Dave42's Very Gay Journal of Recovery

[dave42]

Athenon and Crisodian: Thank you!!!!


I'm still hanging in there (and I'm still studying like crazy!)
Dave

[Crisodian]

hey dave,
I was wondering how things were going for you? Still hanging in there I hope!

Be strong,
~C~

[dave42]

Thanks Crisodian. Yes, I am, although I have to admit that I've been looking at stupid pictures of Levi Johnston! Ha! Stupid of me to play with fire. I'm kind of stressed out with my exam. Going to see some friends in a little while: that ought to help. I'm just in a vulnerable place right now, I guess. Thanks, Crisodian. It feels great to know that you care, so I really appreciate it. I haven't been much of a helper here at TTF for the last month, but I do appreciate that way you and other are making me feel a part of it.

Okay, no more soft p. It's just my nerves getting to me. It's got to stop, though. I need to really avoid the slippery slope in this last week before my big exam.

Thanks

[Crisodian]

dave,
Great to hear you are doing well...albeit stressed over the exam. Stay strong! Focus on you and the exam. One day at a time.

... And we do miss you around here! :)

It sounds like you already know to keep away from the slippery stuff! Keep moving forward!

Peace,
~C~

[dave42]

Unfortunately, I looked at more soft p. No nudity, but close. Sigh...I know this is wrong. reason: I'm stressed out about the exam, I'm tired, and I'm looking for excuses to misbehave. My partner's infidelity is a great excuse. I need to get a grip.

Plan:

Until next Monday:
No more internet without a very specific, and quick plan to get some specific task done.
Talk to my partner, who is stressed out about ink stains in the wash (might have been my fault. ... sigh... he doesn't want to talk about this now, I'm sure, but I'm sure he'll be supportive too.
Have a plan for misbehaving. I can't study every moment, but when I'm lazy, I need to figure out something to do besides surfing the Internet. TV is looking good.

Okay, there is more to the plan, but that's enough for now.

All the best,

Dave

[Crisodian]

dave,
Don't give "excuses" permission to take you to a place where you know you don't want to go!

Stress doesn't help, I know. (Believe me, I can sympathise there. That was always one of my toughest triggers, and giving in to the "excuses and rationalizations".) Find something relaxing you enjoy that will keep you away from the danger zone.

It sounds like you are putting a plan in place already. Keep building on it. The deeper the foundation, the stronger the building. Planning ahead is an excellent choice to move forward.

Be strong! And good luck on the exam!
~C~

[Daniel]

Hey Dave,

We know it's not the way it used to be (compulsion with worse material etc., etc.), so there is a minor victory in not letting things escalate to worse.

But we also know the thinking that is produced only compounds the issues of the day...

To get up and leave (and break the chains trying to ensnare us!), may this be your next reaction when the old feeling emerges.

Hang in there Dave,

Daniel

[dave42]

Thanks, Crisodian and Daniel! So far, so good today. Have been staying away from the Internet except for very targeted tasks, such as writing to you!

@ Crisodian: I like the idea of the deeper the foundation the stronger the building. Thank you for that. I'll keep that in mind in a number of areas this week: relationship, work, exam prep, and the p addiction

@ Daniel: thanks! I think you are right: if I go anywhere near the temptation, even in my mind, I must physically get up and go away from the computer. I appreciate your support!

All the best,

Dave

[Crisodian]

Keep going strong, dave!

Foundations in all areas of our lives are important. :)

Peace,
~C~

[dave42]

Hi, Everyone:

I'm going strong, I guess. Today I didn't make the mistake of looking at suggestive pictures. Been too busy, but also I feel committed. Talked to partner--he was supportive. One more day until the big exam. I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be.