Thankyou Vorlan, it's nice to hear from you, I hope your holiday was good. Storm and I just returned from one ourselves, and though the emotions are still raw, we seem to be doing better. This site and people like you have really helped us, and I appreciate the support. Take care and God bless.
The Following User Says Thank You to Lucky Man For This Useful Post:
I just read your last long entry and we have several familiar aspects to our journey- especially the length of time. I am 56.
Now that I have been clean for over 4 months I can see things so much more clearly and it is hard to face some realities that P soothed for me.
My wife and I differ so much in our sexual interest. I don't want to go back to P - ever.
But living with so little sex is starting to wear on me. We are working on this but it is tricky ground. Her needs / interests - my perceived needs / triggers.
Dave
Dave, I know what you mean with seeing things more clearly, I am finally seeing important things that have been missed or cast aside for selfish reason in the past. Try to be patient with your wife about sex, I believe you two can find a happy medium. I am so happy to be close to Storm now that when we are together, it is soooo much better than it was when I was in my "fog". I am grateful for the times we are together, and let her know how much I love and desire her. I know now that our time together is special and should be treated that way. Have you let your wife
know that you are longing to be with her? Stay strong Dave, good luck and stay focused. LM
Even though I have been going through a difficult time lately (and you have shouldered the brunt of that) I wanted to let you know that I’m proud of you.
I have seen many, many positive changes in you in the last 2 months – here are a few:
Your attitude is so positive - even when mine isn’t and I really love that because it makes me feel like it’s us again and not you or me.
You have so much more patience with everybody and everything - that gives me hope that one day I can rely on you again.
You are behaving so unselfishly – that lets me know you are being honest when you say your priorities are clear now.
You are optimistic about our future even when I am pessimistic – that makes me want to believe in you again.
You have a real desire to hear about me and genuine concern over what I’m feeling – that makes me feel protected again.
In the past, my pain would cause you anger now you are able to feel real compassion and empathy and that makes me feel loved.
These are just a few of the wonderful changes I have witnessed – there are many more.
Thank you for being there for me while I go through my emotional rollercoaster – I know it’s not fun - but it is another testament to the positive changes in you.
Storm
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Storm For This Useful Post:
Thank you for being here and letting us all be a part of your journey.
peace and love,
crys
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time.
That post of Storm's acknowledging the changes in LuckyMan should ring load and clear to all the PA's here. P can change you as a person so much, its frightening!
Well done to the both of you. I sincerely hope you keep posting and updating us of all, as I dont think you realise how inspiring and helpful you will be to others. Both of you have completely reinforced my feelings and attitudes as to how a couple should work together and resolve this.
Huuuuuuge Well done!
FM
__________________________________________________ ___ Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.Martin Luther King Jr
Work together indeed FM, and thank you for your kind words. I am here to heal myself and my marriage first and foremost, but I’m really feeling like there is more to this, like I have a duty to share my journey with anyone who will listen. And to tell you the truth it feels good that I might be giving somebody who is/was in my shoes some advice that could help them….I would never “preach” to anyone, I know I have a problem, and I know that I didn’t want to face it. And I believe this is NOT an uncommon feeling, I only had a relatively small period of denial, but with my whole life flashing before my eyes, I could see me for what I really was………not a monster, not a villain, but someone who was seduced by something evil enough to ruin their whole life. So, I don’t want to preach, BUT, I feel that It’s my obligation to “get the word out” to what hell may be in store if you mess around with that crap. O.K. Back to my journal, it was soooo nice reading Storms post, I know that what I have done, my betrayal and my lying have caused irreparable damage to our relationship, but on the same hand has opened doors to us becoming closer than we have been in years. I am amazed at the changes in myself that I can see, and am happy to know that Storm can see them too. Some may scoff at this, but until you take an oath with yourself that you don’t have an option, that this crap not only will get the better of you, but ruin your life, you will never be free of it, and are setting yourself up for failure. I truly think of this as a fight against evil, and that we, together can tackle any urge or temptation that p can throws at us. Things are good, I give thanks to Foolish Mind, Vorlan, Searching4peace, Dave, FairyG, and anyone who has taken the time to read my story….I really am blessed to have figured out what is truly important to me, and thank this site for giving me a forum to let me express myself, I am a shy person, so this is a struggle for me, but feel the need to share my journey. God bless you all, stay focused, and stay strong!! LM
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Lucky Man For This Useful Post:
Thank you for the welcome in my journal. The quad of you & Storm, LM and Inshi (I'm finally connecting the dots) is very inspiring. My wife and I have had very similar experiences. She knows about TTF and how much it has helped and she is happy (and very busy). I don't know if I can get her on it. But if I can, I will point her to your SO's stories. Very nice work and thank you very much for putting your innermost lives and thoughts in a glass box for the betterment of all of us.
This is crazy; I’ve tried to post in my journal for two days now, but with a new work schedule and wanting to post on other sites have put my post on hold. And it’s funny, because I had so much to say about how things weren’t going so well, and…..mostly hard, difficult, struggling times, that consume me. My job is one where I am “out in the field” very early (5a.m.), and am left alone for the most part to accomplish what is expected of me. And I’ll tell you what……time spent driving around from site to site with hardly anyone out on the road gives me time to really critique myself and my life more than I really want to. I find myself getting very depressed, knowing that things are in a constant state of turmoil, knowing that I am the cause of irreparable damage to a relationship that meant everything to me. Now, I know what some would say (including Storm believe me) that how could you do what you did, if it WAS so important to you, and that is a hard question to answer. All I can say is in the past 80 days I have looked my personal demons in the eye, and am pissed that I am in the position I’m in. And the early mornings are a rude awakening that is sometimes very hard to bear. But this rollercoaster just keeps on rollin’, and I KNOW that feelings of remorse will constantly haunt me, but staying true to my convictions every day makes me stronger, and everyday Storm grows a little bit closer to me, because of my efforts and hers. So I post tonight with a good warm feeling of love for my wife, and the belief that things will get better, I know I’m a better person than I was 81 days ago, and owe a huge amount of thanks to this site, FM, Inshi and all that take the time to listen to my story……Life is good…..LM
holidays -
08-11-2008, 05:15 PM
Awe you guys are gonna make me cry
Linear Mode
