Day 1 - terry7's Journal

terry7 · 10:55 PM

Thank you TTF for the idea of a journal.

Like everyone has said before reading each others jounrals it helps and is comforting to now that i aint the only one with a problem

It makes sense to do this. If no one has read my story il keep it short (New need help!)

- 23yr old student
- addicted to porn and over time i have come to realise this
- hate to have a double life
- i want to stop

I really hope and pray that that starting this journal i am able to make a start to get rid of this awful habit.

so here goes day 1 so far so good ive not bin on the computer at all today so this has limited the bad thoughts. i went to town and i saw some really good looking women and you tend to think 'man she is nice' but immediatley i think no dont look at them you'l get those thougths again.

But i think then that if i do this i wont be able to look and talk to women propely

has this every happened to anyone?

God Bless

T

Daniel · 08-21-2008, 02:28 AM

terry7,

You're in a real good place literally and figuratively.

One, you have found TTF. Here folks are serious and very sincere about living P-free lives. The encouragement, advice, sharing, and caring is just incredible.

Two, you realize now at your age that this P problem needs to go and now! The problem ignored will only grow bigger and more complicated with time, a wife, children, responsibilties, etc.

Everyone has their own reasons for quitting P but certainly a common thread is: break the cycle of slavery to P, regain self, regain joy, peace, self-respect, the respect of others, end the duplicity, end the denial and lies, stop the terminal selfishness. And we're just getting started...!

Way to go on the realization that this thing can ultimately destroy your indentity, rob you of your true self. I say over and over that P is monster that is only satisfied with MORE. The bigger it grows the smaller the real you becomes.

I believe the only way to beat P, the inner craving for it that is, is to starve it to death.

This takes a lot of committment and dedication.

And the great news is there are many many folks at this site who will encourage and help you along the trodden path. We're all in this together. I've never encountered anything like the comraderie here at TTF.

Welcome!, and may you succeed in your efforts to get clean and stay clean,

Daniel

Michael · 08-21-2008, 03:15 PM

Hi Terry,
Good decision on this journal. Its a great help.
You were talking about your reaction when you see attractive women. I think every man looks. Its part of who we are and its how God made us. Its when we turn our thought loose is where we get into trouble. porn has trained our minds to see women as objects that are used for one thing. We need to retrain our minds is all.

Here's what I’ve found helpful. I don’t deny myself when I see a beautiful women. I look but when I start to wander I redirect my thoughts to notice subtle things about her. I do things like wonder what brought her here today, what kind of struggles has she had in her life. I think about her as a person not as an object. It’s really helped allot.
You CAN do this.

terry7 · 08-21-2008, 08:02 PM

Thank you to everyone so far

i will try to act on advice given and see how it goes

terry7 · 08-22-2008, 08:09 PM

ive been at home all alone all day ive had little thoughts here and there and ive tried to block them. Im watching the news and ive saw a nice newscaster. immediately my mind is going towards P i go upstairs and i switch on the computer and do the unfortunate. Ive only lasted 2 days and i feel like idiot, really bad and pathetic the feeling lasted a couple of minutes and i could have switched the computer of but i did not.

I no there is no time for me to feel sorry for my self i need to set targets wot can i do?

Seriously need to think wot my prioties are.

bodget1974 · 08-22-2008, 08:25 PM

i'd like to say well done mate for joining this forum, i promise it WILL make a differance, it has helped me no end..

be strong my friend

B

Daniel · 08-23-2008, 04:05 AM

terry7,

Hang in there. Get up, dust yourself off, head back to the fight. You can do it.

Recognize what the triggers were. Plan to stay as far away from them as you can muster next time. You will get there..

Daniel

terry7 · 08-23-2008, 07:30 PM

for sure i need to see what are the triggers for this.

Thanks for the advice

terry7 · 08-27-2008, 01:13 PM

day 3 without any p and m im starting to feel a little wierd as i am im on my own at home. im trying to keep busy cos i really want to finish this.

terry7 · 08-28-2008, 09:35 PM

hi everyone its my 4th day without p and m and i gotta say that this journal and looking at other peoples journals is helping.

I had a few moments on the internet where i have the temptation but i ask god for help and turn the computer off. being on my own at home for large parts of the day does not help so ive decided not to be on the computer.