The truth is painful - but required

[dave]

I am a newbie - 15 days clean from my PA
You really inspire me. My emotions are still quite raw and the recent note from
your partner really called out my tears
I am really proud of both of you - I hope and pray that 85 days from now I can
be where you are at - especially the peace you feel with yourself and the joy
of your relationship
Thanks for sharing your journey
Dave

[FoolishMind]

112 days..

(read aloud...Seriously!)

If your happy and you know it clap your hands (CLAP CLAP)
If your happy and you know it clap your hands (CLAP CLAP)
If your happy and you know it,
and you really wanna show it...
If your happy and you know it clap you hands (CLAP CLAP)

If you aren't already smiling, you do have permission to smile... now! :D

note: Specifically for new members:-

If you are thinking about starting your journey, have started, or are about to start. It has been repeated many times on this site, but I will never tire of saying it again...

Step 1 - Acknowledge the addiction
Step 2 - Understand where you think it started, and what your triggers are and your most tempting environments or situations

Step 3 - Have a plan to counter all your temptations, triggers and tempting environments

Step 4 - Use this site, Use a family member / partner for extra beneficial support.

Step 5 - Dont look back, don't wallow in self hatred,

Step 6 - Observe the new YOU, unfold each day. Focus on the positives and focus on how wonderful you new life becomes.

If you are genuine, you will notice differences in yourself within a couple of weeks. FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!

I am 30 years old, and I have never felt better than I have done in the last 112 days. I sincerely wish everyone to experience what I am experiencing now. True Freedom & Inner Peace!

FM

[AnxiouslyEngaged]

First of all, can I have your permission to just copy and paste that list of steps into my brain? You're living proof that it works, FM. I just want to say thanks. Thanks for supporting me, thanks for your broad support of so many others here, and, most importantly, thank you for succeeding. The fact that you have made it 112 days is absolutely fantastic in every way shape and form. In my mind, there is a silent prayer that everyone who comes here, to this forum, and sticks with it, will see the same number. And, of course, ever-larger numbers of days ever after.

Give yourself a man hug from me.

AE

[belzedar]

Hi Mind,

I have read, over the last day or so, your thread and I guess I just wanted to say ow inspiring it is, how honest you have been.

What you said about not wallowing in self pity, but looking forward....really hit home with me. I have been struggling since my return to the forum and have lapsed several times, today is my new day 1, and reading back on my posts for the last day or so I realise I have been wallowing in self pity and self loathing. I am going to try to be as honest with myself and everyone here as you were as I have come to realise, by reading what you have gone through, that only through being honest with myself and with the people here who care and support us, can I make it work. Lying and kidding yourself about things just makes everything so much worse.

Anyway, I have wandered off my point as usual lol....just wanted to say thankyou for sharing your journey, it has helped clarify a lot of things in my mind and has showed me that it isnt a battle that can't be won.

Belzedar

[castaway16]

emm ... I asked you in my jounal why haven't you posted here recently .. well, it's m fault I didn't notice ! (technically it's vBulletin's fault :D) ...

so .. LOL .. this one is amazing ! and you know what ?? I was lucky enough to be reading this post while I was all alone .. so I did read it out loud (sing it as well :) ) .. and I did clap my hands :D

another thing .. this kind of optimism and positivesness is great .. I was just having temptations coming in .. and they all just faded away upon reading your post !

Thanks FM .. it was fun reading this :)

[FoolishMind]

Just wanted to share something with you guys that really made me smile.

I was just asking my wife for the login details for me to log into the online supermarket site, so I can place a shopping order (because she was on the site at home in the weekend). She said she didnt remember, because when she went to the website, the browser remembered the username and password. Then it hit me....

For the last 4 months, I have not needed to clear any cache, history, login details etc! Unbelievable! I felt so proud, I e-mailed her back and said, it was because of that. She replied saying she was impressed and also that for the last 4 months she has not received any alert e-mails saying ive been or checked dodgy sites :D

It was just a really nice reminder for me, and felt really proud. Sorry only a little thing to share, but was quite a big thing for me!

[belzedar]

Hi FM

Sorry I haven't been on more recently, it just made me smile reading your last post...it's fantastic that something like not having had to clear your history is such an indicator of your new life...because it is!!...but what is so great about it is that it wasnt counted down....1 week without clearing history, 2 weeks without clearing history...etc etc...but something that just happened, it shows how natural and part of your personality the changes you have made have become. To me that is such a huge achievement, to get to that point without thinking about it. I would normally say 'i hope i can get to that level of honest, genuine living' but I won't, instead (after what you said on my thread) i'll say I AM going to get to that level!! :)

I'm a week P free today and I hadn't realised til I checked my last few posts, i'll always be 105 days behind you though ;)

[castaway16]

Hello FM .. I'm really happy for you man ! I'm happy also as I can relate to this incident you mentioned .. it feels really awesome that you have nothing to hide (at last!) .. and even if you do hide something, you know you're not doing anything wrong and that's more than satisfying for me ..

it's also a blessing to live your life by "just one personality", no hypocrisy, no shame .. that's wonderful ! the man who's looked up to and respected outside is the same guy inside .. he lives by the same standards whatever the circumstances .. with a company of strangers, friends or even completely alone ..

Hooray for you on your 4 months milestone ! you really deserve this .. enjoy your life FM ..

[AnxiouslyEngaged]

That is something to be happy about, isn't it? I hadn't realized that either, but it's the same for me. I haven't had to clear history for a long time, and that does feel really good.

Way to go, and thanks for pointing out one more little thing to be grateful for.

AE

[cmperry]

Sounds like your having a brutal wake up call buddy, I feel for you! Know exactly what you mean about seeing girls on tv and then looking them up on the internet after, I used to do that too.

My husband does this aswell, and it is very devistating to have to look at those women again. It's kinda like as if someone had cheated on you then the culprit comes over uninvited for dinner. I'm not sure if its the right word to describe the feeling but the one I use is dethroned. I'm not trying to be mean at all, I'm just really trying to relate. Thank you all for this site, it has been so much help