Onward: Daniel's Journal

[dave]

Perhaps the tough time of being testing are what we need time-to-time. Sorry to hear they attacked when you were so isolated. I noticed Farmer takes some time away from the site.
I don't do that yet.
Someone posted awhile back that PA has a sneaky agenda - it likes to flex its muscles from sometimes. That you beat it back is good. Perhaps it will wait longer b4 showing its head again.
Hang in there
Dave

[glovert]

Yer the temptations do come on waves especially to MB, something I need to work through to control. I just read ur journal and its very touching and helpful. Even though its not the same story, I can find many parallels. Thank You

[EndOfTheLine]

Hey Daniel - thanks for the message you left in my journal - it's good to know that others share my attitude towards MB.

I've just read over your last couple of entries and glad to see you had a great "Eye of the Tiger" moment when you were away! =D>

It really is a good feeling to know that you can stave off P's sneaky attacks, and everytime you do so it's like knocking another chunk out of P's own defencess. Good job! :)

[jack]

Just read your posts,i am a newbie and going through lot of stuff here. I wish you luck in your endevour.

It seems to me that only way to beat it is to be alert to extreme what some people may refer to as paranoia but its way way too easy to slip as most of you folks suggest.

Commited , focussed , strong willed is all well to write in posts, just be aware,dnt let no friggin chemical cloud your thinkin

May god bless ya.

[Daniel]

Since returning from my trip and getting reacquainted with my family, everything is back in order.

The storm of thought-life issues is over.

It's amazing how 'gutting up' and simply bulldozer-ing through that time has delivered a perfect calm in my mind. Of course I thank God for it. But the swing back to normalcy came and I'm super glad.

The lesson I suppose can be summarized as "this too shall pass."

If you're in a bad season and feel as if you're barely hanging on, it will pass.

Don't take your eye off the ball, remember why you are in the fight in the first place: Peace, Self-Respect, Self-Confidence, Clean Conscience, fill in the blank.

Daniel

[Vorlan]

I agree with you there Daniel, that's one of life's most important lessons in my opinion; Nothing lasts for ever, the bad as well as the good has it's time and then passes by.

It reminds me of the Peter Seeger song "Turn, turn, turn" which is interestingly almost totally a quotation from the Bible.

"To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose under heaven.

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep.

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together.

A time of war, a time of peace
A time of love, a time of hate
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing.

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of peace. . .I swear it's not too late."

Keep up the great work!

Best wishes,

Ben

[Little lock]

I agree with you there Daniel, that's one of life's most important lessons in my opinion; Nothing lasts for ever, the bad as well as the good has it's time and then passes by.

It reminds me of the Peter Seeger song "Turn, turn, turn" which is interestingly almost totally a quotation from the Bible.

"To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose under heaven.

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep.

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together.

A time of war, a time of peace
A time of love, a time of hate
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing.

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of peace. . .I swear it's not too late."

Keep up the great work!

Best wishes,

Ben

Vorlan said it the best. Sorry i've not been that active so far, what with exams and all. Glad to know you're doing well, keep it up my friend:)

[terry7]

read ur post daniel. well done on not caving in.

il put in a prayer for ya.

keep ur head up son.

god bless

T

[Daniel]

Back again after yet another even more awesome trip.

I am very happy to report smooth sailing.

It's funny but I feel an almost "survivor's guilt"! What a strange sensation this is.

I am familiar with most of our active TTF members' situations and there certainly is a continuum of experiences.

If I would have found TTF very early in my recovery I would have posted every day or more.

Now that I'm down the road a little, I feel less inclined to post in my journal because I have "nothing to report."

But how unfair!, as I believe taking stock of the journey and life's benefits once you're P-free should be, just maybe, worth the effort as it will encourage.

So 190+ days into it, what's different?

• mind is free from recurring images
• perfect internal peace
• not distracted by disturbing thoughts of plotting my next move in a secret life
• knowing I can answer ANY question from my Wife without flinching and especially without lies
• feeling "normal"
• not needing a hit or boost to enjoy quiet free time
• seeing life happen as it supposed to happen for perhaps the first time since P-free childhood?
• satisfaction with life in general, knowing I didn't/haven't given up in the struggle
• dredging up the old memories is becoming more and more difficult, every day/week/month that goes by clean I am less and less inclined to do so
• the stale sin-confess-repent-sin-confess-repent cycle is broken, whereby I see God can work in my life in ways I have never experienced before because what has been historically my most formiddalbe spiritual stumbling block and a heavy yoke of bondage has been removed (PRAISE GOD)

Please be encouraged. This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, among the PAs, I was the worst! To paraphrase and adapt Paul's teaching.

At the end, there is hope no matter what.

Best Regards to All,

Daniel

[jack]

Fabulous,i am so happy for ya :D