My Struggle - HalfPint

[Light]

HalfPint, you shouldn't beat yourself up over what occured.

In my experience, when I was single, I had some success in my struggle to give up porn, and would go long stretches without it. I noticed that every now and then I would have a "nocturnal emission." Many times it would be when I was half asleep or just waking up, and usually it was accompanied by something sexual, or even the porn images I had looked at in the past.

Now that I have a girlfriend, and we are intimate on a regular basis, this doesn't happen anymore.

Don't sweat it, but if you have a choice to allow those images, or to redirect your thoughts to something better, I would encourage you to choose the latter of the two.

Good luck, and rest up so you don't get sick!

[Flamel]

My one piece of advice is this: Don't look back. Also to add to that piece of advice, don't get depressed and don't let a failure knock down your brick wall, rather let it add another brick to make it stronger.

I think that's great advice, HalfPint, thanks. I've really been struck by how so much of the advice that people give here sounds so simple, and so commonplace, and yet people are giving this advice because it works, because it is true. I wonder how often we look for a complex solution just because the problem is complex. Perhaps we need "only" repeatedly apply a simple remedy. Like moving on, taking the long view of minor setbacks, and not forgetting our commitment to the struggle.

As for your other issue (pun intended, sorry :D), I don't think it's a problem at all. I too have experienced something similar when I've been off the P or the MB for a while. I guess they decrease with time, but it's always going to happen to a certain extent, I think.

[HalfPint]

Thank you all for the encouragement, it has helped oh so much. Well . . . today is that day . . . today 2 months ago was the last day I looked a porn or masturbated. Tomorrow marks 2 months of complete pornfreeness.

[clog]

It's always good to hear you going from strength to strength HP! You're a true credit to the site and an example to all of us. Keep going strong and it will strengthen all of us in our resolve to overcome this addiction.

[HalfPint]

Its good for me to hear from people like you to Clog. Hearing that my success is helping others succeed and helping strengthen others makes me just want to fight so much more. Knowing that I'm helping someone who I don't know, someone who could be worlds apart from me means a great deal to me. Also Knowing that I'm helping someone I don't know, someone worlds apart from me encourages me, makes me want to keep going, to not give in. Thank you for your post and your encouragement.

Today is the start of a new month. This is now march. This means that spring is just around the corner, and thank God, those of us not blessed enough to live in warmer climates are going to FINALLY get a little relief from this cursed snow. This also means that its a new month to be successful in. Its another 27th and another 28th for me, and hopefully some of you are hoping for the same thing.

I have made it successfully through 2 months 2 days, and Praise God for that. I Haven't made it this far on my strength alone, of course God has helped me, and of course everyone here watching my story, participating in my story, and helping me to not mess up, have all helped me. Even the simplest "your doing well HP" or "Your an encouragement to me" helps me so much. I cannot express how much the little things are helping. I truly thank you all.

[HalfPint]

well . . . I feel this morning was a success. I'm still clean and am so thrilled that I am, but I just thought I would post about what happened this morning. Lately I haven't been feeling well, due to bronchitis, sinusitis, and an ear infection, so I've been sitting around playing games with my brother and practically just doing nothing. Well, It's been hard for me to sleep with all this going on so I've tossed and turned a lot and haven't gotten much refreshing sleep. Last night I slept decently but again not enough to be refreshing. Well, as I was waking up this morning something happened. I was still unable to control my thoughts or anything, and I had no idea that the reality in my head was fake. I don't even remember what was going on in my head, all I remember was waking up to having a nocturnal emission. This time . . . it was completely out of my hands. There was nothing I could do about it this time. For me this seems like a milestone because so many men have told me this: "If you are truly over porn and masturbation, and your not having sex, then you will have a nocturnal emission that you cant control. You will wake up and it will be done". Thats exactly what happened. So . . . I'm excited. This is making me feel better. That and the success that I've been having.

Also remember, I'm here for everyone else to. I'm pulling for everyone else on this forum thats struggling.

[Dominus]

That is very interesting, and I admire your candor in talking about this. I have wondered recently how difficult it must be for youngster who are not married and having sex to keep on top of these strong feelings building up, and that is the obvious answer, its like a pressure relief valve, like it says in the bible 'god will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear'. I have to say that I am most impressed that someone as young as yourself is so level headed, wish I had been so when I was your age.
Keep up the good work, I also hope you get better from your sinusitus, bronchitus and the ear infection, sounds really grim... do you take vitamins??

[HalfPint]

Yea, I was always told that it was a "pressure release" but I never experienced it, and I feared that either I had masturbated and looked at porn too many years or I was too old to experience a nocturnal emission. I was always under the impression that it was for someone earlier on in their sexual experiences. Really I've only had one type of sexual experience but I had been doing that so long I though I was past the period of the ability to have one. I guess I'm wrong. That was my second. The first one I could have prevented but didn't, the second one was out of my control completely.

Its interesting that you used the quote that God will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. I've used that quote a LOT. I've also been tempted a lot and fell to that temptation. I was starting to wonder if it was true. Then I found my true strength. My strength is not my own, its Gods. I was trying to do things under my own power, trusting my own judgment, when that was all too foggy and weak to even lift a finger. Being here is so encouraging that its helping me realize that there is a God who loves me and who will help me if I let him, and its helping me realize that I can over come these desires, these temptations.

I thank you for the compliment, I've never quite been called level headed before, and I guess its a blessing that God has given to me. Maybe its one that I've gotten from all the things that have happened to me through my life that don't normally happen to people of my age. Not saying I've had it any worse than other however.

Anyways Thank you for the encouragement and the positive words, they help out a lot. Also, I don't take vitamins, I'm sure it would help if I did. I do, however, try to eat fruit and veggies and I figured I'd get something out of those at least. lol . . . right now the last thing that I want is to put something in my stomach though. The antibiotics the doc has me on, has my stomach turning like a hurricane. I've come close to puking the last half an hour or so because it just hurts. It feels so sour inside. I don't like it. They seem to be working though . . . I hope lol.

[HalfPint]

It is 75 days from the day I came here to today, today included
Or 2 months, 13 days including today!

[HalfPint]

Okay, so today I was just tempted. I came across some of the things I used to masturbate with (kinda embarrassing). I need to get rid of them, in fact I am getting rid of them asap. they made me think about some stuff which is making me want to go online again. I've just been feeling really crappy lately. If anyones been paying attention to stuff I've been saying, then you should know that I was battling sinusitis, bronchitis and an ear infection. Well all 3 of those are better, however, now I have mono and thats tough because there are no meds that make that better. Basically the doc prescribed a steroid for the swelling (so its not so hard to breath and swallow, also so my neck wont be so sore) and said to take Advil (ibuprofen) for the fever/pain. I may take acetaminophen instead though. Thats better for fever, not so harsh on my stomach and works just as well on the soreness of my throat. So, being wore out from all this sickness I'm just feeling low right now and I guess thats why my mind so easily slipped to thinking of the images that I did. Anyways, I didn't end up looking at porn or masturbating, instead I came here :). I'm still clean, and writing this is helping me clean the images out of my mind.

so that means that I'm 77 days clean, today included
Or 2 months, 15 days including today!