounds like you have your partner involved now with the filters as well. Keep going strong!

Here's to no more kicks in the pants!

I hope everything is going great for you!

Peace,
~C~

[Daniel]

... Also, I just got home from my second meeting of sex addicts anonymous. Very useful group. The speaker had been clean for over 4 years, after a long life (he's 63) of p and prostitutes. Also, he said that staying busy was the key, and he said that there were lots and lots of difficult days.

Glad to hear things are copastetic Dave! Nice work.

Thank you for sharing the bit about the speaker as SA -it's interesting to hear of others' perspectives and experiences.

I am with him on the "difficult days" aspect -being P free is awesome for long stretches but it can still be very challenging.

Daniel

[dave42]

Thanks, Crisodian and Daniel! Another good day. Today my partner and I had our first session of couples counseling. It was productive, although I didn't come clean about the recent relapse that involved the strip club. sigh...well, I need to work on that. But, I'm glad that I'm still going strong. Also, a guy from the support group called to check in. That was really, really great. He is relatively new and has had a relapse, but it felt great to talk to someone from the group.

Hope everyone is doing great!

[Crisodian]

dave,
Cleanse the soul, my friend. Next time you have a session, come clean. Honesty is always the best policy. You know it. :)

I'm glad you have made strides with your partner and are in counseling together. I hope for you both it helps heal the wounds in your relationship and you both come out stronger through the experience! It's also great to hear you are making connections from your SA group. Sometimes words aren't enough. Hearing a voice on the line can help. Good for you!

Hope you have a great day! Keep going strong.

Peace,
~C~

[Crisodian]

Dave,
Just checking in to see how your progress is going? I hope it's going strong.

Peace,
~C~

[Athenon]

Hey Dave,

I have been gone a little while. I'm back and thought I would drop a hello in your journal.

I think it's great that you joined a SA group. It takes courage to go out there and get help.

Your commitment to recovery is real my friend.

[dave42]

Thanks to Athenon and to Crisodian! I really appreciate your notes of concern and support.

So, in a sense (a limited one!) I've been doing well: no porn, no strip clubs, no nothin' serious.

However, I've been extremely bad at resolving that this is my new life.

Just now I said to myself, "David! David! It's not going to work [a life with porn]! You've got to commit yourself to being clean." I guess my main emotion is sadness. I love p! I really think that the strip club is the happiest place on earth. Those are just such strong, strong pulls. Yet, I spend a great deal of money at the club and I spenda great deal of time (and money sometimes) on porn. It's just so sad to have to give it up. Sigh...When I was a child I spake as a child, etc. I guess the point is that I really have to take my recovery much more seriously. I commit to at least one post a day for the next 7 days.

Good luck, everyone!

[Dewvis]

I love p! I really think that the strip club is the happiest place on earth. Those are just such strong, strong pulls. Yet, I spend a great deal of money at the club and I spenda great deal of time (and money sometimes) on porn. It's just so sad to have to give it up. Sigh...

I can totally understand. Sometimes I felt so high and happy in the middle of a binge I actually took out pen and paper and tried to write down how it felt because I couldn't' remember ever feeling so good and I wanted to describe it and capture it.